You are here

CS help please

bellacita's picture

my FH just had the final wrap up to the custody bs thats been going on w SD. he had some issues w the parenting plan thats in place, but naturally the judge didnt care. anyway, what struck me is odd was the CS calculation. they have daycare included as part of the calculation, added on top of the normal monthly payment, which is fine for now but she wont be in daycare for much longer. so FH brought that up and said why is daycare included until the age of 18 when she wont be going that whole time? the GAL said that bc BM has to work and cant be home w her, she will need a babysitter. FH said but until 18??? the response? thats just how they do it. does this seem rite to y'all? BM doesnt even work M-F 9-5...she only works one day shift and 2 wkend shifts a wk. why is he responsible for her babysitter? daycare is one thing, but when she goes to work and her roommate stays home w SD, it doesnt seem fair that FH has to pay. does it??

thanks in advance for any comments.

Comments

losingmymind's picture

You have the right to ask for the documentation from the daycare that will be caring for her. Have DH send a letter via certified mail requesting this information. If she does have it to provide it will be counted. Yes, they do annualize it out until they are 18 but you can always have it modified if this changes. PM me if you need more help. Just make sure to tell me what state you are in first.

bellacita's picture

i may ask later once shes not in daycare anymore. we're in missouri by the way. i hate this state.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Gestalt's picture

When the child enters school he should definitely request a modification. Even if the child still needs some care at that point it would be less than half the care she needed previously. What is the geography? Could dad provide the afterschool care?

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."

bellacita's picture

he said she wont be going to daycare much longer and they told him it is still a part of the calculation??? theres no need for afterschool care...the only day they need daycare is fri and either BM or FH picks her up. BM is home every other day w her and theres no need for dayacre. they have to pay for 2 days a wk bc thats the minimum the daycare will accept.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Callie's picture

In our situation the court had DH pay daycare in addition to cs, not included in cs. BM would send us a copy of the bill every month and proof that she paid it in full, and we would send her a check reimbursing her for DH's percentage. This way we weren't just paying a family member or friend and BM was paying a portion too. Once daycare stopped for SD, DH no longer had to pay for this expense and cs just continued on at the same amount. It was easier for us this way so that we didn't have to go back to court to get cs adjusted to reflect this.

bellacita's picture

FH would get a bill and pay his half. then when they went back to court for the modification due to all of BMs lies that were all unfounded, they added it in and garnished his wages. they really treated him like a deadbeat dad when hes anything but.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Gestalt's picture

I'm not sure what the GAL said should be taken as gospel- that is not their area- yes for now- by some weird logic the daycare expense should be included, but at a mod- all numbers get run again- before the hearing dad should subpoena the day care records for attendance, bills and payments.....then let the JUDGE decide.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."

bellacita's picture

this was a follow up. FH asked the GAL outside the court room and that wa sthe response. so FH brought it up again to the judge and the GAL interrupted and said he already went over it...the judge looked at FH like he was a dumbass.

SD is going to daycare now but she wont be after august. why is he expected tp pay til shes 18? the reasons they gave were ridiculous. daycare does not equal a babysitter once she is in school...and why should he have tp pay a babysitter anyway? he pays her plenty a month. just confused why they are keeping it in forever...

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Fed Up And Wiped Out's picture

I don't know where you're from, but here in PA, you have to show receipts to get reimbursed for child care expense. You may want to look into that. If that's the case, when the child is no longer in daycare, your honey should file for a modification of support to get the amount lowered, providing he is making the same money he is now. If he is making more, it might not be worth it, b/c he could end up paying more if he has a significant increase in income or if she has a significant decrease. You just have to weigh the factors. I am a paralegal and deal with these issues all the time. Each state is different however, so you might want to consult an attorney locally if you are not from PA. Either way, usually when you get a decision like that, you get ten days to appeal or request a new hearing, at which time I suggest he definitely get a lawyer to represent him. You'd be surprised at how many thousands you can save by spending a couple hundred on an attorney. It could make a difference in the long run. Finding someone by word of mouth is best. Talk to friends who have hired attorneys for c/s and see what they have to say. Chances are, if a friend was satisfied, you will be too.

All I'm asking...is for a little RESPECT (just a little bit).-The Queen of Soul

bellacita's picture

but now i live in MO Sad
an attorney is not an option...we shouldve gotten one thruout this whole ordeal but could not afford it. dont know anyone who had to have an attorney either. i think the courts are just misleading him bc they are so pro-BM...honestly. i think the GAL should have told him to modify once shes out of daycare but he didnt. from everything ive read, daycare is added to the monthly order when shes IN daycare ONLY...theres no mention of babysitting. work related child care costs does not include having yr family babysit and making money off it. im so sick of the NCPs getting screwed and the awful BMs winning just bc they have a uterus. GRRRRR.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

bellacita's picture

she doesnt plan on having her in daycare once she starts school. when FH asked the GAL he said if shes working she will need some kind of sitter so that will take the place of daycare. WTF??? since when is the NCP respopnsible for babysitting?? she only works and needs daycare one freaking day a week. and her family watches SD the rest of the time...so where is that money gonna go once shes done w daycare, presumably in the fall?

just another example of FH getting screwed bc he couldnt afford legal representation. i think its supposed to be on the calculation but they didnt tell him that once shes out of daycare he should file the modifcation. too bad for BM that we will hopefully have a baby next year and need to modify anyway!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

bellacita's picture

health insurance will go til the kids 18, daycare wont so why is it included until 18?
something doesnt seem rite...

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

bellacita's picture

i think exactly what u said and they just didnt tell FH that. there would be a change bc daycare would go away, ya know? like i said, we are planning to have a baby w/in the next year and if all goes well, we will be modifying then anyway. i just dont like how they lied and told FH he would be responsible for the amount bc after shes done w daycare, the amount will be used for babysitting while she works. she will be in school while BM is at work, and when she is her family watches her. BM doesnt have a M-F job, she is home all day.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

bellacita's picture

daycare cost is over 20% so when that goes away i would think we'll be able to do it. either way, hopefully we'll have a baby and need to do it anyway. thanks for the help!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Gestalt's picture

This may be a bit mean however, right is right, if mom is claiming this child care expense, the "babysitter" would only need to make about $12 per week to hit the IRS guideline for reportable income.....does this "babysitter" report her income? If dad is having to reimburse for daycare, I would think he has some ground to stand on in asking for certification (or proof of), CPR training (or proof of) etc- you know...all the things a reputable daycare provider woulnd't think of not having.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love."

bellacita's picture

look, rite now she is in daycare. she will be going to school soon and no longer need daycare. BM isnt claiming she will need money for a babysitter, that is just the excuse the GAL gave. which is bullshit. it is her family who watches her while she is at work in the evenings. at any rate, why should he be paying the amount charged by the daycare when the daycare is no longer getting those services??????? the GAl said that daycare is left on forever, but i think what he didnt tell him is that there needs to be a modification once shes done w daycare.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

losingmymind's picture

do you have a hearing yet? Either way...what papers do you have together yet? You have the documentation via school calender to show a judge that she will no longer need daycare. That is proff number one. No matter what the GAL says that can not be disputed when it is presented that way. Are you close to KC MO?? Is so PM me. I have a name for you. If not just don't post anything on your location. I don't want you to post something like that out in the open.