Disappointed
SD11 is coming to us this weekend. We have her 50% of the time. She told me last night she wouldn't be coming until Saturday at 3 PM to attend a daycamp. I admit I was very excited because that was one less day and a half that we would have to spend together. Her dad just calls me and tells me she changed her mind and they will be here in 30 minutes. What a let down. She's a good enough kid but I love any day that she is not here. I will sequester myself in the bedroom for a large portion of her being here. Her dad immediately picked up on that I was not happy that she was coming and got confrontational but I played it off. Any suggestions on how to tolerate her being here without it look liking I don't want her here. I think it's because I got all excited that she would be a day and a half late which would've given me an extra day and a half without her.
Well, for one thing, don't
Well, for one thing, don't hide out in your bedroom if you don't want it to look like her being there bothers you. Just go about your business like you normally would (unless that is to prance around naked).
My SD was a good kid, but not wanting kids, it was still hard for me sometimes, so I get where you're coming from. But if I wanted to sit in my living room watching TV all weekend, that's what I did. I did not let her presence dictate my life.
The less you change your routine when she's there, the less her being there will bother you.
Don't get me wrong, I still let out a sigh of relief when DH took her home, so it's not the perfect solution but it helped!
I used to hide out when my
I used to hide out when my SS's were here too. Then I got fed up with it and took back control of my home. I realized that once I stopped hiding, they started. They would stay in their rooms the whole time. Eventually they just stopped coming. I didn't do anything to make them feel they had to stay away from me, I just didn't let them run the house. BM lets them control her house.
We have 2 living rooms on the
We have 2 living rooms on the main floor. When kid is here, we all clear out of the one we usually hang out in, because none of care to hear stupid cartoons...SO included.
Our routine is much different when kid is here and when he's not.
My kids get home at 2:30 and 4...I get home at 3:45. I make dinner because I would anyway and I'm home... I do it when I get home, then work out... but when the kid is not there, I might work out and then order in... depends who else is here... I tend to order in more when it's just one of my kids, since they eat like horses...
SO usually gets home at 4:45, since he has to drive a coworker home and pick up his kid. Dinner is ready by 5:30-6 at the latest... kids eat when it's ready. SO and I hang out a little...then he hangs out with his kid and I piss off to another room with a book...puzzle...whatever. my kids are doing their own thing too.
When the kid is NOT there... SO and I will get takeout... we'll go out... we'll play cards..crib.. just sit and talk without being interrupted every 2 minutes...
It definitely dissapoints me when kid is here and isn't supposed to be... but it's nit the kids fault. I just do my own thing...and pretend I was home alone.
Go to an afternoon movie
Go to an afternoon movie alone! Ride your bike, go for a loooong walk. (I'm all about getting out of the house).
I love all of these comments!
I love all of these comments! Thanks for the ideas and perspectives!
I love all of these comments!
I love all of these comments! Thanks for the ideas and perspectives!