Hi....I have been lurking for several weeks now. This board is amazing and I am so glad I found it. It helps me so much. I am at the end of my rope. O am so unhappy, I find myself doing spiteful things to my DH and I am ashamed of myself. I know he loves me and I love him. Some background...we are now in our late 30's. We met when I was 15 he was 17...first love lasted 5 yrs. Split up...he married...had two kids...I partied, dated...had a blast...zoom ahead 10 yrs....his brother contacts me...my DH was getting divorced from his wife and was I available? Of Course!!! Every man I dated for the last 10 yrs I always compared to this man. I never found anyone who stood up. I was getting comfortable with the notion that I would never marry and be the "dog" lady. I have 4 dogs currently. Anyway's we get together after he is legally separated. She was unfaithful ,left him and their 2 young daughters once before, thought she was going to do it this time. I come into the picture...all hell breaks loose. She fits 7 of the 9 criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder. Has made our life, her life, her partner's life and her kids life miserable. Now the girls are in their very early teens and run the house because DH guilt parents. This board helped me learn how to ask my self "the question" and tell him exactly how I feel. So we sat down and made some basic rules and consequences which were put into action Monday night. Its so hard. I feel like I am raising 3 kids. I tried disengaging in the past only to find myself living upstairs every other week when the kids were here and watchin them run completely over him. And watching his frustration because he doesnt know how they got that way. So far the new plan is working somewhat, but he just slipped, so I came here to get away and vent. I feel like I am rambling, every suggestion I have done. I guess I just need to read some more of you ladies pumping each other up to get myself together. Thanks for letting me vent. This my first time ever in 5 years posting on a board. Although, I've been reading for 5 yrs too! Thanks Ladies! and I think there is a Gentleman here too!
J