Ok, I'm convinced
Alright guys.... I cried and guess what? I'm still alive. No one saw me, so that's good. (lol)
Anyways, I just wanted to say that now that I have completely gone off the deep end in here, I feel like I can't leave. You all have seen my ass so to speak, how could I leave?
I want you all to know that usually I am very very down to earth, and easy to talk to, and usually I can see the sunshine behind the clouds. But when I do breakdown, I do it hard. Everyone becomes a threat and everything becomes an obstacle. I will kick punch yell and throw things to get past it if I have to, because that's how I've always been. I just take it and take it and take it and take it until theres no more room for even one more comment, one more look, one more anything...
I know that's not the right way to do things and I'm really trying to learn how to stop that, but I'm just now starting. I'm still pretty young, I'm 28. But in my 28 years... well ...
I've been on my own since 14. I've had 4 stepmoms, 3 stepdads, I'm in the process of divorcing someone who treated me like shit on shoes... and I'm in a relationship with a man who I really love deeply, and he also has a daughter and a BM who won't let go. So now I'm in competition. He never makes me feel that way, but I'm a woman, and come on ladies, when another woman wants your man, even if she had him first, it's competition. The last one that "competed" with me, well... she won.
So, I guess the point of this is to tell you all that I appreciate you, your situations, your advice, your help, your honesty, and everything else that comes along with it. I mean, you must be good people to spend time here giving advice to others who need help, even if it is in exchange for help of your own.
I sincerely apologize to everyone for the way I spoke to CG. I hope none of you think less of me for it. That was a rare outburst (reserved usually for people who really get on my bad side, and that was actually kind of toned down, I was scared the post wouldnt make it before getting deleted by admin lol hey I tell on myself when called for 
) and she really didn't even deserve it. I faulted her for not getting to know me or what I was trying to say, when I could have easily responded by asking her what made her think those things of me so I could explain it better. Anyways, not to get off topic here. Thank you for the support, and if you'll still have my crazy ass around, I'd like to stay.
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Comments
Im so happy you decided to
Im so happy you decided to stay!!
We all have days like this and we all deal with stress and our emotions differently.. hopefully now that you have this site you can vent to us and not keep it in and let it build up.. I know that I do that too but lately since I have been able to rant rave and bitch on here and know that people out there know what Im talking about makes me feel so much better.
"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-Joshua J. Marine
Good...
I'm glad you're staying.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Tantrums
"...I've had my share, but then again, to few to mention...."
Oh wait, no, that line of the song was about regrets, not tantrums. Come to think of it, I've got plenty of regrets and I've thrown quite a few tantrums
All I can say, is, Honey, I've been in your shoes. 28 is a tough age, or at least it was for me.
Please do stick around.
What you are trying to do here with your current boyfriend is very, very, very tough. After a lifetime of hard breaks, might do well to sit back, take a break, and work on getting yourself together before figuring out all this stuff out with the DF/BM/SK.
I am routing for you, whatever you choose to do. Try to find more resources to help you get past your painful unbringing.
As for me -- headed to the shrink first thing in the AM to get some anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drugs. Couldn't hurt!
all good
I'm glad you decided to stay...I've had my share of meltdowns
what the . . .
Ok I am all caught up now and completely jealous you guys can read/write at work. Our computers are monitored and you can get fired for using them for personal use, so I have to wait til I get home.
re. posts . . . I remember when I wrote my first post, it was Anonymous, but a couple people responded and I was so excited. Sometimes they didn't get a response and I would wonder if I had said something wrong. So sometimes I answer a post that no one has answered, so that person doesn't feel so lonely and like no one cares, even if I say something stupid, but just cause I remember how I felt at first.
I do skip them if I don't have anything I feel to contribute, or it is about being a BMs or something I do not relate to or feel qualified for. Around the holidays there were so many I could not keep up, and lately I may have missed a few, but I think we all need this place we can vent.
Warning, I have pms . . .what if we all got on that at the same time-! the horror-!!!!!
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
Most Evil...
"So sometimes I answer a post that no one has answered, so that person doesn't feel so lonely and like no one cares.."
You have such a good heart.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
aw shucks
I was impressed with how you kept sharing the love today . . . ! that would have been tough for me, but you really represented!!
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
Thank you so much...
but you probably just caught me on a good day...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I enjoy coming here so I can
I enjoy coming here so I can vent as well. BTW Monica, we are exactly the same age. I never expected to meet a wonderful guy and become a stepmom to two schoolage children...this was not exactly what I dreamed about. I learn a lot here and I am thankful that I can vent here as well. Sometimes I can go overboard with bitches about the BM but it all depends on the day I have and what bullshit she throws our way. I am hopeful that as the years pass, I will learn not to let her ruin my day with her crappy comments and manipulation games with the kids.
I try not to take anything personal here too. I am not overly sensitive and usually take comments as a new way to look at my situation. I especially love the humor. Afterall, it's easier to laugh about the drama sometimes b/c you know it is not going to go away.
Listen, can you hear it?
Wind Beneath my Wings - Beaches/Bette Midler ---- Yall are so great, I want a tissue!!!!!!! Do yall notice that I am very new, and am charming in here like I have known yall for years. This site is so awesome, I always thought I would write a book about stepparrenting, you know a step by step manual, but I truely don't know squat!!!!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Ok stepwitch.....
We are all envious of the peace in your home but now the wind beneath your wings??!!! How can you be entitled to both in one week? Like WTH?!!! LOL Come on girl, share it with the rest of us!
It was all your fault, Cori !
Your private messages really helped me, you are awesome. I am feeling a tad tearful right now - tearful that I'm not dealing with SD Shitola! I have spent alot of time here in the forum today, getting to know new people & thier personalities, and had lots of laughs. We Put SD in a truck and drove off a cliff, then we started a convoy, and BREAKER/BREAKER (LOL), even sang that Convoy song! But the very best thing today, was and I have no idea where it came from was when I posted "life is a bitch, then you marry a man who has one"!! LOLOLOL
Cori, Thank you again, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
sanity
if we were all sane and well adjusted we wouldnt be here!!! I am so glad you decided to stay Monica! I enjoy this site and I feel I belong here, I hope I can make someone else feel that way!
"insert some goofy happy song here"
SuperWoman
by Alicia Keys...."I am SuperWoman, with an S on my chest under my vest....."
Now THERE'S a theme song...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Yay
Great to hear that girl!
wake me up
I was kinda of thinking of that Wham song wake me up before you go go...when I wrote that!! ok ok I am a closet 80's music lover..
so shoot me!
Good for you Monica
I am glad you decided to stay. Stay strong!
~Evil
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius
I have many times had
I have many times had outbursts and blown up on people, when usually I'm very quiet and nice. Totally understand.
And about the competition, I understand how that is, too.
Everyone says that having confidence in oneself is the most attractive attribute. I'm guilty of comparing myself to his ex and feeling that I come up short, but try not to.
Having had your life screwed up by people and circumstances that are not your fault is hard, but being the rare person who can rise above it and be successful is really admirable.
nicely said
hats off to you chava!!
To all of you
I wish I had time to respond to all of you, but today, I really DONT have the time for it lol. But wow, I appreciate everything you guys said. It really does feel like we should all get in a convertible and drive off a cliff holding hands dont it?
Anyways, thank you guys for helping me pry my foot out of my mouth. You are all strong amazing women and I'm so glad to have found you.
"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
- Paul Newman
we are here for ya
respond to us when you can...I know I am not going anywhere anytime soon!!
If we all drive off the cliff can we put my SD in the truck?
LOL!!! Did I say that out loud?
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
can my SS go with??
he is an unlicensed driver and I am sure he will be drunk too!!
Keep the Steps Send the Crazy BM's
Make it a big bus and we'll keep our SKids and put all the CRAZY BM'S on the bus headed toward the cliff }:-)
Oh..
let mine drive!!!!!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
we all live in a yellow submarine!
no no we would miss you...get my FS to do it, he is always looking for a reason to drive!!
No...
I want "my" BM to drive.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
dang it ok..
wanna flip for it?
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I call Heads...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
DID I START SOMETHING - TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL !
I have an idea, lets start a convoy. 100 semi trucks with full capacity in the trailer and lets hit the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lets take them all !
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
thatz a big 10-4 teddy bear
how will we to Australia???
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
LOL
BREAKER BREAKER 1-9 *cshhh static* WHATS YUR 20?
great, thanks ladies I'm gonna be singing that damn convoy song in my head all day. And I work for a trucking company. lmao boss is gonna think I'm sippin somethin other than coffee over here
"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
- Paul Newman
Monica - sorry we got off track here, I want you to know..
I don't feel sorry for you at all, as a matter of fact, I think you are a survior!! Being on your own since 14, you must be a strong person with a strong personality. Alot of 14yo cant find thier ass from a hole in the ground. My 18yo SD still cant make decisions for herself, she tends to follow BM bad-bad advise. Whatever. Hang in there!
You rock!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Thank you witchy
xoxox
Isnt it funny how woman usually dont get along because of the cattiness and all, but when you really need someone, its another woman you reach out to. This site makes me realize how badly I need that understanding. I am so so happy for all of us that this site is available. Now get your asses back in the truck before the DH's figure out whats up! LOL
"It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."
- Paul Newman
ILOL
I wasn't gonna mention the "convoy song", but since you did you and your not even 30 yet, I can admit it now !! LOL
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
ugh did I just give my age away
I just dated myself!!!!!
sorry you will be stuck singing that song but so will i!!!!
put your pedal to the medal..
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
we all have our moments
and if we cannot let it go here , where can we? Of course at times there boundaries people should amke for themselves but the whole reason we are here is to vent and then still be accepted and soem times the venting is toward a vent which is all part of it, at end of the day we are all trying to make our lives and the lives of those we love better and it is probably easier for us to do it together!
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard
we all have our moments
and if we cannot let it go here , where can we? Of course at times there boundaries people should amke for themselves but the whole reason we are here is to vent and then still be accepted and soem times the venting is toward a vent which is all part of it, at end of the day we are all trying to make our lives and the lives of those we love better and it is probably easier for us to do it together!
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard