My husband is a 'Disney Dad' when his child comes to visit...I need advice.
My husband is a 'Disney Dad' when his son comes to visit. What makes it worse is he's pretty much a normal dad with my kids. We don't have a lot of money right now so there was no vacation this summer and my kids don't ask for 'extra' things since they know we can't really afford much. This summer was spent with us hanging out at home. My stepson was too busy to visit all summer and it's a 9 hour round trip to get him (18+ hours on the road for a weekend visit). Anyway, my stepson asked to come down for the weekend and immediately my husband is asking someone if he can bring the kids swimming (he hasn't done that all summer for my two). His son wants to go to the mall (he has $50 to spend), so he takes the boys and hangs out at the mall with them (we only go to the mall when we 'need' something from there). He takes the boys to Walmart and buys them a new toy, my son hasn't had a new toy since the last time his stepbrother came to visit. I hope this paints a picture well enough for someone to give me some advice.
I would tell your DH what you
I would tell your DH what you just told us in just about the same words Let him know that you are not comfortable with how he puts his kids on a pedestal in such a way that demonstrates to your kids that they are second class citizens to your DH.
The new toys only when SS is there is crappy for DH to do and he needs to have a knot jerked in his tail for that crap.
IMHO of course.
Take some money from the
Take some money from the account and go and treat your kids- whatever he does, you do.
Are your kids also your
Are your kids also your husband's kids? I'll assume yes. And if that is the case, you need to discuss with your husband the message he is sending his younger sons.
If your children are your
If your children are your husband's stepkids, then he isn't doing anything wrong.
This is kind of what I'm
This is kind of what I'm getting from this.
Yes he's going to make it special while his children are present since it's not often. It doesn't sound like he's actually spending money just doing the leg work. You should be more than capable of doing the same for you children.
Like you said your kid DID get something when the skid was around last time so atleast that's a positive. Hes nit flat put ignoring your child.
If your children are not your
If your children are not your shared children then consider this .... if you saw your children a few times a year would you pull out all stops to make it fun? I think you would.
If you are both parents of your 'bios' then speak to him about how your kids feel with only getting things extra when SB is in town. Now I suspect your DH thinks that spending every day with your kids is good enough. But ask your DH how he would feel if your Bios lived elsewhere and when they visited you showered them with gifts and fun and the rest of the year his son got day to day requirements and little else.
And why can't you take money and buy your kids small gifts/ rewards?