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WEIRD

Melise's picture

Submitted by Melise on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 3:04pm

This morning my husbands ex called 4 times wanting me to help her find an apartment. She wanted my opinion on the places she found in the paper and wanted to know if I would consider going to look at some places with her. It is just so strange to me that whenever she needs help or even an opinion she calls me. I just make sure im always polite and give her my opinion but there is no way I would go apartment hunting with her its just too weird. She really has no family and not many friends so maybe she just feels like im the person to go to. I suppose its a lot better than having her calling my husband all the time. Anyways just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.

Comments

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 3:25pm

It is strange but look at the bright side of it.. SHE is not asking your husband.. Keep your guard up but maybe she really is being sincere.. Take it as a compliment..

Its weird but ok..

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 4:26pm

Has she caused any problems before w/you and your husband? If not, maybe she is just looking for a buddy. But why you? Out of all the people she has to choose you. I guess she can't help it cause you are the only one she talks to. I wouldn't go either, it's just strange and why does she want to be friends w/you that close? So she can find stuff about your life? Don't trust her!

-happy mom

Melise's picture

Submitted by Melise on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 9:26pm

No she has really never caused problems with me and my hubby. every once in a while she gets jealous and says rude things about me to my hubby but always calls later and apoligizes to me. also my hubby doesnt let her say much he stands up for me.The only thing she ever causes problems with is my SD. She is a VERY terrible mother.

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Thu, 09/14/2006 - 3:26pm

I wouldn't get close to her if I were you. Especially if she mentioned bad stuff about you in the past. Just can't trust exs at all.

-happy mom

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 5:22pm

If the ex would call me and ask me to go with her to look at apartments, then you'd better duck because pigs will be flying!!!!!
She has asked my husband about places when she was looking but never to go with her to look at them

Dawn

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 5:40pm

Only my bf's ex is really bi-polar when it comes to me. One day she'll be screaming and cussing me and the next she'll treat me like a buddy. The poor woman has no friends and no social life - she's really lonely. But at the same time she hates me and has told me and others several times that she wished I would die. It's really weird.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

hopeful's picture

Submitted by hopeful on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 5:43pm

From her behaviour, probably the person that she loathes the most is herself and is projecting her feelings onto everyone else. She also may be the type who blames everyone else for her woes in life. Nonetheless, she probably won't change unless she finds a reason to do so...who knows what that might be! Take care of you and your family in the meantime! Good luck and good life!

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Tue, 09/12/2006 - 6:05pm

She also may be the type who blames everyone else for her woes in life.

Oh believe me, she IS. She is the perfect model wife and mother and has done NO wrong! It's everyone ELSE'S fault that her marriage fell apart and she has no friends. She makes me sick with her denial! Dozens of people have tried to get her to see the truth but she's so thick-headed...she will never change until someone or something gives her the rude awakening that she needs to get everything in perspective. That is, IF that day ever comes...

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Candice's picture

Submitted by Candice on Wed, 09/13/2006 - 2:25pm

If this is the same moron you complained about in a previous blog about how she didn't bother to show up or call when she asked you for a favor, then I would suggest that you not even give any consideration to this other favor.

If I look into my crystal ball and see into your future, this same unreliable, unappreciative woman is going to sucker you into inconveniencing yourself, and place yourself on standby just so she doesn't bother showing up to looking at those apartments, or not even bother to call you to cancel.

I know you believe that on some level, you should do everything in your power to befriend, or be cordial to your sd's mother b/c of your sd, however, you need to place boundaries on yourself. If you choose not to, then you are signing yourself up to be a big door mat for this woman, and you will realize that you wasted your precious time on someone who will never contribute towards a relationship with you. This waste of time will create resentment towards her and yourself, and this resentment will not in anyway be of a benefit for your sd.

Outside of your sd's world, would you even consider being friends w/her? Probably not. Does your dh think you guys should be friends? Probably not. Don't let your generoisity, compassion, and kindness lock you into laying on the ground for this user. There is a reason people won't help her, there is a reason why she doesn't have friends and it is b/c the rest of the world has figured out she brings nothing to the table in terms of a relationship. Don't be the gluten for punishment she is looking for...

Melise's picture

Submitted by Melise on Thu, 09/14/2006 - 2:21pm

I would never actually agree to going with her. I was just polite on the phone with her and told her I would not be available to go apartment hunting with her as I have other obligations. I realized long ago that I could not count on anything that she says or does so I simply make other arragments even if she says she will help out with something.