They're probably always going to be her FB friends to keep up on what's going on w/the girls and out of sheer curiosity. I'd ignore it and promptly block her.

Just ignore it. It's Facebook. Its not worth even caring about must less getting into an arrangement over.

I'm sorry you aren't ok with the girls moving in with you and their father when you're expressing that BM is basically worthless. I feel like you may want to reconsider things a little bit. What happens if BM dumps the kids on you and moves across country? If she's already trying it's only going to get worse and your partner might Veto your decision since they are his children.

Meh, I'm friends with certain family members on FB so I can keep tabs on them and know when stuff is about to hit the fan. I don't give one hoot about my SSis' life, but she has caused major drama in the past and tends to allude to it on FB. Keeps me one step ahead.

It's totally probable they do the same thing - less about pictures, and more about keeping tabs. They'd probably never admit to that, but it may be the case.

Maybe the in laws don't feel comfortable going to the ex and saying, "Hey, sorry, we have to unfriend you in case his new wife is checking FB to see who we're friends with." They're in an awkward spot, especially because there's a kid, ya know?

It would be nice if they dumped her...a nice clean cut, she's history and everyone is on Team RLZ0073. But it appears the ex isn't as disposable to them as she was to your fiance.

The real advice is to stay off their pages. You weren't invited there, it's none of your business, and nothing good can come from digging around there. The in laws are nice to you. She's an ex. Just leave it alone. You got the prize.

In my experience, you’ll be a lot happier if you just let it go. If you’re friends with the soon-to-be in-laws on Facebook, unfollow or worst case unfriend. If not, just refrain from looking at their Facebook accounts. Block if you have to.

I had issues with my in-laws enmeshed relationship with BM for the longest time. Luckily, BM goes back in forth being on Facebook, with long periods of downtime in between. Once I realized it was all a game, on both of their parts, I found the strength to block all of them, pretending they do not exist.

Same thing happened to me. Someone was telling his ex too much, and he started asking his family to be more considerate and be careful what they post on Facebook. They all unfriended her and she unfriended the last few stragglers, so it worked out.

But I wouldn't take it too seriously. Everyone in my DH's family hates the ex with a passion. They mostly kept her on FB to be judgemental and see what other crap she was up to, like posting memes about sex positions and asking her FB friends what if they could think of the "least abusive" thing she could do for effective punishment. Yeah...

Same here.

The Ex-Wife put DH through 10 years of hell, cutting him down in front of other people, disrespecting him to the kids, living separately under the same roof, conducting two affairs and eventually forcing the divorce on him. Yet she's not only still Facebook friends with his family, she is also still invited to all family events.

Bizarre. But I can't do anything about it, so I just do what Elsa does and LET IT GO!

Don't follow them on FB, don't look at their FB, block them from your FB.

This is what I did eight years ago. No more frustration. Out of sight, out of mind.

I don't ask, I don't participate, and I am totally disengaged from my skids. My DH can't let his past go, but I can.

It takes time to let it go, but it is possible.

Good Luck.

My DH's family (not his parents, they are deceased) is pretend-friends with BM2 on FB, and also with his first ex wife's family (yes, 2 BMs, here).

DH and I do not have FB, and after 21 years, we have put his family's betrayal (much more than being FB friends) to the back burner. But we certainly are not as close to his family as we once were.

I don't know how much they actually communicate with BM2, but considering everything that she has done to DH in the past, why they are even FB friends with her is beyond me. SD is 26, so it has nothing to do with seeing pictures of her.

Personally, knowing his family, it is all about nosiness, drama, and gossip.

They can have it.

You are going to have to find a way to let this go, it's not worth it the frustration.

This was the subject of my very first blog post here. You can read the responses I received on my blog. I took the advice and let it go. I'm actually grateful to leave that drama alone. My goal for 2018 is to lessen stress, relax and enjoy my life more.

OK here are my 2 cents as a Grandmother, wife, mom of minors AND Mother inlaw to a wonderful adult kid inlaw. PLUS use to be very active sm. The later is an awful and very long story.

IF IF IF my adult child would divorce, my loyalty would be with my adult child. I would never play highschool FB games. I have not friended my wonderful inlaw adult kid on FB or any of their social media as of yet, nor would I.

Futhermore the flow of pictures, information and time with US would come from my adult bio. Not my former kid inlaw.

I could never understand why ex inlaws friend their bio's spouses to begin with. It's childish. Also could never understand moms who friend all of their kids friends on social media.

JMO of course.

I'm still friends with my ex and His family on Facebook. Particularly this mother. I've allowed her to stay because while he still crashes in Herr basement doing the same thing he's done for the past 7 years, I have a house, the same job and a family. Whose the problem now?!?!

But the rest of them I genuinely have good relationships with care about. My ex doesn't negate that.

This also reminds me that my MIL and FIL are still friends with BM’s Mom and BM’s brother. I used to want to puke at all the fake friend games they’d engage in with one another.

BM’s brother would often comment how he was “Sorry (he) missed them”, when my in-laws would be in town visiting skid briefly.

No he wasn’t sorry. A) He’s not even close to them, and I’m sure BM’s brother was happy to have a break from babysitting skid.

They’re all an insufferable bunch, and they aren’t fooling anyone.

Like Goodluck pointed out, if my grown son had married and divorced, my loyalties would be with my child. If my adult child felt uncomfortable with me engaging with their ex and their ex’s family, I would stop immediately.

I wouldn’t guilt trip or shame my child. That’s what my MIL and FIL did to DH (and me) when DH told them to knock it off.