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BM Wont Stop hurting my babies

luvlady's picture

Submitted by luvlady on Mon, 11/12/2007 - 8:31am

My children, (I always call them my children, because I've had them for over half of their lives.)Wanted to go see BM after church yesterday, so I called her and told her they wanted to come see her. In her oh so sleepy voice, she said they can come by for a MINUTE. Then explained to me how their little brother was not there as if I said they wanted to just come by to see him. I politely made a uturn, we went home and had a cookout. She never even called to see what happened. She does this all the time to them. I just want her to relinquish her rights and go far away. The look on their face hurt so bad, but how do you play that one off? Am I wrong?

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goingcrazy's picture

Submitted by goingcrazy on Mon, 11/12/2007 - 10:42am

I am in the same situation. My SD's therapist said that honesty (although sugar coated in some way) is the best policy. My SD's mom is in prison and has been for a year (prior to that she was out for 6 months from a previous extended stay and Holiday Inn for Women). We have been honest with her about where her mom is and why she is there. We never say anything bad about BM. That is something SD will have to decide on her own as she grows. It kills me to see the pain in her face. I just comfort her and reassure her that I am here for her and my love is uncoditiona and not going away.

BM would go through spurts of calling and writing. That would last a few weeks, then we would go months without hearing from her. The instabilty and rejection is so much worse that just not having a BM in the picture. If you figure out a way to get a worthless BM to give up rights, let me know. I am trying for the same thing!

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Mon, 11/12/2007 - 3:51pm

How can any mom do that to their child?
I feel so badly for the kids. They are however lucky to have moms like you in their lives.

Anonymous's picture

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 11/12/2007 - 4:29pm

I totally understand how you are feeling. Although my SS is not quite a baby anymore, yet it never fails that BM continues to hurt him. BM pays attention to every other child except her own. When SS is visiting her she sleeps all day and is on the computer, she doesn't even get up to feed him. SS hates visiting her. When they get older, they will figure it out and realize how greateful they should be to have someone who actually cares about them.