Just need to vent!!!!!
I have two stepsons, ages 12 and 15. It's to the point now where we barely even speak. Fortunately, they don't live with me and my husband. They come over Tues and Thursday (5:30 PM to 8:00 PM) They spend the night every other Saturday and on the Saturdays they don't spend the night my husband has them until 8:00 PM. May I admit that I absolutely love the Saturdays they don't spend the night? It seems to me when I was buying gifts, taking them to the movies and other places they tolerated me. I didn't do these things to win their affection, I did these things because I'm a nice person. I felt as though I was being used and decided to shut things down. I really wanted to be wrong about them and say they would still make an effort to have a relationship with me. NOT!!!!!
The 15 year old is not a nice person. Honestly, I know this is bad, but I don't like him. He's rude, disrespectful and runs back and tells his mother everything. He respects no ones valuables nor does he respect boundaries. I started leaving the house when they were here. Making nail appointments, going to the movies, or even taking a walk. I feel they aren't here to see me anyway. Of course I can't tell my husband these things because in his fantasy world, they love me. No they don't. There is no love. I admit the12 year old is tolerable, but I think often he follows his brothers lead.
I don't have children of my own. But I was a stepchild and there were things my mother wouldn't tolerate from me and I respected my step dad. My husband will be taking them to visit his parents out of town around the holidays and I don't feel as though I should go. I don't want to be in the car with two children that really don't like me.
You are living my life only I
You are living my life only I have three SS's. And the older two hated my guts from day one. They are rude, entitled, disrespectful manipulative brats who treat their father horribly and were groomed to be like that from BM.
I also was totally ignored in my own home. Lied about to BM and basically made to feel like a stranger in my own home. I finally got sick of it and took back control of my home. I no longer hid out when they were over. I refuse to be pushed out of a home that I purchased. I no longer cared if I cooked food they liked, washed their clothes or did anything for them. I came and went as I chose and they were not a factor in any of it. I no longer purchased them anything and treated them like they weren't there. Exactly how they treated me. Eventually they realized their cold shoulder was no longer affecting me and they stopped coming over all together. The OSS is now more civil and kind to me. He has matured and treats me with respect. The MSS is evil and avoids me because he knows I will unload on him for his treatment of DH. And YSS still comes over. He is Kind, helpful and respectful. Only because he was too young to manipulate by BM.
Start taking back control of your home. Stop leaving, start taking over your home. Sit where you want, do what you want, watch what you want on TV and if none of them like it, they can leave.
I appreciate your comments
I appreciate your comments and advice. I know I recently had to check the oldest one about touching the air. Personally I think it was a game to him. If he comes over and the air is off he wants it on and vice versa.
In regards to cooking they don't eat my food. They are BIG on fast food. So I let their dad deal with it. In the beginning I tried to cook, but they weren't receptive. Now I worry about food for me and the husband.
I will take my house back. Thank you.....Thank You.....THANK YOU!!!!
Put a lockable cover over the
Put a lockable cover over the thermostat. End of issue with the Air challenged Skid.
I know all too well about
I know all too well about this predicament. I too have two SS ages 14 and 9. Straight up, I can't stand the fourteen-year-old. There were a couple of occasions where I had to remind him of who the alpha male really is. My advice to you would be to talk to your husband, tell him how you feel, and make it clear that you need his assistance. This is the mistake that I made. I am now in a marriage that I really don't want to be in because of the oldest kid. The nine year old at times follows behind the 14 year old which puts me in a bad mood often. Don't be me. Miserable and angry more times then not.