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Worst night of my life

purdy's picture

Submitted by purdy on Thu, 11/09/2006 - 2:35pm

Well we are in quite the mess we went to our lawyers last night and it was a real jaw dropper.First let me explain things my husband worked last year for a company and this year he started on his own so they are basing his child support payments on last years income which this year has been harder because he is just starting off anyways the child support they are asking for we just cant afford it and they are not taking into account that we have bills a loan and a dependent my son still living in our house so our options are we either pay this amount they are wanting and leave us with just a few thousand dollars over the poverty line or we can claim undue hardship which means we can fight to get it lowered but if we lose our lawyer said she can get that amount she wants and we would have to pay her lawers fees which she isnt even paying her lawyer because they are friends but we cant prove that.If that happens we would have to claim bankruptcy.My lawyer even said that the judge could make us move to a smaller home we only rent but we have a 4 bedroom house in the country because sd was living with us at the time and ss came over on the weekends so each child had their own room plus a good enviorment to grow up in.Now that my son is the only one living with us now i dont know if they can make us move.Does anyone have any advice for me or any info would be very much appreciated we live in ontario.

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Thu, 11/09/2006 - 6:07pm

Is there any way you can do some kind of mediation where you get a judge to mediate an acceptable amount between the bio parents? That's what we did and when the ex was being unreasonable, I just told the judge that she may as well lock him now, because we can't give her what we don't have. (You should've seen the look on my husband's face!) When I pointed out that she gets ZERO if he's in jail and not earning anything, she quickly became reasonable and we were able to negotiate a more fair amount. But that was in North Carolina... have no idea how things work in your neck of the woods. Good luck!

~ Anne ~

hopeful's picture

Submitted by hopeful on Thu, 11/09/2006 - 7:02pm

In Ontario, child support is based on income according to a chart. This has been in place since approx. 1997. If your husband is starting out on his own, will his income not be substantially reduced. My husband had to provide his Notice of Assessment for calculation of child support. If I were you I would go for the court case, if you are going to face hardship as a result of unreasonable child support judgement, then the risk of paying legal fees is probably worth it. I would take the risk...regardless of outcome...that is just me. Take care and good luck....the ridiculous legal system rears its ugly head yet again!

Shar's picture

Submitted by Shar on Thu, 11/09/2006 - 8:03pm

on the previous years income...If you made $200K in 2005, but in 2006 you got demoted or lost overtime, or moved to a lower paying job...or did anything to lower your income..the judge still orders child support to be paid on the last T-4 slip. My BFriend is living proof...he went to court in August saying he is not making what he made last year...judge didn't care....she took what he made for the last 3 years and averaged and came up with a ridiculous amount. $4200.00 a month..yep and he only brings home $6800.00 a month..his argument didnt hold up in court...and his lawyer told the judge if you make him pay that amount he will be in arrears every month...and sure enough,,,hes already in arrears....all his lawyer said was do your income tax for 2006 year in March and take her back to court to try and get it lowered.....By then he will be broke....gotta like the legal system in Canada................NOT! No wonder so many fathers just up and quit their jobs....

hopeful's picture

Submitted by hopeful on Thu, 11/09/2006 - 8:56pm

It seems odd that the change in income earning isn't taken into consideration, it was for my spouse. The problem is that many men (yes way too many men!) don't bother to support their kids and this tarnishes the reputation of those who do. Once my spouse had the child support issue settled, he got a full time job...for the first time ever!

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Fri, 11/10/2006 - 2:52pm

I get $520 a month too for my two kids.. Well that is when he wants to pay it.. Good ole Indiana and there laws..
Sorry read that and I was like.. I would like to be able to take my ex to court for $4200 dollars.. That is an insane amount of money.. That is actually like 2 months salary with support.. Dang.. I could get my new boobs I want.. That lady is insane.. How can anyone get that amount unless your like a oil tycoon or something.. I feel for you. Well I would have to say I agree I understand why some men quit there jobs.. By the way I am trying to add humor too..

Does this woman not know how to work? I just don't get it..

purdy's picture

Submitted by purdy on Fri, 11/10/2006 - 8:27am

I totally understand that we need to pay child support and whatever we can afford but it is not fair that we have to go by this income of last year.We have to already scrape by every month let alone pay the amount that she wants but yes we are going to claim undue hardship because my son also lives with us and he already has to go without certain things.I even have to put my bills aside and let them pile up just to pay our lawyer.We cant even buy our own house now which we were saving for but all of our savings have been used up.My son and i have never lived in our own house it has always been a dump because my ex never wanted to work i had to work 3 jobs just to get us by and then my ex just up and left us on xmas eve and i didnt hear from him for 3 weeks and then he called and said he was in alberta 3000 miles away.He took our vehicle and i got evicted from my apartment so i moved into my moms house for a year and left every bit of furniture we had all we had was the clothes on our back but that made me even stronger i went to courses and got some certificates and got myself a pretty good job.Then i went out and bought my own vehicle and i felt good about myself.Then i met my husband we had our kids so we moved into a beautiful farmhouse to raise our children out of the city and got some farm animals for them and my whole life i wanted a potbelly pig my husband bought me one for my birthday i was so happy we had the perfect life it felt like i could breathe again but now all of this seems to be fading just because ex couldnt leave us well enough alone this is why i am sticking by my husband and i dont care that we may end up in the poor house because my life in this past 2 years have been a lifetime of happiness for me and he has given us things and made me feel things that i have never felt before.