LMBO!!

Oh, I get the usual token gifts.

Lotion, a candle...etc. Once, SD got me an oven mitt shaped like a cat, which I thought was pretty cute. Also a superman shirt from my SS and a travel pillow, since I'm on the go for work a lot. Fairly thoughtful...also fairly certain that these more personal items were completely DH's doing since, as the skids got older and became completely responsible for getting their own gifts...it's been more like candles and chocolate...generic stuff.

What would I get them if I could? A one-way ticket to anywhere they want to go...

I really want to give skids Sonicare toothbrushes.

Gift? From my SD? You're kidding, right? Twenty years and not so much as a handmade card. Nothing for her dad, either.

Pancake syrup, you cannot make this mess up, can you?

I used to get the same black scarf (she must have bought a ton of these), if lucky; other times nothing, now nothing. We live in one of the hottest locations in the country.

The pancake syrup would have been more useful.

I have sensitive skin and allergies, so SS gave me the strongest smelling lotions, shower gels and and liquid handwash soaps from Bath & Body Works over the years. I had to keep it in the guest bathroom or give it away to someone who could use it. SD gave me gift cards, which she now tells DH she considers to be "cold and impersonal".

My SD36 gave me back the first gift I ever gave her, unopened. I got the message.

I gave her a gift bag the first year DH and I were engaged that contained a beautiful Swarovski Crystal ornament. Three years later, she gave it back to me. I was delighted and thanked her profusely.

Just reading all of this I get so mad at my (and everyones) DH for not slapping the heck (I don't mean physically) out of these SDs.

Exactly what I've been thinking, what do all of your husbands have to say about these passive aggressive gifts?

I mean, neither my DH nor I get anything from his daughter, so, at least we are on even turf. But if she ever gave me any of this crap or something that I had given HER, my DH would have her ass. Not that she would ever have the moxy, but....

A key chain that was free inside a bag of dog food.... YSD didn't have a dog. I did at the time, but it wasn't from the brand I used to buy. LOL. I still have it! LOL
At least she was thinking of me.
This was before SO moved in with me, after which I received nothing. That year YSD brought in a gift for SO which she purchased from a school rummage sale and told me she couldn't buy me anything because I wasn't a real parent.

Older skids never bought anything for their dad or I except once, OSD bought us each something the last Christmas before she was fully PAS'd.

I started taking the skids shopping for SO. I would pay for the gifts and had the skids wrap them.

The last time YSD bought something for SO on her own was 3 years ago. She brought it over a couple of weeks before Christmas. She had it hidden in her knapsack and waited for her mother to leave before taking it out and putting it under the tree. She even looked out the window to see if she actually pulled out of the driveway. I sat there and watched her. She said "That's for daddy but I couldn't put his name on it. Sorry I wasn't able to buy you something". I told her that was okay.

After that year, he received nothing. That first year YSD told us everything she bought her mom' step dad and sisters. Personally I didn't care for myself, but I felt for SO when she brought up the gifts she purchased for her step dad.

Rotten meat. One year my SD sent us some steaks. Sounds great except there was no ice packs or anything to keep the meat cold...but it's the thought that counts lol. :?
About 3 years in a row she sent us a digital photo frame. Not that there's anything wrong with that but three years in a row?

What gift?

There are some people in this world I don't want a gift from.

My MIL would box up junk from her hoard. One year it was 1/2 used bottle of bubble bath with scotch tape around it.

(ok so it is the thought that counts, right).........

I've been lucky, I've never gotten used things. I seem to get a scarf every year. Which isn't bad, I do wear scarfs but not a lot of thought either.
I don't read too much into it. I'm hard to buy for, I tend to just buy myself what I want when I need it.

I'm wondering what you all say when you open these crappy gifts? Is it in front of a group of people or at home alone?

I'd honestly be tempted to post it on social media, full of pictures of the new gift for DH and the used stuff for you, with description and lots and lots of passive aggressive thank you for the thoughtful gift!

My SD has always given me yard sale stuff. Old books, with the price 50 cents still on them. Half burnt candle. Old picture frames. Stained serving platters. She even gave me a snack platter made out of a mashed whiskey bottle, UGLY. Last gift she gave was "ole" Mary Kay products from a yard sale, price 25 cents still on the bottom and they smelled old and rotten. Of course DH gets six-eight gifts under the tree that adds up to big bucks.

I say nothing, because I know my SD wants me to acknowledge and make drama out of it. I say thank you and dispose of the smelly crap.

I no longer buy any of my Skids any gifts, for any occasion; that's DH's job and has been for over seven years.

What would I like to give my SD. A banana peel on her icy door step and a trespass notice.

This year DH gave all of them a box of candy. I love it.

We have to come here next week at this time and tell what we all actually got! Looking forward to it!

SS and his GF gave DH some presents last year. Of course nothing for me.

I did get a very nice gift certificate for my birthday this summer - but I would be willing to bet that DH gave SS the money to buy it. DH is always trying to foster a relationship between us.

SS30 was being very pissy about only wanting money or gift certificates. DH ignored him and bought SS a jacket and GF a robe.

I've decided that next year I will give them a gift certificate to a grocery store. DH will not know how much so I can make it be for $10 or $20. Now to decide on whether to give it from Publix or from an expensive place like Whole Foods or Fresh Market.

If I ever receive a gift from SD (I won't), I will be sure to open it while standing in front of the trash bin with my foot on the pedal holding the lid open. Then drop and walk.

BUTTTT, my favorite gifts are the ones the bio's give, you know from the schools Santa Shops,

OMG.

They are given with such sweetness and joy on their faces.

Such a contrast don't you think?

I would have loved that too from the skids just the same IF I was ever given anything.

Years ago, we used to refer to BM as fruitcake. One year for Xmas, as a super thoughtful SM, I had the girls make her fruitcake as a gift... Cracked me up for a long time.

It's been a rough morning for me. Stepkid issues... This thread has brought a smile to my face. Thanks to everyone for sharing.

Most of my gifts from steps have been the tokens mostly from the dollar store. One year SS19 gave me a knick knack featuring two dolphins. His parents were into sea life and my DH nickname was fish. Not sure if he meant that the previous marriage is not over or what. He claimed it meant that me and DH were now married. Due to so many issues with this kid, including insincerity, were weren't sure if he was being honest. I didn't let him ruin my Christmas. It is hurtful, however, to see him and his siblings leave with nice gifts for their friend's families...

I've gotten, um, let's see..... nothing in the 12 years I've been with DH. Oh wait, I got a robe from DH's daughter's the first year we were together. DH picked it out and put his daughters name on it. I told him not to bother in the future and save the money.

The next year I took the girls (8 and 10 at that time) to Target to pick out items they could donate to Toys-for-Tots. I've never seen two girls more excited about shopping. We left Target and went straight to the local drop off spot. They told me they felt sooo good doing this for other kids that would otherwise get nothing.

My last good memory of christmis with these girls is 11 years ago. Sad.

OMG, I haven't posted on Steptalk in the longest time, but came here today as its the festive season and always raises memories lol! One Christmas, my step daughters have me a very small bottle of speciality vinegar that had dust on it! I reckoned it had come out of NPD BM's store cupboard and they'd dredged this up as suitable to give to the wicked stepmother.

Two years ago, SD13 (then 11) gave me a really crappy necklace she made.
She knew it was terrible, because I overheard her telling her sister that she was giving them (she made some "necklaces" and "bracelets") to people she didn't want to give a gift to. I said 'thank you' - set it aside and threw it out with the trash.

2 years ago ss26 got us each a cheap christmas pen. I got one that had a christmas tree on it and Dh a snowman. ss31 got DH a puzzle of a pin up girl and took great pains to shove it right in my face after DH opened it. ss31 then said in the most Beevis and Butthead way, "Hee hee, if you want a peek at her you'll have to work for it." The puzzle sits in a corner dusty and unopened, the pens worked for a few days then were done.

This year I found the perfect gift for SD36. Four jars of mustard in a gift box.

I found it at Menards and immediately thought about her. Every holiday that I hosted she always went into my refrigerator and whipped up her own mustard sauce and added it to my meal, as if my meal wasn't good enough and needed her to doctor it up.

I wonder if she will get the joke. :?

(As a bonus to her requested list she sent us)

I had it in my car, all wrapped and when the time came, I couldn't do it :O
I don't have the snark it takes, I admit it,. I have this hope that maybe if I set a good example for her, that her eyes will be opened that I am not the enemy.

I decided that it would make me feel better to do something really nice for her, even though she doesn't deserve it. I stopped at the grocery on the way to her house and bought her a bouquet of flowers instead. I don't know when the last time anyone's ever given her flowers, since she's been divorced 4+ years.

I hope this doesn't get me ejected from the SMs anonymous club.

My SO has his 2 girls full time ( except every other weekend ) . I was disappointed to see he didn't encourage them to even make cards or something ( anything ) for their grandparents , aunts and uncles that we would be seeing on Xmas. They didn't give him anything either .
A do a lot for them , so even a card would of been nice , but I didn't expect anything.

As an adult , I hate getting gifts unless it's cash Or gift cards. Candles and bath and body works stuff is fine to. I hate hurting feelings so I always say I like what I get , even if I hate it. I like what I like and usually just buy whatever I want lol.

Year ago , one of the worst gifts I've ever gotten for Xmas was a shirt that was way too big and had this huge faux fur detectable collar. It was from an ex's grandparents .

I guess it really is the thought that counts lol.

It's sad that parents don't really teach their kids the joy of giving and that Xmas isn't just a gimme gimmie present grab.

Ok, what did everyone get THIS YEAR?

SGD31 brought us a nice basket of goodies; all sugar for DH, who has to check his blood sugar once every morning; so he really needed a basket full of sweets; she knows I don't care for sweets, so she got me a candle and a bottle of sanitary hand wash.

SD56 and SGD31 (mother/daughter) are junk food addicts; so they think everyone else loves baskets and baskets of sweet stuff.

Now the kicker; everything was outdated on the sweet packages and the candle that was in a tin, the tin was dented; I could not get the lid off. There was sanitary hand wash that part of the label was missing; guessing yard sale items.

SD56 showed up the day after Christmas with a gift card to go to a steak house. Not bad I must agree. So it could have been worse.

It was the thought, I know. Gift card nice, basket of sweets we can do without. It's the same gift from SGD every year.

Not complaining. Lol...

SS26 did not get me anything. Didn't expect anything from him, didn't want anything from him. We're sort of in a "let's pretend each other doesn't exist" mode. He got DH a pair of gloves--probably in the $20 range. DH got him a tool box--probably $50 or so--and they've been hanging out together for the past 24 hours, probably paying for one another's ski lift tickets, restaurant meals, etc. At least I hope the cheap little b*****d has been picking up the check once in awhile. Meh. Not my problem.

Since SD doesn't have a husband or kids, we and her brothers family are the sole recipients of her gift giving. DH and I got 3 gifts each from her. I got a couple of recycled gifts, a candle and a Christmas CD from an unknown jazz musician. It's so awkward to oh and ah after receiving obvious recycled things, when you really want to do an ewww. The 3rd thing, Christmas hand towels, I liked.

DH got three pairs of cheap looking shoes. She should have just stuck with one quality pair.
Not a good gift because a person needs to try shoes on first. I guess I should be glad she didn't drag him around town doing shoe shopping like a mini-wife.

SS30something stayed away, so no gift exchange occurred with him this year; every year we have contingency plans for if he shows up or doesn't show up. This year he didn't respond to DH's invitation. Frankly I am relieved.

SD30something came after Christmas with SO and SGD1. We got a mediocre photo calendar (could have turned out much nicer if SD had just chosen some nicer photographs and put some effort into it) - includes photos of SGD, SD, SS, DH...excludes me entirely and will be hanging in basement if at all. Nice sweater for DH, tiny 1.6 oz container of lotion and lip moisturizer for me. Grandma and Grandpa ornaments. Scented candle, which we will burn outside next summer due to carcinogenic properties...DH has cancer, in remission.

SD is narcissistic, and since SGD was born, everything is perceived as revolving around the two of them and sometimes her SO. SD's idea of gifts are becoming limited to photo mugs, photo pillows, photo calendars, photos, and photo seasonal cards with photos of herself, SO and SGD on them. For some reason this makes me very unhappy. I'm going to have to buy a special chest to store this stuff in for DH, like one of our ST members did!

Just had a thought...I'm going to get some photo calendars, mugs, pillows and seasonal cards made, using photos of me and DH together in each photo, and these will our gifts to SD next year for SD birthday and Christmas gifts, along with cards made of same photos. See how SD likes it.

I've never gotten anything for Christmas from SS30. Last summer for my birthday I got a GC to a manicure place that I go to. Very nice, but I would bet money that DH gave him the money and told him to do it. SS would have no clue where I get my nails done. (and it's not something I do on a regular basis).

SS30 never gave DH anything until he hooked up with current GF who has a job, house and car. Two years ago DH got a picture of them that he never brought in the house. I found it in the car. I put it aside and tossed it when we moved. Last year DH got a knife which he liked. Nothing for either of us this year that I know of. I know I got nothing - if DH got anything I haven't seen it. I would never ask.

I honestly don't care at all. I'd rather they not get me anything.

My husband exchanged gifts with his family first and I heard one relative gave everyone fancy soaps.

A few days later, when it was time for us to exchange with SD alone at our house, she unwrapped the new computer case she asked for. Then she ran upstairs and came back down with a "gift" for me: that damn bar of regifted soap "wrapped" in the computer case she'd just opened from us. I took the soap out of her new case, baffled, and she immediately put out her hand for me to give back the case.

Classy.

SD 26 gives gifts and does try and put thought into it ( remember she's the major drug addict ) , this past chirstmas she got me a child's size throw blanket with Captain America on it (since I like comic books ), no gifts for any other occassion.  On a regular basis she shows up at our house with stuff she has (found???) and tries to give some of it to us, I refuse as they are either stolen or retrived from a dumpster or some weird swap she has done with gawd knows who.

The last gift that SD 20 got me was christmas two years ago, a Walking Dead Desk Calendar (one of those little ones) wrapped in the bag from the discount store.  This past christmas nothing but DW got a piece of wood with "Best Mom Award" written on it in glitter pen.No gifts for any other occassion or acknowledgement for that matter.

Any decent gifts I ever got was due to their mother when they were younger, now I just hope to not have to see them on holidays or any day for that matter, that's the gift that keeps on giving !!!!!!

The first year we were married, we got the one joint Christmas gift (none since) and it was a Christmas wreath made out of used shotgun shells.  Well, TSA had a field day with it (this was several years ago not long after 9/11)...it wouldn’t fit in our suitcase and we couldn’t leave it at her house, she insisted we take it on the plane....so TSA confiscated it.  I sent a nice thank you and never said a word to her about what happened. 

Since the hideous home invasion while we were on vacation in March 2017 I have banned SS33 and his GF from my life 100%.  Prior to that I always arranged presents for SS, the GF and their child.  Nada now.  Nothing for any of them from me.

DH did get a $20 present for the GC and the same for his son at Christmas time.  I don't think he got the POS GF anything.  He loves his POS son because he is his son - the GF - well no.

I don't think DH has received anything for Christmas, his birthday or now Father's Day.  He certainly has never even gotten a phone call.  SS and the GF are MAJOR PISSED that I no longer want anything to do with them.  Not because they give a "you know what" about me - but because they want to use my things - my lake vacation home, my vacation home and my 3 timeshares.  They are taking this out on DH.  Too bad so sad.

SD35 gave her FATHER, my DH, a handmade little card that said her Christmas gift was the gift of "presence." Meaning, she would try to be more present in his life. Um...yeah. That's called being a daughter and loving your dad. That's not a gift, cookie.

My husband never comes home with anything from SD on gift-giving holidays. She used to send him cards, but now it's always freebie "electronic cards."

I miss the paper cards she got him. One day I found a box of them he'd kept for years and read a bunch. Without fail, she always writes that she turned out so well because of him!

WOW! Half a compliment for him, and TWO self compliments for her! Sooooo classic SD.

Christmas Eve 2016 we received a box from World Market.  Inside was a tin of shortbread and the receipt.  The cookies were $2.99 and the shipping $4.99 ... no gift message just the receipt with SD name and address on it.  I sent a lovely thank you note with a PS that said "I am enclosing the receipt that was in the box in case you need it for your credit card records."  The tin of cookies sat on the counter until DH finally threw them out. 

we never ever receive anything from SDs. 

First Christmas his daughter put 4 cookies in a container and they were old. Next yr she gave us a banana bread and when we ate a piece it almost gagged us. We both hollered out omg and said it absorbed all our spit. I think she added poison !!!! Now it's gift cards thank goodness 

One holiday my husband was talking on the phone to his daughter.  He asked me what size shoe do you wear, 7 I said.  I thought I guess I'm getting shoes from SD.

I got:  two left foot slippers a size to big,lol

I concluded that SD made a mistake by buying someone else who wears a size 8  2 left foot slippers and thought to dump them on me!!!