update on the ADHD blog I posted
My BD was diagnosed with ADHD combined and Oppositinal Defiant Disorder earlier last month. We met her psychiatrist today He only works with kids which is good...I got the impression he wasn't a pill pusher which is good! He said he doesn't like overmedicating kids. He did put her on something that should help her in school. He said I only have to give it to her on school days if I want to..which is what I'll probably do. The ODD is going to have to be worked on in therapy which is fine with me. I don't want medication to be a cureall for this. I want her to grow up learning that she will be able to control these conditions without meds someday. But for the time being I am going to have her take them. It's taken me 2 years for someone to finally listen to me about what is going on with her and it was always, "You don't have limits and rules" or "wait till the teacher says something" So I'm glad and I hope this helps her Just thought I would update you guys
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Great news!
My SS is also ADHD with ODD. (And a few other things.) One way I found of easing his frustration and eliminating the upset that goes along with it is to break things down for him in small chunks. I don't say, for example, "Go clean up your room." I say, "Please put the toys in the toy box." When he's done with that, I then say, "Now put the crayons in the crayon box." Then we move on to, "Please put the dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket." Breaking one task - cleaning the room - down into several smaller tasks makes it easier for him to grasp what exactly needs done and gives him more chances for success. For behavior things, I don't admonish him by telling him to "behave" or to "be good." It's too vague for him to understand. I give him specifics. This is where his mother and I disagree, though. She thinks he's not capable, so she lets him off the hook for a lot of things. I know he's capable if I just give it to him in quantities he can handle and am specific enough for him to grasp. Now that you know what's what, you'll find all sorts of methods you can try and if one doesn't work, try something else. You'll find an approach that works in time.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
ODD/ADHD
It may be a long road ahead of you. I am surprised at the high number of kids I see anymore with ADHD and ODD. Yes, medicating your child is never a fun alternative but it can allow them some breathing room. I had lunch with a lady earlier this week. Her seventeen year old son has had ADHD for over ten years now. She was adamant about her beleifs that the parents who didn't recognize the children's needs were doing a disservice to their children. A sentiment I was so glad to hear after this last year. A friend of mine has a son who has been diagnosed wtih ADHD/OCD and bi polar. They have had a rough 21 years. Yet overall I never hear him saying "I wish we hadn't adopted him." Yeah, they adopted him when he was an infant and have dealt with so muchin his life...
I have to believe there is a special place in heaven for the parents who put their child's best interest first. Just as I wonder about the parents who refuse to do anything where they might be going in the afterlife. Yes, its so hard to recognize our children are not perfect, but isn't our job as parents to help our children learn to deal with life? Life is not always perfect so we need to teach them to deal with the good and the bad...
Kevin
My bd is add
and I am happy to say she is a great kid and a great student. She was on meds for three years in combination with behavior modification techniques. Specifics, as Anne mentioned, are the way to go. Luckily, my bd had a wonderful doctor and great and understanding teachers who were willing to cooperate with me. She has not had to take the medication for the last two years and is doing fine. At times, she can be a bit impulsive and loud, but it is all very managable. I think you just have to find a good support system, a good plan of success and the right doctor.
Don't give up!
Georgie
What are the signs
of ODD? I mean, I have looked it up on the internet, but what I find is vague. I have mentioned it to SD's therapist and was told it was a possibility but that a psychiatrist would have to diagnose her. Waiting for that appointment now.... Just was wondering if you could give me some insight as to what triggered it for you that you knew ODD and ADHD was the cause. We tried Focixon (sp?) and Adderall and they did not work. We are at a loss.
Thanks for the info...
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
ODD
This might be a possibility for Madi, maybe along with some other things. She can be totally sweet and loving, right? Sometimes she'll be a perfect angel and do exactly what you want her to do, but other times she'll flat out go her own way or at least deviate from what you want her to do just enough to get your dander up. Sometimes she is just completely, utterly and openly defiant, correct? That's kind of how it was with my SS when he was smaller. He had a hard time dealing with the stress of not being in control. He truly is the most loving, most affectionate kid. You would never know that he was kicked out of preschool for being too violent and not doing what the teachers told him to do. He was evaluated by a whole host of child psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. and they diagnosed him with ADHD, PDD and ODD. He's been on meds for years. Nowadays, the defiance is less volatile than what you describe with Madison. He doesn't really have violent, lashing out tantrums or anything like that anymore, he just quietly and invisibly goes his own way, does what he wants to do and cannot seem to make himself do what is asked. He's not mean or angry about it anymore, just insistent. Remember when Tiffany took her first steps and then started walking? How you'd have to steer her away from dangerous things, how she'd keep wanting to go right back to them? It's kind of like that with SS. He needs lots of redirection. It can be exhausting. The meds he's been on are really scary. At one point he had to be put on the same kind of patch addicts use for withdrawal. I think now he's just on Adderall and an anti-depressant.
Along with the psychiatrist, have you thought about taking her to a pediatric neurologist? My SS12 and SD15 are both followed by a pediatric neurologist.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
my daughter
is bossy at times with her peers and SS, she constantly argues about things, she will flat out tell me no when she doesnt want to do something...just doesn't get violent with me but she has whiney temper tantrums, but she will haul off and belt SS if he pisses her off about something...believe me none of this goes unpunished which is why I'm so tired of dealing with all of this...the psychiatrist said it's kinda like these kids never grow out of their "terrible two" stage...which is exactly what it looks like to me. But the psychologist told me these kids will make great lawyers cause they love to argue! LOL...They put her on Focalin today..so I'll start her on it tomorrow morning and see what happens
Thank you
I am thinking that this may be it!!! I would hate for something to be wrong like this, but it would be a godsend for someone to tell me that it is her brain making her lash out at us and not a htred for us. Gonna make some calls in the morning. Thanks ladies
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
It's so not hatred, honey.
Whether it's a chemicaly problem or a psychological one, it's definitely not a problem of simply hating you. Children are like sponges... they are constantly soaking up everything around them. It's good. That's what they are supposed to do. But when you have a kid that has soaked up so much ugliness and stress, well, what happens when that sponge becomes saturated? It won't soak up anymore and then the stuff it's supposed to just absorb comes leaking out. It may or may not be ODD with Madison, but it's SOMETHING. You just haven't hit on the right diagnosis and treatment for it, yet. But you will!
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook