dh does not see sd does not care

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sd recently got a promotion at work and dh is just in gaga land over this. its like he is floating on a cloud.

well he got it into his head to give her some gifts and make a special dinner for her.

sd comes over for her special meal and to collect her gifts (brief case and desk set), eats the meals he spent hours over, and then leaves after an hour and a half. you should have heard his sappy gee i wish you could stay longer. stay longer? heck she was on her way to a friends party! no time for her old dad.

dammit why can't these men

dammit why can't these men see the truth?

What's so huge about a promotion anyway..... ask your DH if he wants to adopt me please...

She did have time for her

She did have time for her father. She had dinner, visited with him for a bit, then went out. That sounds pretty damn normal.

Dad being proud because his daughter is advancing in her career is also normal. What parent wouldn't be excited about that?

They both seem prerrty normal, until dad starts acting sappy.

I agree.. seems pretty normal

I agree.. seems pretty normal to me too. I think that is actually a nice amount of time to have an adult Skid visit:)

What's the problem? At least

What's the problem? At least she didn't just come, pick up the gifts, and leave. An hour and a half is a decent visit, especially considering that she was on her way somewhere else.

Had it been my SD25, she would've spent the night and expected breakfast!

Meh. I get it. We get plenty

Meh. I get it. We get plenty of the 'dine and dash' variety of visits. Or the 'grab and go' on birthdays and holidays. Drives me crazy. OSD, especially, will come over and 'have to leave' as soon as dinner's over. She's not in school and has a part-time job at a bakery that closes at 5 pm...so I'm never quite sure what's so urgent.

The only thing worse is when they do hang out Like, last night, SS was over...YSD is here for visitation this week. These kids are 17 and 19 years old and I hear them fighting like toddlers in the basement: "Stop It! Sttttooooppppp!" (said in the whiniest little kid voice imaginable from SD...not sure what horrible thing SS was doing...probably just sitting there breathing if I know her...)

Anyway, SS is ABOUT to leave when DH says: "Why don't you come to dinner with us?" Gah! WHY?!??!?!! To give it some context, this was the Mother's Day dinner for MY mom, who the skids don't really know much at all...and I'm paying for everyone at a nice place. So DH just invited two of his kids along without asking me first...of course they both say yes. My mom doesn't care...she's a 'more the merrier' type and says she 'doesn't understand when or how I became so closed off, territorial, and protective of my time and space...I wasn't like that as a child, teen, or young adult...I was always hospitable and generous..." Um. Try being a SM for seven years, mom, and then you might understand. Ultimately, I didn't really care that they were there except they plus my DH hunker down on one end of the table and basically talk amongst themselves the whole time. DH talks to my mom and my nephew once or twice, maybe. I ignore it and enjoy the time with my mom, siblings, niece and nephews. I just don't get why nothing can ever be about my family. Not ever.

I think it's more the intent

I think it's more the intent of the visit, in my case. Like...when it's abundantly clear that they ONLY come along or come over when they get something out of it, like a free meal or presents. I get what the OP is saying.

I never mind when OSD 'has to go' the instant we're getting up from the table. But I do find it annoying listening to my DH, who is a Grown A** adult man, whinging and whining and trying to coax her to stay longer. Oh, come on. Stay just to watch this one little thing that I think you'll find funny. What do YOU want to watch/listen to/do?!?! If you'll only stay, we'll arrange the entire night around your tastes! It's gross.

thank you for the post. you

thank you for the post.

you got my intent in the message. sd only came for the meal and gifts and had no interest in visiting with her father.

i was just happy she did not stay overnight. its humiliating to watch a grown man whine and coax his adult child. its really sad to see how his voice changes when hes around his children.

wow i got a lot of different

wow i got a lot of different responses to my post ranging from defending the skids to saying the time was average for a visit..

IMO the time was just right. shes an adult with a job and a life. what i am not liking is dh sappy and whining and wanting her to stay more. if he has his way she would have stayed overnight and until almost noon and he would have trashed the kitchen making her a special breakfast.

Then why did you title this

Then why did you title this "DH does not see SD does not care"?

The fact that she took time to enjoy the dinner and spend time with her dad shows that she cares. The fact that she didn't overstay her welcome shows that she respects your need for a small dose of SK visits.

The SD didn't do anything wrong in this case.

Your complaint is off balance

Your complaint is off balance in a HUGE way.

Now if the adult child dashed out after grabbing the loot, while chewing on a piece of steak then I would have felt bad for bio dad.

Frankly I think sd stayed graciously OVER time.

But she didn't eat and run.

But she didn't eat and run. She spent a short time with her dad, then went and hung out with her friends.

So unlike many of the SKs posted about here, this young lady:

Has a job
Is advancing in her career
Has friends that she interacts with
Isn't living with the OP
Isn't stuck up her dad's butt
Has enough sense not to overstay her welcome in the OP's home

Based on what was posted here, this young lady sounds like the ideal adult step daughter