court update

so we went to mediation settlement hearing today. my FH was not agreeing to the parenting plan they came up w in mediation bc the day after BM accused his son of molesting the little girl. FH decided that he was gonna give up custody bc BM has put us thru so much and he didnt want to go thru this anymore, and he was afraid of what she might accuse us of next. so we went to court, FH gave BMs lawyer the "settlement"...him waiving visitation for now, giving her full legal custody and proposed the maximum amount of CS he would be paying her plus daycare expenses. BM agreed, but the judge didnt and he wouldnt let him give up custody bc "its not in the best interest of SD". so they appointed a GAL for SD and now everyone, including my SS, has to be interviewed. and then they will put SS on the stand and he has to defend himself to the court. the burden will be on BM to prove. but no one cares about SS, and what it may do to him to have to say no i didnt molest my sister. no one cares about all the harassment and abuse we have been thru at the hands of the BM. they only care about SD, while i understand thats their job, its just not fair. the GAL talked to FH and i and told us that it doesnt matter what BM does, and she can do whatever, we have to put up w it bc he had a kid w her (not by choice, but by trickery, mind u) and even if our lives are miserable and disrupted, it doesnt matter bc thats what we have to do for SD. so im very bitter rite now. i dont appreciate anyone telling me that i should suck it up and endure all i have at the hands of the BM, including being accused of abuse myself, and take it for another womans kid. and i dont think SS should have to defend himself in court bc of this lying witch and her phony accusations. i dont understand how they can not let him make a personal decision to not see SD based on wanting to have a peaceful life free form constant harassment and allegations of abuse. and i dont know what will happen next...obv they will find that BM is lying and we are doing nothing wrong and then what? what kind of custody/visitation will the judge impose then?

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You don't HAVE to put up with BM.

But she and SD are part of FH's package, and that will never change. Is that something you can live with, should you decide to change him from a FH to a DH?

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

I believe that if the court determines BM was lying about SS

Then she will be in major trouble. I know that the courts heavily penalize people who make false allegations about parents sexually or physically abusing the kids. But if SS is a minor and BM pulled this? I think the judge will be even more harsh. We're talking jail time. I would sue her for slander as well.

Anything your lawyer can think of.

This is doing so much damage to both of these kids.

“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks

thats what im afraid of

we dont have a lawyer bc we cant afford one but im gonna look into it here in our state and see if we can get some help and sue her. the thing that makes me mad is that the GAL didnt care at all about my ss, and i understand his job is to protect sd but hes a minor too and he shouldnt have to be put on the stand to defend himslef...court is scary and intimidating enough for adults! and the GAL didnt say anything about any consequences for BM, just that what she says doesnt matter if its not true.
as far as putting up w BM and SD, i dont have a problem w that if she would be NORMAL and stop doing the stuff she has done. we ALL have been thru hell at her hands and whether im here or not, that needs to stop. but it seems like unless we go in debt to get a lawyer, no one in the court system cares.

I totally agree

with Steve - request a GAL for your SS. As far as consequences for the BM - I hate to say it but don't hold your breath. My SD's BM made some heinous accusations against DH - including accusing him of sexual abuse. After getting all the reports from the professionals stating that it was a custody case and she was 'looking for things that weren't there' I went through all her 'evidence' with a fine tooth comb and found areas that had been doctored and places where pages were missing from the reports. We produced all this in court and all she got was an admonishment from the judge that accusations like those were never to be made again, and that prior accusations were not to be brought up again in future hearings. That was it - ridiculous. She came frighteningly close to completely ruining DH's life and all she got was a talking to..... Yeah, I'm still pretty disgusted/bitter about it.

thats what i was thinking

a GAL for SS...thank u all for the advice. and B im so sorry y'all had to go thru at the hands of a vindictive BM...i feel ya. i think its bs that SS has to be interviewed when he did nothing worng and only bc BM is vindictive

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