Unique situation need advice.
I've been married to my husband for 5 years. He let his exes new husband adopt his daughter when she was 5 and had no contact with her until she found him on Facebook at 14. They would message but no in person contact till a few months ago.
She showed up on our door step saying her mom gave her the boot. We take her in and it's been crazy ever since.
She's a complusive liar. Tried to tell me she didn't have a uterus because when she had her appendix out she told them to take that too because she didn't want kids. But she's on depo for horrible periods. That's the craziest example of her lies.
She has no interest of doing anything with anyone but my husband. I've tried to stay out of thier way during this reunion but anytime I'm present she had some kind of emotional tragedy that requires 100% of his attention and she either leaves and calls and text him or she sequesters hin in her room.
They are always right in each other's faces. Close enough to kiss. They hug constantly. It's like they can't pass each other with out touching. The other night I walked into the living room and she's laying there with her head on his lap. Not just on his leg but on his lap.
She dumped her boyfriend so she can spend 100% of her time with him quit her job and never ever leaves.
Anyone ever been with a bioparent in a step parent adoption reunion? Is this normal? Am I over reacting? She's 20 years old.
I know I'm new here...I've
I know I'm new here...I've combed the internet for people with similar situations and found none so I thought I'd try here. There isn't much support for step parents let alone spouses on adoption reunions. I'm at my wit's end.
Please read my story. It is
Please read my story. It is similar. The only thing much different is the age. My husband's showed up when she was 50. I felt like I have been dealing with his lover not daughter.
That's exactly what it feels
That's exactly what it feels like. Like she's the other woman. It's weird.
I think she is exp GSA. I
I think she is exp GSA. I don't think he is. To him she's still 5 years old and he's trying to make up for lost time. He has a lot of guilt and regret. He just can't see her for what she is.
My suggestion is for you to
My suggestion is for you to go to a counselor so you can find the strength to do what is right for you. This situation has come up before on this site - it was mentioned that this is almost like emotional incest.
Your DH may not have the courage to set boundaries so that leaves you to do it. First of all, if you are both contributing to the household expenses change it so you are paying only 1/3rd. Spell out your expectations for the marriage with DH and what living circumstances are with SD. I definitely would not put up with all of over-close physical stuff. You might have to leave this situation for a while until DH gets his head on straight. Save up for a possible exit plan.
I'm already thinking that
I'm already thinking that leaving is probably my only option sadly. I love this man but I can't watch this.
OMG (HUGS) to you. 1. What
OMG (HUGS) to you.
1. What proof does DH have this is his bio child---
2. CALL BIO mom who agreed to the adoption and tell her to have her husband pick up his kid. IF legal parents refuse then she is considered a run away AND they also abandoned her....call the cops.
3. YOUR husband is crossing the line here...........I would not allow her/this activity to go on in my home. Before you know it the 14 year old may say dad did something to her.
4. YUP I agree, leave,, but not before you let the cops know the child is in your home. DAD has no legal standing.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL behavior about the teen and xdad being so physically close. OH heck no. Do you think it is normal?
Follow your gut.
She's 20. Not 14. They
She's 20. Not 14. They reconnected on social media at 14 but now she's 20.
According to her she isn't
According to her she isn't allowed at legal dad's because step mom hates her. Mom took her house key away. But who really knows.
And who really cares. She's
And who really cares. She's an adult, not your problem, and has no business in your home. There's another poster who is going through something similar https://www.steptalk.org/node/237580
I read her post. Hers is much
I read her post. Hers is much worse. I feel for her. This house is his. I'm not on it. He had it before.
I need to just leave. This relationship isn't going anywhere anymore sadly. It sucks but if I forced her out he would hate me for it. So leaving them to it is probably the best option. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't nuts
You are not nuts, they are
You are not nuts, they are creepy. Emotionally, they do not have that parent/child connection and are crossing a line, whether they realize it or not.
My nephew (26), who was adopted by family friends but now knows that my sister is his mom, has made sexual comments to and about her, making her very uncomfortable. He knows she's his mother but it's like he doesn't SEE her as his mom, he sees her as an attractive woman.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. I just can't comprehend what your husband is thinking. This girl is obviously disturbed, besides being his biological daughter.
No, you are not nuts. You'd
No, you are not nuts. You'd be nuts if you didn't object to the sick behavior of your SD and DH. What a horrible place to be! One thing to remember - it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Good luck and (((HUGS)))
When I brought it up he said
When I brought it up he said I was the one who was sick for thinking it. I've had a dad so to me this kind of affection just seems wrong. I'd hug my dad and hold his hand and stuff but this isn't that. It's just uncomfortable. His own brother said it was gross.
Bio mom has no idea where she
Bio mom has no idea where she even is I'm sure. There is a lot of bad blood between my husband and biomom. I bet what's even more telling is what went on at legal dad's and stepmom's. She isn't allowed there at all.
She's 20 but I have a feeling
She's 20 but I have a feeling I know why with all the shit she pulls.