You are here

MILs Say the Darnedest Things

BettyRay's picture

DH and I were at his parent’s house over the weekend. MIL was looking at the photographer proofs from our wedding (we were married in August).

She exclaims in shock, “DH looks so happy!”
I said, “Yes; why wouldn’t he?”
She said, “Well it wasn’t that way the first time around.”

She is a tell it like it is, no-nonsense lady – which I love. I had to laugh; it was just the sweetest compliment.

~BettyRay

Comments

bellacita's picture

i must admit that when i first saw the title, i assumed the worst!! what a pleasant surprise! that was a nice compliment to u and DH that he finally got it rite, eh?!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

BettyRay's picture

The first time I met DH's parents MIL pulled him aside and said "you should have married her instead of BM" I was in ear-shot and heard the whole thing Wink DH just blushed and looked at me.

His parents and mine get along so well. I feel like we have become one big family. Actually, DH's mom and my mom talk to eachother regularly. Although I must confess this freaks me out a little bit.

~BettyRay
________________________________________________________________
"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser

bellacita's picture

a relationship w the in-laws can make life a living hell if they are not supportive, or harbor guilt about the ex. of course, on the flip, like yours, they can also be so wonderful!!! glad youre one of the lucky ones!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Rags's picture

Ladies,

Just because someone is a second spouse does not make them second best. My family loved my Ex until she shed the veneer and her true psycho self came out.

I have been a first spouse twice. Thank goodness I will only have the opportunity to be a last spouse once. Or maybe not at all. My Lovely Bride is 12 years younger than I am so she could very well have a second husband later in life.

My Mother pulled me aside and gave me the "this is a good one and there better not be another" speech when she met my Lovely Bride. Now they are best friends so I am pretty much screwed if I screw this marriage up. I am not worried about it though, my mom threatened my life if my wife leaves and my wifes life if she leaves so both of us are stuck. You do not want to piss off RagsMom. She is 5'2" of fire ball and is truly an amazing lady. RagsPop is not so bad himself. I am a lucky guy, I won the parent lottery, found and married my soul mate, am raising a pretty good kid and I was raised with my best friend (RagsBro). Hey, it's great to be me. At least I think so.

This I know, she will be my last wife and my only soul mate.

Best regards,

NCMilGal's picture

And it very easily could have gone the other way, because DH is her "baby," youngest of seven. She's an older Southern lady (75 yrs old, Louisiana Cajun) and coos about me to others. Along the lines of, "R*** and his pretty little wife are visiting!" Ladies, I'm almost 34 and wear NO makeup ever, plus being military - it's hard for me to think of myself as a pretty little thing.

She tells me how happy DH is, but she's got a little bit of the devil in her too. We're going to visit over Christmas, and pick SD up on the way. She suggested to DH - while giggling madly - that we spend the night on the way at BM's house. (totally because she KNOWS BM would hate it but would have to offer because of her "Christian charity.") After my initial "Tell me she's kidding!" passed, I started wondering who it would bother more, me or BM. I'm certain it would be BM, and MIL knew it.

She's a sweet lady, and I'm glad to be part of her family.

Georgie Girl's picture

That is sweet. :)Consider yourself lucky that you have a good relationship with mil.

Tara12's picture

Of course your DH wasn't happy. HA! Too bad it wasn't said in front of the BM!

smurfy1smile's picture

She loved BM too until she hurt her son. FMIL's words not mine. I know his family loves me and does not judge me. I know they were wigged out about me at first. One brother told my SO not to date someone with kids. Once you are in your 30's those folks are harder to find. My darling SO defended me to his whole family and in the end I think we all won. I have 2 wonderful sisters", great future in laws and a beautiful SS. His other brother could not be too skeptical since his last girlfriend, now wife, moved in with him after like a month of dating and she was 19.

FMIL reminds my SO regularly to thank me for the things I do for him and that he better to grateful and such and that he better not do anything to loose me.

star's picture

I just got married in August as well and when i met my now in-laws I loved them and they felt the same about me, encouraging my DH to move in with me and my children and encouraging us to get married. Then we started having issues about SC. DH has 3 children. oldest 15 refuses to see him unless it is to bring her money or takeout food or to give her a ride when no one else will. 2 younger are 7 and 10, we have them every other weekend and every wed. SD7 is so sweet and kind but is used to sleeping w/BM and not going to bed until 1 or 2 am so she expected to sleep w/us. she cries every night when we make her go to bed and she insists she sleep w/brother. SS10 is often violent, also used to same bed arrangements as sister. at bedtime he fights, screams, kicks walls breaks toys (of course not his own), hits other kids, and we end up fighting most of the night. problem is BM encourages this behavior, actually gives the kids ideas for how they can cause more trouble while they are here. now a certain amount of childhood misbehavior is expected, more so when in this mixed fam situation, but it has come to my attention that he seems to have more than average problems. we have caught him in numerouse lies, sometimes with dangerouse consiquences like when BM had police come to our door claiming kids had called and said dad was beating them. SS came running to the door screaming "my dad is beating me" thankfully SD told cop that it wasn't true. also dangerouse behavior like pushing sister down stairs even when she is defending him, or pushin my 4yr old under water in pool and holding her down. this behavior worries me especially considering he will be fine and sweet and turn in a second seeming to have no remorse for what he does. I love him and worry about him but being the SM when I expressed concern about these things MIL started to turn against me. not obviously but in small subtle ways that my DH doesnt see until I point it out. It doesnt help that MIL have SC sometimes more than we do. we will ask for the kids and are told no but then find out later that they spent the weekend w/MIL.
I'm afraid that this is going to cause seriouse rift in family.