Emotionally overwhelmed blended family

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I am new to step talk. I am reaching out because I am at my wits end and emotionally exhausted. I don't know if I really have a question besides "am I going crazy?"
For 8 yrs, my SO and I have lived together. I have a son who is 10 to my ex and my SO has 2 daughters 11 and 12. My son lives with us full time and the girls would visit on the weekends.
In the beginning, I felt like it was the perfect match. He had the girls I had always wanted and I had a son which he never had. Perfect mini Brady bunch. And for the first 6 yrs, it was just that. Perfect.
The kids adored each other. They couldn't wait to see each other every weekend. As they got older, my SO's ex said she felt every other weekend was better for the kids for school reasons. We understood and said ok. Little by little she has started to keep them from us. My son would be devastated every time they were supposed to come and they didn't. Not to mention how sad it made my SO. She would avoid us all week as we tried to make plans, only to find out she had made plans with his sister or mom instead. Soon, it started to feel like they were all keeping them from us. It just didn't seem possible. These are decent ppl. We're decent ppl. Why would decent ppl keep someone's kids from them? Let alone someone from your own family?
We began to take steps to assert our rights in court because there had been no custody arrangement before. Things really became ugly then. The ppl I thought were my in-laws have completely turned against me. It hurts a lot. But this whole thing is hurting the children more. It's like these ppl are strangers.
Is it really possible an ex can turn an entire family against you?
There's no abuse or neglect. There's no alcohol or drugs in the picture. We're both mature professionals. We don't have a lot of money, but what we do have is spent on the kids' happiness. Without hesitation.
Personally, I have a great relationship with my ex. And his family. So I know there can be a way to get along with others in this situation. I just don't understand how this happened to us right under our noses. I could have never imagined those girls would look at us like the enemy. When 2 yrs ago, we were all thick as thieves. It never felt more complete than when all 5 of us were together. I miss that time very much. Has anyone else gone thru something similar?

Honestly, I've been so

Honestly, I've been so blindsided by it that it's really brought me down for a few weeks. But now I know the truth about my in laws. There is no doubt now what their feelings are. They have shown their hand. Now that I know where I stand, I won't be afraid of offending anyone or becoming persona non grata any more because I already am. It's their loss. Thank you for replying. It means a lot

Thank you for replying. I'm

Thank you for replying. I'm thankful I have found a place to reach out.

In a perfect world there is

In a perfect world there is no such thing as a perfect blended family and maybe 5% of the population of people that get along with their exes which is why they aren't together anymore.

This is an example of why I

This is an example of why I take a zero tolerance position on any crap in the blended family opposition whichever branch they are part of.

I am willing to work reasonably with reasonable people. Unreasonable people I destroy to the best of my ability using every legal, financial, community, and social tool that I can legally exploit to accomplish my goal.

I think that it is time for you and your SO to draw the line in the sand and start smacking everyone who is not with you. Figuratively of course.

Good luck and enjoy bringing the pain on the unreasonable. I sure did.

Wow...i couldn't help but

Wow...i couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm. It's ruthless and straight forward and downright awesome. I am one step from being this way with all these ppl. I've played nice for a very long time but it's gone on toooo long. Thanks for this comment, you have sparked something in me. I really appreciate it!

Thank you...you all have such

Thank you...you all have such wonderful insight--thoughts that I've never allowed myself. I feel stronger just reading these.

My son's father lives in

My son's father lives in another state and the children were so small that they weren't having sleep overs with other people when it was every weekend. As I mentioned above. Every weekend became every other weekend when they were getting a little older which we were fine with. The every other weekend went on for 2 years before things went south. And yes his family was always included. The girls went with his mom many Friday nights when we weren't with them. His family is Catholic and very big. Lots of get togethers and birthdays. And I think you are being a little harsh so I'm going to take the good with the bad from these comments and move on from yours.

My son's father lives in

I didn't mean to send that

I didn't mean to send that same comment 3 times. Is there a way to delete it?

I probably should have

I probably should have mentioned that the court awarded us joint legal custody and shared physical custody. And scolded his ex over and over in the courtroom for parental alienation. In PA, grandparents cannot get visitation rights unless the children actually lived with them for a year. Aunts have 0 rights. So my SO's mother and sister have no right to interfere. we have also sought family counseling for our blended family to repair the damage done by the parental alienation which the ex has tried to block. The court also found that to be completely absurd. So yes, I did leave things out. I just never thought that people we share our lives with would try to hurt us. They prob thought as long as there was no custody arrangement in place, they could get the girls whenever they wanted. The ex is too busy with a little one and tons of drama with her new man, that she would give them to his family as often as they wanted. With us threatening their perceived rights to time with the girls, I believe they thought staying on their mom's side was their safest bet. I think everyone in the situation except for us believed that the mother gets the final say because the girls live with her. We tried to ask them not to make plans without us being in the loop but they refused to do that. So our only option to fix it was to go to court. And that's what we did. And now there is vindication. As to whether we can get our Brady bunch back is yet to be seen and just because heavenlike doesn't think it's possible, I'm not giving up.

Word to the wise, jenja,

Word to the wise, jenja, there are people here who will try to hurt you, too. It's the internet. And the word "stepmother" seems to attract a certain amount of people with issues they want to work out on unsuspecting strangers in need.

But there are lots of nice people, too, who have great insights to share.

There's no indication you have done anything wrong in your family. You've been loving and enthusiastic and you get sand in your eyes in return. Many stepmothers learn that same hard lesson.

We have every weekend, too. The bm does not do all the heavy lifting at her house -- she does virtually none. We cram all the heavy lifting into the weekends. We have also offered weekends to BM so she can get in some recreational time but she always rejects, even on Mother's Day and birthdays.

Bio mothers have an atomic grip on their kids that can be kryptonite on many other relationsips even if the bio mother is a complete train wreck. We have a member on here whose teen daughter gets slapped and choked by her bm yet still goes back there and behaves badly at dad's house. The best thing is to protect your own heart from the fallout of these toxic connections.

Thank you so much. The

Thank you so much. The internet brings out the best and worst in ppl.

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Emotionally overwhelmed blended family