Wow.. Well at least now you know first hand. I think it is very sad for this woman to do that to her children. And for her to tell those kids that "he threw away there chance at being afamily again" first of all she threw that away when she left him for another man. He had nothing to do with that. You will never be able to have a peaceful life with her. She will forever blame you for him not taking her back. Never mind the fact or point of what she did to them. She will find no fault in herself. Just know from today on there will be no satisfying her and she is angry for her mistake. I do not get how these woman leave and everything is hunky dory because they have someone but yet the man moves on and they want to come back they made a horrible mistake.. Think before you take action then. I have never looked back..
The kids are probably very excited about the wedding but are now afraid to show it in front of her because she is MEAN..
Smile and best wishes..

on trying to work with vindictive people. This woman is in complete denial that SHE demolished her marriage, and lost HER opportunity to keep her family together. Adultury is the one thing that is an absolute deal breaker, I would definitely not tolerate that period.

To answer your question "can we ever be sensible to each other for the sake of the children"...the answer is no. Remember, this woman didn't care much about her children when SHE decided to break up their home, and take them from their father, for her own selfish desires. You can try, and try to work with her, but she is selfish, and she uses people. You can always be civil, and always put your best foot forward, but she will always be selfish, and she will always use people.

Remember, there are two kinds of people in this world..there are users...and there are those of us that can sleep at night...she is so mean, b/c she can't sleep.

Focus on what makes your marriage strong and secure, do the best you can to support him being a great father, love his kids to the best of your ability, and remember to enjoy life. Don't get suckered into joining her party of misery, b/c that is what she is inviting you to do by trying to sabotage your relationship with his children. Ignore it, and have fun planning the wedding, and don't worry about hurting her feelings. Live life, and enjoy it!

Bests,
Candice

My fiancee and his exwife broke up 6 years ago, as she left him for another man with their children.
Last night she stated that ... he threw away their chance on being a family again because he is getting married.

No, SHE threw away that chance when she cheated on him and left him for someone else!

My advice, don't bother yourself trying to rationalize or empathize with this woman. She is upset because she screwed up and wants you and everyone else to pay for her mistake. You're never going to be her friend, she's never going to accept you or speak well of you to her children. You may as well start thinking this way now so that you won't be disappointed later. Heck, maybe you'll even be pleasantly suprised with her behavior in the future, but I seriously doubt it. She sounds like the kind of person that'll be your best friend when she has a man, but when she's single she'll be blaming all her problems on you. Do yourself a favor and don't try to buddy up with her or make her like you, and try not to get offended when she says negative things about you to the kids. She may have her ups and downs but she's never going to change.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I don't think you can ever deal rationally with a woman scorned! (In her own eyes) As long as she has feelings for your fiance/husband your lives will be difficult...she will see to it.

You have no issues with your x or his wife because you are well balanced and have moved on..with no baggage or dreams of reconcilliation.

Same here, I'm glad my X is moving on....and I have no issues with his GF..

But hubby's X...although she messed around on him multiple times with multiple men...blames me/hates me...because she see's me as the obstacle to thier re-union. Dispite dating/living with one of these men for 6 years...she still wanted him back...and sent her "thinking of you often......" e-mail.

Not until she was soooo resoundly outright rejected..by his "I can't stand you!" reply.....did she finally fade into the background, she now acts sheepish, rather than screaming obscenities at me....

Until your fiancee's X gets a man...or rather moves on....it won't be easy. Since we know she wants him back...and would be more than happy to have you driven out of the picture..you must not allow that. Stay aware of what she's doing..(using the kids too)..pick your battles and be their for your step-children....they will tire of her behavior and come running to you & thier DAd.
Good Luck