Not sure what Im always doing wrong
I always manage to do something to make my husband upset, sad, or disappointed with me. He has been questioning our relationship since we got together. Nothing I ever do is enough for my skids. I used to pick them up from school, take them to lunch on my own dime, or cook them lunch, Fold their clothes, clean up after them etc. Husban was very rude to me when I was taking care of him and his son when they were ill last month. He said I could leave because I questioned my SS's fever or lack thereof. This is after I spent the day taking care of them. The other day we were hanging out at home. His mother came over and was going on and on about how gifted SS is. I was realizing on the couch watching tv. Very rarely do I get to watch what I want at home. SS was hanign out with grandma in the other room and SD was in garage with daddy. I have disengaged somewhat but was friendly to everyone. Later hubby is mad at me because he says I act like I dont want to be around. Nothing I do is ever enough. If he wants me constantly entertaining, playing with his kids, cooking, cleaning etc he needs to hire a nanny. I work 50 hours a week and deserve some downtime. He was also mad because I wasnt chatty enough with his mother. I was chatting with his mother when she first came in and helped her with her bags but she was cold towards me so I went to watch tv. I know when we have problems he tells his mother everything. Anyways I dont know what I am always doing wrong. Im nice to his kids, even though they are not always nice to me. I help and do things for them but have my needs for rest too. What is the big deal?
Life's too short to have your
Life's too short to have your life partner always "upset, sad or disappointed" with you, IMO. If you're doing your best and it's still not good enough, time to cut bait, I feel.
You could work a 100 hours a
You could work a 100 hours a weeks, the house could be spotlessly clean, look after HIS family the other 68 hours left in the week and you still wouldn't be good enough.
You have 2 choices either put up with the complaints and being abused or you can leave and have a happy life without this person in it.
You are doing one very big
You are doing one very big thing wrong. You are staying with a man who is a total ahole.
^What she said.
^What she said.
"What is the big deal?" The
"What is the big deal?"
The big deal is that you are making the CHOICE to stay with a man who treats you like crap
So what he is
So what he is disappointed...he can get glad in the same pants in which he got mad, Georgina....this is not, and will never be, about you. You are the target of a narcissist. You doubt your actions and don't trust your thoughts and feelings.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Your A-hole Husband sounds
Your A-hole Husband sounds like he is starting the first steps of being a abuser. He's making you question everything you do, because he thinks everything you're doing is wrong, mean, rude. Step back from this and try to look at the relationship as a third party. You will see that he is nothing but a verbal abusing A-hole. He is beating your self esteem into the ground and you need to GET OUT!!
^^^This^^^ I bet he's nice
^^^This^^^
I bet he's nice enough some days to make you question whether you can maybe stick around and work things out.
My father was like this guy...nothing my mother did was ever good enough, and she stuck around for us kids. Sometimes he was nice...
The stress and constant self-doubt he created in her finally was tragic. Don't let this happen to you.
Even though ending it may seem like an unimaginable set of difficult hurdles, you would be best to keep your eye on the big picture.
Why did this guy end his first marriage...was he like this with the BM too ? That means he is not going to change and suddenly be Mr. Wonderful. Do you have kids together? If not, from an objective perspective, it looks as though you are are a normal, hard working person who took on an SM role without knowing the risks. On top of that, turns out Dad in this case is the problem.
Cut your losses and make a happy life. Make a careful plan and leave without argument once you have your next place to live. There's no point discussing someone's personality disorder.
Another adult in your house
Another adult in your house is telling you how to act, what to do, what to think, and all of that according to what works best for HIM. Zero consideration for what you want or need. That is not ok. What are you getting out of the relationship?
He has been questioning our
He has been questioning our relationship since we got together.
It's time for YOU to question this relationship. There is no reason to be with someone who treats you this way.
Excellent advice SRO...
Excellent advice SRO...
I think she's just trying to
I think she's just trying to see if there is anything positive. I wouldn't stay anyway because there is no way the positive can outweigh the negative in this situation.
Name some good things about
Name some good things about your husband.
Love yourself more OP. No one
Love yourself more OP. No one can have a happy life living like you do.
Oh Hon, get therpay
Oh Hon, get therpay immediately.... go and find your old self...
and for the time being, if DH is going off about you not spending enough time with his brats, smile and say, why do you think I'm suppose to do things you and their mother refuses to do?
You're only doing wrong by
You're only doing wrong by yourself georgina...not by him. You are severely unhappy. You post very frequently saying so. It sounds as if it's a situation where the only advice left to give is to get out. Some of us have other things we can try like disengaging or separate living spaces or whatever but none of that seems like it will help you. I'm gingerly telling you that it doesn't sound like he loves you either(I recall your post where you said you were falling out of love with him) and nobody is happy in this situation. Him having such a short fuse with you and never being pleased with anything you do are signs that he is miserable too. I'm sorry for your heartbreaking situation but please show yourself some love and put yourself first now. Somebody has to.