ROFR
My DH agreed to 4 hour ROFR when he divorced his ex. Ex wanted 2 hours (Which I find either to be ridiculous) This was prior to us being together. He said he did it to protect the kids if BIO needed a sitter he would have the opportunity 1st.
But of course the ROFR rules don't apply to BIO. She does what she wants and lets the kids go with her family without letting DH even know. For the day and even there have been overnights where he doesn't find out until the next day.
Because of a screwed up work schedule DH offered Bio ROFR on his weekend knowing he might have to work more than 4 hours. Bio took the kids and then pawn them off on her family instead of letting me take care of the step kids. Or DH find a sitter or have DH have a family member during his time. Without even asking him if that was ok.
Now that we are married can this ROFR be removed or changed? He has to ask her permission if the kids want to spend more than 4 hours with their Grandparents on his side or their cousins. Which BIO says NO to. She only wants the kids with their father. It's so stupid! The kids are older now. (Middle school and late elementary school ages) It's silly to have to shuffle the kids to BIO because she wouldn't want step mom or any of DH family circle to spend time with the kids so that she can just go and pawn them off on HER family. She won't let them spend time with his side and there is NOTHING wrong with them. But, like I said they can go with her family whenever and how long she wants. It's all about her controlling the situation.
So my question is does anyone else have ROFR and deal with this same BS? and now that we are married and kids are older can this ROFR be removed or changed?
Crazy BM asked to have this
Crazy BM asked to have this also but FDH said hell no.
If she is not asking your Husband to watch the skids when she is busy more than 4 hours why is your husband even bothering to ask her? If shes not applying FOFR then why are you guys?
Play her game...
I wish my husband would ~
I wish my husband would ~ since the rules don't apply to her (in her eyes).
But, he doesn't like to upset "princess"
I deal with the same BS and
I deal with the same BS and BM does the exact same crap. Leave SD with her boyfriend all the time (and lie and say she didn't) even though at the time we lived around the corner and I HAD to drive past her house to get out of the plat and would see her bf with SD and his kids waiting for the bus...BM gone. She always acts as if those provisions in the agreement should only apply to her and not my SO. Her mom and dad watch SD after school but it is actually in their divorce agreement that SO's mom is not allowed to watch SD either! BM is super controlling. At first it bothered me that she didn't want me to watch her daughter (which I am sure is the whole point for BM). Now I just find it hilarious. So if SO has to work on his weekend with SD and BM wants to hang onto me not watching her then she has to drive to get her and drive to bring her back. Not a thing in the agreement about SO having to take her SD in that case so we make her do all the leg work since she is being ridiculous! Plus there is always more chaos with SD around b/c she is spoiled and tattles constantly and has attention seeking problems so I don't even want to watch her! The only part that bothers me about it now is that SD is 10 and knows her mom doesn't want her alone with me and it basically diminishes my role as an authority figure to SD. That is why I disengage as well.
I should also note that we moved about 30 minutes away from BM (Thank the LORD) so it is a big inconvenience for her to stick to this ROFR clause now
Of course ROFR only applies
Of course ROFR only applies when biodad is tied up. To the PASing BM, ROFR is merely a serving suggestion and doesn't apply to her.
BIO texted my hubby yesterday
BIO texted my hubby yesterday "The kids will be at my moms next Friday & Saturday nights and all day Sunday. Just giving you a heads up" He responded with "ok cool thanks for the heads up" She replied with "I gave you a heads up because I have no choice but to"
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URM Yeah about that 4 HOUR "Right of First Refusal" She never asked if he wanted to take them while she is out of town she just made arrangements to have her mom watch them.
She does what ever she wants ~ but I cant take the kids to the darn target... UNREAL