I would yank her out.
we have those instincts for a reason.

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

you could do like one mother in the paper did- put a tape recorder in her daughter's book bag to find out what is happening.
I would say go with what your gut says- mother's gut feelings are usually a good sign.
good luck

You can't afford to second guess yourself here, because your daughter is not old enough to tell you what's going on. So I say, if you don't feel something is right, then you have to follow your gut.

My mom worked in a daycare/preschool for 4 or five years. She loved it. And they did not EVER address parents this way. They had very little problems in the toddler room, with the exception of biting which happens at every facility at one time or another. Now of course I was more comfortable putting my son there at 18 mos because well...GRANDMA worked there!

BUT...I took the things I learned there to know what to look for in the next daycare I used (sadly hers closed down due to money issues.) It was such a good daycare that the parents offered to pay more to keep it open, but they just couldn't swing it.)

My kids went later to a Christian daycare run out of a newer church. I didn't agree with the religious ed, but figured I could balance it out. Occasionally I heard things about religious ed that concerned me too, but I just talked to the kids about how they only needed to respect the chapel time, not believe everything they heard.

So I guess there's always compromise. BUT...on my third toddler now and I think you are right to be offended. As I said, even when toddlers bit or pushed another kid at my mom's daycare, there was an incident report and discussion with the parents, suggestions even on how to work on the issue at home IF asked.

AND...let me tell you. There were some parents there who left their children from the time the daycare opened at 6 am (the kids would come in their pjs and have breakfast there) to 6 pm when it closed. EVERY day. And one mom I remember my mom being upset about did this though she only worked a four- six hour shift and was done by 3 pm. STILL left her daughter there til 6 every day.

So this person is inappropriate. Period. I would find another place asap.

Oh and my DH doesn't get to handle many phone calls because he never remembers important points that we've discussed. Actually, last night he suggested he call the school to talk to the guidance counselor, to let her know SD told us, what she told us to make sure she didn't "selectively" tell us the issue, thank the guidance counselor for her help, let her know that SD was in counseling and going on Wed, AND let her know to feel free to call us if she has any more concerns.

Do you think he got around to that? Do you think if he did, he will remember to say all of that?

Ummmm....haven't asked yet. But I know come Monday it will be ME making that call. I do get irritated at times, but I guess we are just more thorough with this stuff, and not as easily pacified with a resolution just for resolution's sake. Maybe that's why they married us

Peace, love, and red wine

Kathleen, your a great parent. Instincts are there for a reason - trust them. Just the one comment about your not being around as a mother is enough for me to say remove her. Even if you were a 60 hour a week mega worker it's not the daycare's place to comment like that. They have jobs because of working parents! They are supposed to teach and mold our children. All kids at 2 are a little disruptive - "terrible two's are titled that for a reason" It sounds like they aren't in control which is a bad sign. Caring, enduring "teacher" type workers wouldn't act or say such things. Good luck to you. BTW I think all men are passive about things like this - I know mine is

was immature (he was 6) and all that was wrong with him was because I was divorced. Then she said that he wasn't a good canidate for their charter school. I started to cry and she told me they were God's tears. I told her to go to hell and reinrolled my son in public school the next day.

Come to find out, my son had a learning disability. His new teacher was so disgruntled about the whole ordeal, she filed a grievance with the district about the teacher.

I say let her have it. I'd rip someone a new arse if they told me my two year old was rude. Not only that, I'm a working mom as well and until she wants to contribute to your household monetarily, she can shut the hell up about what kind of mom you are.

Now you got me pissed. What's her phone number? I'll call her.... }:)

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

That is a pretty good sized baby. I always tell my girls I want to keep them around for a while because I worked so hard to get them here in the first place. But not THAT hard!

maybe this "teacher" and I use that term loosely- is just so full of hate/jealousy cuz your daughter is so cute and you are a good mom, sometimes people say things to others to upset them just so they can feel better about themselves.
so think of her as a martian and all her words are )*)&^*%$##&%*() Nanew nanew..
believe in yourself and in your instincts.

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

then write a letter to her boss/board of directors - it is not her place to comment or rebuke the paying customers! If there were no working mothers she would be out of business, ding dong!

Who cares what she thinks about anything! I would definitely formally complain (after your BD is safely somewhere else)! meanwhile just try to ignore her if you can.

I do kind of see your DH's point that now it has been mentioned they will probably not do it any more, but still, the damage is done! . . . is there nowhere that doesn't have a waiting list?

CG I am p.o.'d about yours too - God's tears? give me a break-!!

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

Find another place for your daughter. If not in a school type setting, try a family daycare. I have been using the same one for 14 plus years and we love her and her family. Another option, if you live near a college, try to get a college student going to school for elementary ed or any child related field to come to your home and take care of your daughter. I did this when my son was little and he thrived on the one on one attention. I still speak to this woman to this day and she is married with 4 children.

I agree 2 year olds are not rude. They don't have the common sense to know what is rude and what is not. They say stuff that can be very sensible one minute and the next its out of this world. Its a part of their development. If your daughter hates the place, its a red flag.

Good luck on your search.

for her to go...it doesn't sound like a healthy enviorment for her. 2 year olds aren't rude, they don't know any better at that age.

Been doing some thinking on this....continue to look for another placement for your daughter & remove her ASAP when you find a place suitable.

I would also take the advice of others posted on here. First being, put a tape recorder in her bag that no one can see as having her day recorded may not be a bad thing in the long run. Who knows what else could be taking place in this environment for the other children as well. Secondly; write a letter to the board stating exactly what was said to you by the teacher and what your daughter is repeating at home. These are issues that should not be left alone, but addressed by someone at the top. Make the letter point blank that you are expecting an investigation immediately & you would like their plan of action in correcting the situation in writing. As you will only accept written correspondence in regards to these issues for future reference. That will save a "he said, she said" thing from happening. This will also make them stand up and figure something out quickly.....having something in writing is concrete, whereas verbal litterally means squat.

I would not invite this teacher to lunch, nor engage her in friendly chit chat. She has made it clear what her opinion of you as a mother is. Keep this relationship on a business level...the damage has already been done. She is no better then some of the BM's we have to deal with on this site.

I would also not have hubby call again....just from personal experience here!! If your man is like mine, he can not remember all details that are to be discussed & does not keep on track....especially if the woman is sweet to him on the phone...his mind goes blank and he agree's with everything they say...not in the best interest of you nor your child. Then hubby says, "well, I did't mean for it to come out that way!" Sorry guys...I just chalk this up as being a man thing!!

Let us know how you make out with this.

Corie

Moms have these built-in instincts for a reason. Dads have their own special set of instincts and qualities, but Moms are not Dads and Dads are not Moms. Go with your gut. What's the worse that could happen? She's not happy there and whether they are doing anything "wrong" doesn't matter. There are about a million different ways to be right. Find the right situation for your child. This one isn't it.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

I have a 3 year old and you know how many times I have to say something for him to remember it and repeat it LATER? Now we all know that if you say something they will say it right back...but for your daughter to remember it and say it later and kind of in a context that she would think is right....Wow. I am a teacher and I have seen it all...YOU ARE NOT WRONG...I would get her out of there. About 2 months ago Dr. Phill had 5 Moms of autisic children on the show. These children could not talk and tell their parents what was going on so they threw fits everytime it was time to go to school....huge fits...red flag..The teacher was beating them. I think that your daughter would tell you if she got hurt physically, but she is not going to understand being emotionally hurt.....That teacher needs to go bye bye. And just so you know, in my state they do not have to have a Teacher Certification to work at a daycare. Just something to think about, of course you do not need a degree to love and teach kids......Your gut is right!

but 2.5 years old is MUCH TOOOOOOO YOUNG for a full time preschool. Is there any way you can get child care in your home? Your child isn't adapting well because she is too young to be in that type of school.

think she is to personally attack your character as a Mother?? or to ASSume that you don't "spend enough time around your daughter as a Mother"?? That seems like a personal attack and to say the least...VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!
Pull your daughter out and find a BETTER school.
As for DH....men don't handle emotional situations well....easier for them to be passive and bury their heads in the sand.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"

she is using the Spanish subjunctive form! Although it is slang---but nonetheless the subjunctive!!!!

I think that you and your daughter will be much happier with the nanny. I was a working mom & I know what you are going thru. Good luck.

There is absolutely no way u are going to feel comfortable leaving your child in here care, first step has already been done. She's two , what will it be at three? I would defenanetly had said something like two year olds are spongess, they obsorb everything, speech pattern, behavior, ECT. Rudenudess being imitated by this place and I will not subject her to this type of behavior.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!