4 little piggies and 4 blind mice
My step-son's issues [i]still[/i] have a hold on me and my biological children.
Although he is a child no longer, I am still raged against by my ex and his family.
Let me point out; between them, in addition to my two, they have four boys. Each one of them a handful growing up they have become in succession: a murderer, a drug dealer and gang leader, a deadbeat bum and a leech, and racist neo-nazi member of a white supremist group and holder of disgusting views and violence against women.
The parents must be so proud.
And here is the rub...
I was constantly accused of favouritism towards my own children. Well, I treated my kids and stepson the way they deserved. My son rarely got in trouble because he rarely did anything wrong. Same with my daughter. They were responsible and behaved rather well. Yes, I gave my stepson a hard time. What was I to do when the schools expelled him, he had constant runins with the law from aged ten, dealt drugs, and was violent? Was I to reward him? The night I had the police remove him from the house (16) for threatening my son with a military jungle knife was I to instead jump for joy and applaud him?
I write now because once again an former in-law of mine is claiming it is my fault for what ails their son and my stepson. They seem hell bent on blaming me for his sociopathy. They ignore their own apathy in how they raised their own son.
Apparently the fact that my biological children have thrived and gone on to become well rounded adults is [i]unfair[/i] to their own. WTF?
I was laughed at and railed against for 13 years at my style of parenting (you do wrong I hold you accountable) while they ignored it completely. How the heck am I to be judged for all that is wrong in their own children's lives?
I am sure I have not been the only one to have been accused of favouritism when it couldn't be further from the truth. Argh!
I guess history has proved
I guess history has proved you right in the end and they can't accept that. Too bad for them!
Scapegoating the stepmother
Scapegoating the stepmother is common practice in dysfunctional families. You are the outsider, the interloper whose different ways make for an easy target.
We are blamed for doing too much, or not doing enough; for not treating skids like our own, and for holding them to the same standards as our bios; for not mothering them, and for correcting them. It's an unwinnable scenario.
I'm wondering if there's a genetic predisposition factoring into the way your former skids and their siblings have turned out? Not that it matters as you seem to have escaped from that toxic environment.
People believe what they want to believe, but most people aren't dumb and can recognize a smear campaign when they hear it. Why do you care so much about the feces these monkeys are flinging? You've won by escaping their toxicity, and your successful bios are proof of your parenting ability. Hold your head high, and if asked, sadly say that you tried your best, that you pray for those kids, but blood will out. }:)
You can't fix stupid.
You can't fix stupid. Particularly when it is so prevalent in the shallow and polluted gene pool you describe.
I completely understand that you detest your X and the IL clan. I have long held the same sentiments regarding my cavern crotched adulterous whore of an XW as well as the SpermIdiot and the SpermGrandHag. My first marriage lasted only 2.5 years and ended nearly 28 years ago and my SS aged out from under the CO and we have had zero interface with the SpermClan for more than 8 years.
I occasionally run into mutual friends that my XW and I share. When they mention her I actually find myself getting angry, disgusted, my face flushes and I struggle not to go on a rant about her and how she deserves the life she has had. Multiple out of wedlock children by two different baby daddies, on marriage number 3. On the hook for over $1Million of more than 5Mil in restitution her family owes for the embezzlement of money from my felon XMIL's 30+ years of ripping of her employer with the aid of my XW, XFIL, etc.... I go back in my mind to my XW's comments about how she had to live her life with people who had actually accomplished the things that I had grown up experiencing and planned on doing in my/our life together. She has done squat for nothing with her life in comparison and I have gone on to a great career, a 23+ year and counting marriage, raised a kid to viable adulthood, my parents are not felons, I don't owe anyone a dime, my wife and I have lived all over the world, and have never been inside of a court room except for school purposes and to defend my Skid's best interests.
As for the SpermClan.... :sick: They still disgust me. While my bride and I raised our son (my former step son now adopted) with standards of behavior and expectations of performance the SpermIdiot remains a dead beat dope head living rent free in SpermGrandHag/SpermGrandPa's slum lord owned shithole of a rental property and expounds to his two youngest also out of wedlock sons on how cool it is to be a gang banger as he gets stoned (though no legal in SpermLand) and expounds on his philosophies on life. His two eldest children (my son and his younger half sister) detest the SpermIdiot.
I harbor a future fantasy of attending the funerals of all three of them and wizzing on their coffins in front of their friends and family as they are lowered into their holes. }:)
While I don't fixate on any of them I certainly maintain a strong level of disdain for all three of them.
Congratulations to you and your kids on lives of quality. Take care of you and let that cesspool of a gene pool you have left behind simmer in it's own willful ignorance.