Sociopathic step child?
Hello everyone,
I've been reading for quite a while but lost my old details.
I am interested in your opinions and if anyone has gone through what I have.
I think I posted a few years ago about step-son and his behaviour. He was bad then, but now it's far worse and due to my trying to parent him, his father is leaving me and our 4 year old, which is a blessing really.
Not long after I met them, his son was caught trying to find pictures of his dad naked on the internet. He was soiling himself still (aged 6). He was clearly being neglected by his mother, wearing clothes far too small and not brushing his teeth to the point where they went green. Didn't know how to wash his hair. He was caught twice watching porn when he couldn't find naked pictures of his father. He was aggressive with his fathers mother as she was so soft on him. No one ever told him off.
All of this has culminated over 4/5 years to shocking behaviour such as when he had a mobile phone he was watching porn regularly, had an instagram account where he'd received a picture of a man's bottom and testicles - he asked him for sex. Corrupting a young girl on a messenger app (the police got involved on the last 2 counts). Pathological lying and punching himself when caught out. Stealing his mothers tablet when on an internet ban. Heavy soiling daily and smearing faeces up his mothers walls at home. Screaming and throwing things at his mother. He face timed a couple of men in the Middle East. Walking in the road to get run over. Bashing his head against a wall to bruise his head. Swearing like a trooper to other kids and telling them to spread in around school that he soils himself. He threw his own tablet out of his bedroom window a year or so ago because it was too slow.
We took him to a psychologist who said he needed more help than he could give him and wrote to his GP saying he needed psychiatric help.
His mother is shocked that anyone believes he's mentally unstable and his father believes he just needs love and cuddles to fix the issue. We have split up over his behaviour as I don't trust him around my young daughter and don't want him around her. His father blames most of it on me because I will punish him for his behaviours (banning him from weekend football or writing lines when that's not on). I believe in rules, boundaries and consequences (I have only been allowed to do this in the last few months).
This child has no empathy for anyone or anything. Refuses to apologise for any wrong doings. Goes into himself and won't communicate when caught out doing something wrong, except his mother who he screams st.
I think he is on his way to being a sociopath. Any thoughts?
Did he ever get the intensive
Did he ever get the intensive psychiatric help he needs? If not he is being medically neglected.
Thanks for your reply. I
Thanks for your reply. I don't think he has. His father is refusing to tell me what's happening now as because of my firmness in him not being allowed to get away with murder in my home, he's stopped him coming over. For the boys sake, not anyone else's (as he believes I'm too hard on him and he doesn't want him around arguments regarding his parenting).
There was a meeting with his school social worker, the police and psychologists about him last week but I don't know and very much doubt anything will happen because his mother and father downplay his behaviour and lie about their neglect.
I' m so glad I'm not the only
I' m so glad I'm not the only one who thinks something is seriously wrong with him. His parents think I'm crazy for thinking he's going to be big trouble when he's older. The weird thing is that to an outsider he acts like the model child...
His teeth aren't like that
His teeth aren't like that now as I made sure of it! That still doesn't make him right though. There is something seriously. What I meant was that he's very quiet and the model of good behaviour whilst out. Butter wouldn't melt...
If you are divorcing, please
If you are divorcing, please instruct your attorney to do everything possible to prevent your child from being around your SS. If your STBX has visitation, what's to stop him from exposing your bio to this dangerous kid?
We never married luckily.
We never married luckily. He's son is now not allowed to see my daughter at all.
The worst part is, you stay
The worst part is, you stay in these really unhealthy relationship for years be cause you love your SO. Put up with all this behavior, not of your doing. Then after ten or so years, there is so much fighting, hurting and unhealthy thing. That you really don't have a relationship anymore with your SO. And everything is your fault Not the BM or BF who did nothing positive to help, and as time goes by they get the "free pass" But your fault because you tried
So what ever relationship or sole mate you have now, will be gone regardless of what you do.
Luckily I've only been in it
Luckily I've only been in it for 5 and never married him. I refuse to carry that sort of baggage in my life around with me. My daughter is not allowed to see his son until she's 18 plus when she can make her own decisions. Once he leaves I will get an injunction out against them to make sure it's enforced.
Double posting
Double posting
It may not be dad, but
It may not be dad, but someone molested that poor kid.
I'm pretty sure dad hasn't or
I'm pretty sure dad hasn't or I wouldn't have been around him so long. We keep going down this route but the mother brushes it off as us being over dramatic as she doesn't even think he has issues. I truly don't believe he's been molested, but there are definitely boundaries that haven't been adhered to like normal families in some ways. They're odd.
He typed (in a poor way like 6 year olds do) pictures of my dad naked. When that sprung nothing, he then looked at porn. His mother questioned him about it and he told his mother that it was a pop up on his fathers laptop - which was a blatant lie. The laptop was then put on strict parental controls and even though the paternal grandmother knew all this, she gave him his laptop instead - where he did it again. She then suggested (after all of this) that dad showered with his son.
Everything you have posted
Everything you have posted screams that this child has been molested. Sexually abused kids tend to act out sexually. They will do things (soiling themselves) in hopes of keeping the person(or persons) who is harming them away.
You fault the mom for dismissing the boy's actions, while you are busy dismissing the signs of abuse.
I can assure that I have not
I can assure that I have not ruled it out at all. I just know their family history. It's very difficult to describe the family dynamics.
It's his mother who won't go down that route - even though she's told people that her step father molested her. She blocks it at every turn - but the step father is virtually never alone with the child. The child is seriously messed up but I am pretty sure that he's not been molested, but I could never rule that out. I couldn't prove it and I'm not even allowed to get involved. GP's and psychologists just don't seem to want to help.
I think you should realise what a complete strain this has been on me for 5 years. The BM is a disgraceful human being who cares only for her own wellbeing and has neglected him for years.
Your husband is just as
Your husband is just as disgraceful as the mother. Both parents have madevthe choice to ignore the fact that their may have been abused and has serious problems.
You are making the choice to ignore his part in this and place all of the blame on mom.
If the mother was molested
If the mother was molested how are you sure she's not the one molesting him? Maybe that's why she's brushing it off, why he's so terrible at her house, and why she's refusing to acknowledge any problem
How old is this child? I am
How old is this child? I am imagining he is a teenager now? It sounds like he should be on medications, really, and it definitely sounds like he has been abused. I am not a psychologist of course, but a sexually deviant child, learns these things from somewhere.
And the Bios really have their blinders on. time to get out, for the sake of your child. SHE is your priority, not your SO.
He's not a teenager. He's 10.
He's not a teenager. He's 10. He's on a care plan now, apparently. So far nobody has done anything and his mother rewards him for poor behaviour, so it's doubtful he can improve.
When I told my ex that his son was a sexual deviant he went nuts at me. He does not believe it!
It is very unusual for a bio
It is very unusual for a bio dad to sexually molest their bio son. NOW BM's have been known to sexually abuse their own sons.
Ok I am out of this gross post.
.
I appreciate all comments and
I appreciate all comments and I don't believe I have argued against any point and certainly take them all on board.
I said I haven't ruled out abuse but unfortunately it's completely out of my hands, as I mentioned earlier. The BM has dismissed abuse completely. She won't have any of it at all, even though I've tried on numerous occasions to try asking her to at least to look into it.
The only thing I was looking for is confirmation that this type of behaviour is not normal as I have been told that he has no problems and it's in my head.
I have got my daughter away from him already. I have nothing figured out, another reason for asking for opinions. If I come across as defensive, it's certainly not meant that way as I have absolutely nothing to hide. It's been a very tough few years and it's difficult to get your head around such a bad situation - especially as I know that it's down to me alone to protect my daughter from these people. I've been under a lot of stress.
I know my ex has Narcissistic
I know my ex has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and tries to make me out to be crazy but we've even had a psychologist say what a lovely boy he is deep down, when I just can't see that. When you're told you are wrong constantly, you do start to question yourself. It's very refreshing to hear statements like yours.
I also wondered if anyone
I also wondered if anyone else had been through it. Like a support network of some variety.
any thoughts - yes be glad
any thoughts - yes be glad your husband left... keep him away from you and your children.
You did nothing wrong, this is all on the crazy kid's bio parents and you are not one.