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KICKING & SCREAMING???

skye22's picture

Last night we went to pick my stepson up for our regular Tuesday visit. He came kicking & screaming and yelling that he hates coming to our house and wants him mom. I have no idea why he would act this way. At that point I wanted to turn the car around and leave him at his grandma's house. We meet at a parking lot directly in front of his grandma's house (her mom) and she walks him across the street to us. He was hitting her and crying and making a huge scene. This really hurt our feelings. I am now wondering if he is upset about the new baby or maybe his mom freaked out at him about it. I don't know. We took him back to our house and he would tell us what was wrong. After a while he forgot he was mad. The kid is kind of biopolar in general but good lord. I'm not sure what to think. I really just needed to vent Sad It makes me sad that he said he hates coming to our house and never wants to see us again. We are really good to this kid.

Comments

skye22's picture

I forgot to say that we just told him about the new baby on sunday..... could that be it??????

hopeful's picture

I hear your frustration. Who knows what the reason is? How old is your ss? It is too bad that kids have to experience all of this drama of coming and going and dropping off and picking up. Don't take his comments personally...kids say things and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, but rather the situation...who knows. Like he did eventually, let it go. Take care.

Nise's picture

I’m 99.99% sure that is the reason! There is no telling what he and his mom discussed regarding the new baby…only time will tell what she’s filled his head with!

Make a GREAT Day!

happy mom's picture

it's pretty hard to figure out what is bothering him, it could be many things. hungry, tired, interrupted when he was playing, etc. i wouldn't jump to conclusion as to what might have made him upset. kids have tantrums here and there and unpredictable at times. ask him/her again why when he calmed down or another day.

-happy mom

skye22's picture

Ya we kind of just tried to continue on with the night and let it be. But I do intend on trying to discuss this again. So we got a call today from his mom that he yelled and hit his teacher, he is only 6 and just started school this year. Strange becasue last week he got a leaf on the school tree for good behavior from the same teacher. Seems he is having a bad week. I hope it has nothing to do with the baby thing!!

happy mom's picture

yes ask him when he is calm and in a good mood. wow i can't believe he hit his teacher... it would be good to find out why. does he get enough attention from your side and his mother's side?

-happy mom

Anne 8102's picture

Six is a hard age, anyway, plus there are lots of changes in his life... school, new sib, etc. My son is almost nine and I remember having behavior problems with him at six and seven, problems I'd never had when he was younger and problems he's since grown out of. It could be an isolated incident totally unrelated to the pregnancy or it could be just "sixitis." If it becomes a recurring problem, then I'd investigate, but unless it becomes a habit, then I'd just keep in mind that they are very much into testing us and testing their own indepedence at this age and that's bound to cause some turbulence.

~ Anne ~

smom1007's picture

I saw the synopsis for a book the other day that I thougth I should pick up. My SD is about to turn 6, and the book claims 6-year-olds are just hormonal little people who one minute say they hate you and the next they love you. He could be upset about another baby, he could just be six.

Your Six Year Old: Loving and Defiant
by Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg, Betty David (Illustrator)

hopeful's picture

Try not to jump to conclusions. What does at six year old know what having another baby is really all about or will entail for him? Don't worry so much about what his mom has said to him...can't control that or do anticipatory damage control...a waste of emotional energy. Things are as they are, don't read into it and create trouble where none may exist.

Candice's picture

but keep in mind, this was during the heat of our court fightings, and he kicked a screamed when he was "forced" to come to our house. I wouldn't jump so fast that he is upset over you having another baby..my gut feelings over this is that bm and bm's family are making rude/negative comments about ss coming to your house for a visit.

When ss was screaming about not wanting to come to our house, we were not pg, and bm and her entire family were telling a 6 year old "I'M CALLING THE COPS IF YOUR DAD IS 1 MINUTE LATE BRINGING YOU BACK!" BM put a lot of stress on the shoulders of a 6 year old, and what a therapist told me was..this child was trying to appeal the feelings of his mom by fighting to go to dads, but in reality ss wanted to come with us, and had fun with us. So don't overload yourself with guilty feelings just yet, there could be other reasons for this...

just my experience...

skye22's picture

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I probably am jumping to conclusions early. I think that I am just hypersenstive becasue of the last time. We will just continue showing him the same love and support as always. And hope that whatever he is experiencing will subside Smile

Nise's picture

Yes he is 6 but the timing is very odd…keep your eyes and ears open, see how he acts around his brother and pay close attn to the things that he says…he’s already feeling “left out” of your family (the last name question was a good indication of that) and you may need to do some damage control b/c you DO NOT want him to feel like an outsider…

Make a GREAT Day!

happy's picture

And I have to say that he is very hormonal. One minute I walk on the moon and the next I am an evil witch who he hates.. I think its just him. I am not to sure.. Try not to be hard on yourself for his behavior. If you and his dad are good to him then do not fret.. I am sure from what you have said that his mom is not a "Great Influence" on him.. She could be saying things to him.. He coudl just be confused.. Jealous.. A new baby he may feel like "how come my dad can be with them all the time" and not me.. That is normal for every kid no matter what the age.. We were all kids.. I know I always think what if.. Or wonder why things had to happen to me.. But its just life. I am sure you are very loving and nurturing to this little guy. Give him some time.. The only thing I can say is be ready for her to come at you with asking why he is acting like that.. Ok.. It will all work out... Skye..
Happy

Nymh's picture

It's hard not to be offended by the things our children say, especially when we try so hard to provide them a loving, fun, and supportive atmosphere. I agree with the above comments. My gut is telling me that BM and her family are probably putting a lot of stress on him about visitation and the new baby, and he may just be lashing out. However, I wouldn't stress myself too much about it or jump to any conclusions just yet. Hopefully you and DH will be able to have a good conversation with SS when he's calmed down and find out what's really going on. Also next visitation if he does the same thing will help you know if this was just a hormonal thing or if there's really something going on.

Good luck, let us know how everything goes.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*