u all know i NEVER complain at ALL about my SS15, the one FH has custody of. i think hes a great, respectful, well-mannered kid...i really do. that being said, he really pissed me off yesterday and i flipped out on him...

he has been getting that teenager attitude slowly for awhile now that is typical of any 15 yr old, in my opinion. u know, the im always rite, always an excuse, i never do anything wrong, etc. he has been doing this alot lately w FH and i just sit there and hold my tongue bc hes not my kid and if FH wants to let him talk to him like that, well then what am I gonna do. FH handles his kids w "kid gloves" bc after the divorce when he took custody, he was raising them on his own and made to look like the bad guy by SS20 while BM, when she started to see them again, was the fun parent who they visited. FH tried to teach SS20 how to be an adult and SS resented him for awhile until he really got on his own and realized what FH was doing, but until then, the relationship suffered. so i know FH doesnt want that to happen w SS15.

yesterday, it came to a head. my doggie obviously is home alone during the day. SS gets home around noon from an extra class he is taking at school. i cannot tell u how many times i have come home hours later to my dog's empty water bowl. maybe this is not a big deal to most but this dog is my BABY and i expect her to be taken care of at home in my absence. and she is not high maintenance...she is a boxer...all she needs is water, and to go outside to pee. THATS IT. i feed her at nite when i get home and play w her. granted, my SS didnt ask for a dog, i brought her, but he plays w her and takes care of her fine and its everyone's responsibility to do this.

so i get home, no water. now ive let it slide SOOOO many times bc a) SS is a good kid in general, b) i dont want to yell at him, and c) i dont want him to hate me. yesterday, id had enough...

i walk in and he is doing dishes, so hes RITE THERE by her water bowl and just was too lazy or apathetic to check on it.

me: the dog doesnt have any water?
SS reaches for the bowl to fill it, i say i'll get it (nice calm tones).
bella starts to drink a TON of water which make sme wonder if she'd had water all day.
me: did she have any water today??
SS: yeah, she drank it all. (smart ass tone)
i dont say anything and walk away and roll my eyes (bc thats beside the point, it needed refilled if thats the case but i dont believe him anyway) and i can hear him mutter under his breath so i come back out and say what did u say?
SS: well dont get mad at me. i gave her water.
me: the dog doesnt have any water!!
he procceds to make excuses and give me lip. u cannot tell him anything w/o him defending himself. so im yelling now bc im pissed the dog had no water and when i say something to him very calmly about it he makes excuses instead of just shutting up or saying sorry. so i tell him that when i am talking to him, stop talking back!! he keeps going, and i keep going. finally, my voice is very raised and i say "when adults are telling u something, dont talk back!!"
he goes downstairs.

so i told FH about all this and i said u know, i listen to him talk like that to u and i dont say anything and how many times has this happened and ive let it go and the ONE time i say something, he gives me attitude!! and i didnt yell at him until he started giving me the attitude and talking back. FH agrees and says i have every rite to be yelling about the water, let alone the back talking and he has been meaning to talk to SS about his attitude. what?! meaning to talk to him??? bc theres no time when we're home all nite from 6 until 10 when he goes to bed?? grrrrr.

so now hes gonna say something and im gonna be the bad guy, ya know? i just dont think that kids should talk to adults that way...if u get in trouble for something (and he wasnt even in trouble for it) just sit there and DONT make excuses and dont get mad at me. then he said dont yell at me. im thinking "grow up!"

maybe of u probably think this is one more example of how parents tend to be lenient w children of divroce and blah blah but this is how my FH is...hes just kinda a softie. i think he should be a bit stricter but its just not his nature. im thankful that i DONT have problems w my SS in general and that he is a good kid. every nite he thanks me for dinner, thanks us for driving him to his guitar lessons etc...and i know THATS rare and its bc of FH that he is so respectful. did i overreact??? i just was taught that u dont talk back to adults when youve done something wrong and it just infuriates me when he gets that attitude that he didnt do anything wrong and im an idiot. i kinda feel like kids today are growing up w a lack of respect for adults and a lack of manners and i guess sinec SS is so NOT that way, now that hes getting that a bit its frustrating.