I so want my life back
Thanksgiving was a total farce. I had so looked forward to my son coming, thinking H was taking his darling out of town after dinner. Nope.
I worked my a$$ of (like many of us). Wed. afternoon H had to work-which involved sitting in the office if anyone called to have oil heated. No one did. So, why did H come home and act just exhausted-from sitting in an office playing on the computer?
So, H had accidently left his personal phone here last time he was home. It looks just like mine and I accidently used it (to call H) four times. H went off. What was I doing with HIS phone. How dare I use His phone, etc. So I just said, well, if the phones are personal, so are the computers. Your laptop is your laptop. My computer is mine and you and yours can ask me before using it. Off he went. Everything in the house is his, according to h. I pointed out that the house itself, is mine. My son heard all this, was very upset, Mom, he's going off saying this is his & that is his, that's crap. Which of course it is. H was in a bad mood because he didn't get to the County Club early enough to play cards.
I, of course, did all the cooking. I had to get the turkey ready & in the oven, wait for the dishwasher to finish running, got to bed late.
H, of course, was snoring away. Morning, skids arrive. SD17 heads straight for the upstairs bedroom-to claim it for her own. I had already put my son in there. That put her in a snit, of course. Got the meal on the table, mom and dad came & ate. Dinner is done. Kitchen a mess.
H said he'd do the clean up. SD13 helps. SD17 supposedly doing homework on my computer. I went in and laid down. Get up. Pots, pans, dirty, all over the place. H had put plates in the dishwasher, left all the heavy stuff for me.
So my son and I went in and finished all the clean up. I had said to H-I thought you were going to do the clean up. His response? I have to work tomorrow. I said have your daughters do it. H remains silent. Son and I did it all.
I asked H why SD17 didn't have to lift a finger with anything? Oh, he said, she's got so much homework to do, she doesn't have time. Ha. I looked at the computer's history. She'd been sitting here on You Tube, on hotmail, not doing homework. It's bullshit.
It's my prayer that by next Thanksgiving, H and the leeches are just an unpleasant memory. Sick of it. Told H I will not be preparing a big Thanksgiving again.
And-probably the most important discussion of all-son and I were talking about me looking for work. H pipes up-there's no reason for her (me) to have a job. Disagreement ensues between H & BS.
After everyone is in bed, H says to me-there's no reason for you to have a job. I said yes, there is. I've always paid my own way in life. H responds with-you just want a job so you can Divorce me. Now, girls, to me, if a man feels his wife wants a job so she can divorce him, that means, inside somewhere, he knows his an a$$hole and she would leave if (which I will) if she can afford to. Ergo, H knows he's a bully, and knows I want out.
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Bewitched you have GOT to be kidding!
I can't understand how some men can be such blazing idiots! I told my H about your post and the only thing he could do was shake his head. Your H and his spawn are taking advantage of you, and he most likely feels he can get away with treating you like this because you are stuck without a job and totally dependent on him. And what's with the "this is mine, that is mine" BS--such juvenile behavior from a grown man.
I did all the cooking and cleaning up yesterday but only because my H is in a cast and hobbling around on crutches...not much he can do to help right now and he told me numerous times how he appreciated everything I did so the two of us could have a nice T-day dinner. I'm afraid your H needs severely beaten with a clue bat.
I hope for your sake you find a good job soon and tell that bugger to bugger off! What kind of work do you do? Heck, I'll help you look for a job!
I've always worked in financial services
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
Most of my experience is in banking (secretary, administrative assistant, teller) or insurance (was a licensed insurance secretary for 5 years). We have 4 banks in town, and unfortunately, due to the economy, they are cutting back, not growing.
But I continue my quest. I submitted an application to Walmart last week. I know its much lower pay than I am accustomed to, but you do what you have to do. Only problem there-I used to date one of the assistant managers. Hope he can overlook our failed personal relationship when he sees my app. Unfortunately, I was the one who ended the relationship, and he was pretty bitter.
Oh, well. Something will open up. I just continue looking.
I'm grateful to you for passing on your husbands reaction. Little things like that confirm to me that H is not your typical man.
Look into medical (receptionist/billing/etc)
With your skills you could easily get into a medical facility. They are always hiring and looking for skilled office workers. Especially one who understands billing and insurance, even if they weren't medical.
I have experience in front office and assisting physicians, and have never had a problem landing a job instantly upon searching for one.
Goodluck! And happy LAST UNhappy Thanksgiving!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Have you ever considered bookeeping?
I bet with your financial background you'd do great at that. I did it for a while for a construction company and I didn't have any actual bookkeeping experience prior to that. It paid pretty good too.
I'm sure
that if his princess had used his phone it would have been okay. But since it was the evil, jealous, hateful, terrible bewitched it wasn't okay.
He's a stupid man. I don't even know him and that judgement may not be fair......but from following your posts:
He's a stupid, stupid man.
You're a great girl. He's going to regret ever losing you. And if he doesn't, he's even stupider than I give him credit for.
My only wish for DH's like this:
Thier wonderful daugthers grow up. Get married, have kids of thier own, and the only thing dear old wonderful daddy can do is sit around and wish that he could see his daughter more often. You know, the daugther that cost him the happiness he would be experiencing right now if he hadn't ruined your marriage. Then one day, many years from now, he'll be on his death bed (not that I wish him dead) and all he'll be able to think about is how alone he is. Because wonderful, beautiful, perfect daugther couldn't be there for him. Wonder if you'll come into his mind then? I wonder if he'll think about the life and the happiness that he wasted.
His kids will eventually give up on making his life hell. Once they realize they've got you out of the picture she'll go on with her own life. What will DH do with the rest of his?
Why doesn't he get it?
Anyways, sorry about the rant......I just hate that this is happening to you. Want to come over and have some left overs and beer? We can get drunk and bitch together!
Beer & a toast-I called him Babe
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
My son, that is. Yep. Wed. evening, we're all in the kitchen (h, bs & me). I intentionally said something to BS & referred to him as "babe". H just about fell over. Looked at me and said "I though I was your "babe". told him I used to think I was his, too. That is obviously SD17, tho. So, my son probably thinks I've gone off my rocker, but he will be babe to me all this weekend.
As a side line-SD17 did not speak to me unless spoken to all day & evening. She came in - asked her "Daddy" if she could use MY computer (of course, I wasn't consulted-but I'm in trouble for using that jerks phone)? And let's see-I cooked turkey, ham, casserole, yam casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, dinner rolls, the works. She certainly stuffed her face. She did not help with anything, as I stated. She slept in the freshly laundered bedding-she played games I bought with her dad & SD13 (bs & I both declined to play with the leeches). Did she even say thank you?
Hell no.
And then H had the nerve to bitch because I didn't make green bean casserole.
Dani, Sarah101, Ferretmom-am I forgetting anyone? All need win the lottery, land a great job prayers!
That's so funny.
I remember one post I commented to you that you should start calling him, your BS, sickining sweet names and just falling all over your feet at him! LOL! I'm actually giggled out loud when I heard that you called him babe and DH almost fell out! LOL!!!!
Later today when you walk by BS say, "Oh my, babe, you sure are getting some muscles under that shirt aren't you?" Your son will probably think you've lost it for good but dear lord it would be funny to see DH's face!
Why does he think you would feel any different when he's pratically falling at SD's feet and worshiping her?
Stupid man.
You should find a picture of your son that is on the hallway wall or something and just decide to move it to the middle of the family room. Just do it and say, wow, that looks so much better there don't you think hun? Of course he couldn't be mad or say anything stupid because you are just rearranging your pictures......maybe you could put his princess picture in the hallway spot! LOL!
This buds for you bewitched }:)
To funny
Matching Christmas shirts. To amusing for words.
Have you tried any temp
Have you tried any temp agencies. I've worked for several and they were great. Sometimes they had more work for me than I could do. I'm waiting to hear from one that I'm registered with but the job won't start until after the first of the year. That's okay though since it pays 15.00 an hour and will last 6mths. It's at HSN and for all the returns they get after the holidays. Look into it, there might be something open in your area. I'm still buying my one ticket a week, the last one got me another 500.00. I hide it from H, it puts me one step closer to independence. Have faith, it will get better.
Love the matchy matchy shirt idea!
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
And no, ferretmom, no temp agencies. We have 4 banks, Walmart, Dollar General. The rest is all tractor dealerships, 3 car dealerships (not doing well). No clothing store. No grocery store.
But I'm trying. And you're right Mustang-never thought of him sabotageing a job search, but he certainly would sink to something that underhanded. Doing returns at HSN sounds kinda fun, actually!
Hey Bewitched
What about looking in a hospital for a job? With your experience you might find something there.
Thanks for making my day
Congratulations Bewitched--I really think your H is a bigger jackass than mine! At least today. My H is too pouty and mopey to be a super jackass today.
And what's more, he likes that I work and earn more than he does--all the more money to give to his adult brats!
Oh well, my jackass may trump yours tomorrow and I can be in the lead again. Can't wait
Hang in there.
Here's the great part, BW
Not ONLY do I teach high school and college, but I ALSO have a part-time job at a huge supermarket (I make FOOD); best of all worlds; I have MORE than MY share of money, but I also don't have to HANG around for disfunction.
Lots of YOUNG, AVAILABLE flirty guys....so I get to come home (sigh) listen to
H whine about how his abs hurt, blah , blah...he's an OLD fart who THINKS he's
young!!
DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! SCREW him and the horse he rode in on!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Hey, Kat-why come back?
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
You know there are schools there-and probably grocery stores too!
Why not just get an interview or two...land that job, tell H to kiss your tanned behind goodbye??? What I wouldn't give...
AWESOME
Hey bewitched, I am sorry for you too, to have to deal with a man who does not respect you. I do not have horror stories of my DH, he is amazing I just have a difficult time dealing with his ex who is a crazy, ugly, self-centered Bit*h, but I do enjoy reading your comments, all of you, you girls don't know it but you help me stay sane. I am glad I am not alone in the whole stepparent thing, it is sooooo hard. My SS is only 4 but there are times he can disrespect me soooo bad I wonder why I even married someone with a kid, but then my DH sticks up for me and smiles at me and then I remember, I love him and the kid came with him. I do love the kid but it is hard sometimes to be soooo nice and loving to have them what their BM to move in my house that I built with my DH, I know he is only 4 but it still hurts and he has no idea how crazy his mom is. I wish for things to get better for you all. As long as I have all of you I thinks I might actually make this whole step thing happen after all, I read it takes 7 years for a step family to click, I guess I have 4 more to go. Well I am only 28 so at least I will be happy when I am 32!!! Thanks again for listening.
Oh ...Hell no!!!
Why does you DH care if you use his "personal" phone??? Is there something on there that he doesn't want you to see??? If my step brat touched my computer I would break her nasty little fingers!!! (She has already broken one of Dh's desktops, his lap top, a mouse, and two key boards..) Maybe next time your step daughter helps herself to your "personal" computer you should help yourself to DH's "personal" phone!! And I would stay on that phone until Step daughter got off the computer.LOL...If your still with "Leech boy" next T giving...Perhaps you should just take yourself and your son out for T giving dinner and let him worry about dinner for him and his "Leechettes"...LOL..
Hugs to you bewitched...
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities.~ digusted
Sorry Bewitched.
I'm so sorry to read that your holiday did not go well. I'm with Mustang on keeping your job search quiet from now on. He does seem like the type that would sabotage your efforts since he has the idea in his head that once you get that job, you will divorce him. Keep looking, I'm sure something will turn up. ((HUGS))