At what age are they no longer a baby?
In my opinion an 11 year old boy is old enough to get himself out of bed, dressed and ready for school himself. Am I wrong?
My wife gets up at 7:15 to go wake her Baby up for school, even though he has an alarm clock next to his bed and a cell phone he can use for an alarm. She's in his room for about 5-10 minutes every morning.
He needs to leave the house by 8:50 to walk 2 blocks to get to school on time. The other 2 boys, ages 13 and 16 get themselves out of bed, dressed and eat breakfast in time to leave for the bus stop(which is right next to the 11 year old's school). The 11 year old can't seem to do that every day because he knows Mommy will give him a ride. Sometimes he can manage it but the last two days he's been dragging his butt. My wife and I have a baby due in December and I have told her before that she needs to let him start being more responsible for himself because when the baby comes neither she nor I are going to have time to cater to his needs. This morning, after she drove him to school, driving right past the two older boys walking to the bus stop, I reiterated my concern about him taking responsibility for himself and she immediately got defensive and it turned into a fight.
I try to see this from all perspectives and I know it's hard for her to let her baby grow up and I can't really blame him because it's really not his fault, she has spoiled him. But I think he's going to blame the real baby when Mommy doesn't have time to baby him anymore. That actually kinda scares me, I don't know how he is going to react to not being the baby anymore.
He's also a slob but that's a different story 
I really get so sick of
I really get so sick of stupid mommy-wars. You (not just downsouth, but the one above whose name I've forgotten) make so many assumptions. Be grateful for what you have, proud of what you have done and can accomplish. But what you have and what you can do/did do doesn't make you better (or worse) than anyone else. You don't know what crosses anyone else has to carry.
Do I get a mommy award,
Do I get a mommy award, please? I'm rather proud that I did not throw DD out the window when she would cry for hours during the colic phase.
I'm teasing about the award, not the pride. I think all moms (okay, not some of the BMS on here) deserve a pat on the back. None of us really knows and understands fully another person's experience.
I'm with moe. Your
I'm with moe.
Your experience is not everyone's experience. My oldest did Not sleep as a baby. Like if she slept 20 minutes every 4 hours I was thanking every deity there is for the quiet cause when she was awake she was screaming or eating. My husband traveled for work - was gone Sunday night until Friday night. Showers, dishes, laundry, cleaning were the last things on my mind. It went on for 4 months. At 4 months, she finally slept for 2 hours at a time during the night and still wouldn't nap.
Showers happened when another adult was in the house. Whether I could have safelyor not - my emotional state could not handle the idea of letting her scream alone for the 20 minutes it would take. going out was the same thing. DD did not sleep in the car. She screamed. She was also the loudest baby the maternity ward had ever heard from the minute she was born. There was no mewling newborn noise. It was screaming that puts most grown women I know to shame.
You have no idea what other parents are dealing with. People don't like to talk about their difficult issues, particularly with babies when they get slammed with crap like they just aren't doing it right, not trying hard enough, are lazy, need a parenting class or you should be happy you Have a baby cause so and so is infertile.
You guys are totally going to
You guys are totally going to hate me. But my mom woke me up with coffee every morning until I left for college. She did the same thing for my younger brother. Coffee part started around 14. (I have a coffee maker in the master suite now so don't worry I still get coffee asap lol jk)
My SS7 gets himself up dressed and feed. I have to remind him of some of the steps and tell him to hurry or he can't play. He gets a ride to school its 3 miles away.
There's nothing wrong with
There's nothing wrong with rituals like this, but babying a kid to the point that he doesn't learn responsibility, is something else.
"Beeb", I love this.
"Beeb", I love this.
Agreed! DH saw the light of
Agreed!
DH saw the light of this about a year ago.
Both SDs (10 and 12) get themselves up and dressed.
Every so often one of them will forget to set their alarm, but it's rare.
Esp. when SD12 is the last one to leave and if she forgets then she has to ride the elementary school bus (the horror!). LOL.
SD10 can get most of her bfast made but DH assists and sometimes I prep muffins or eggs or something on the weekend she can put in microwave (if I feel like it). SD12 is on her own for breakfast.
I don't see why transitioning kids to taking care of themselves is a bad idea.
She's doing him a disservice.
She's doing him a disservice. Enabling him to depend on her to be responsible for HIS responsibilities is all bad. He's too old for that sh*t. Time for him to be responsible for his own daily obligations. ITs not unreasonable. She needs to break this bad habit before she has a real problem on her hands.
Time to let him be late and
Time to let him be late and start spending all of his free time in detention. If he gets held back and spends a few years being ridiculed by the other kids in his schools then.... so be it and maybe he learns a lesson.
Your DW is going to cause herself some health issues if she does not shift her focus from babying an 11yo to raising a new baby.
Good luck.
15 lol Here is what WE did,
15 lol
Here is what WE did, if the Jr high school age can not get up, their bed time TIME is 30min earlier.
IF this still doesn't work, I kid you not we turned it back to 630pm one time. Well that fixed it.
LOL. That's a good one!
LOL.
That's a good one!
My mother (now deceased who
My mother (now deceased who would be 95 if alive) had many siblings. Her youngest sister (now in her 80s) has always been referred to as "Little Janie". "little Janie" has great great grandchildren today.
Thank you everybody, I always
Thank you everybody, I always appreciate unbiased opinions.
There seems to be mixed feelings about this subject so I apologized to my wife and told her that it's her choice on how she raises her kids. She couldn't accept that for some reason. My guess is she stewed on it all day and had a point to make and I spoiled it by apologizing and hoping we could put it behind us. Long story short it turned into a big fight and I got angry and slammed a couple doors (the kids were not home at the time) and now she wants a divorce. She says I will be happier if I don't have to deal with her kids and she will take care of the baby herself so I don't have to worry about that either. I have never said anything about not wanting to take care of the baby, in fact I'm very excited about our baby girls arrival. This has gone from a parenting subject to a relationship subject. I don't know what to do I feel confused, guilty, selfish and alone.