Does this ever end - Or do we deal with the madness of bio-moms forever?
:? So peeps its been a while - couple of months - not that it has been all fine and dandy but that we had very little contact with the drama queen (BM) which was working well, but DH needs to spend time with the SD's so - we trying to patch things up. In doing that obviously does not quite suite BM so drama drama.... the madness continues.
Anyhow, SD came for the the night and we asked her about senior school for next year - which one has she chosen etc. Her answers we that she did not know. Next thing we get an email from BM saying that we should ask her not put pressure on SD... had no idea asking general questions was pressure. So, we respond, asking the questions about school, and she then get a response to say make up your own story about whats happening with school.... I don't get it, really I don't.
By this age, 17 your step
By this age, 17 your step child should be talking directly with both her mom and dad for guidance and help. IF she still relies on Mommy and daddy to talk about it exclusively it may be time to teach her a little independence.
Does it ever end...sure when dh tells his ex to STOP. When he does that...it will be a start. Or vice versa gender doesn't matter.
"Does it ever end...sure when
"Does it ever end...sure when dh tells his ex to STOP. When he does that...it will be a start."
Roger that. Emphasis it will be a start.
But never fear; the beat goes on. Skid will pick up where BM left off.
DH does tell her to stop, but
DH does tell her to stop, but she never listens, boundaries don't exist. HCBM will find anything to critise. One minute I don't pay enough attention, next I ask too much. I do believe that she makes life difficult for them if they don't come back and say how much they hated it. If they say they had fun, then SD get treated like crap and told they evil, take after DH. So what choice does SD have but to make up stuff to get back into the good books of HCBD? Because spending time with DH and I is considered betrayal.
Why even respond to BM, I
Why even respond to BM, I would've replied with nothing more then NOTED and ignore the woman.
This clearly shows SD is playing both houses, with you and DH she sits and pretends to talk about her future only to run to BM and cry cry that you are putting pressure on her... in future I would not even talk to SD about her future, simply disengage, but being me I probably would ask her - on her next visit - so SD, BM informed us you felt like we are putting pressure on you? How did you get to that conclusion or is your life goals to finish school and sponge off people for the rest of your life?
I did not respond, even
I did not respond, even though the email was addressed to both of us. DH responded, asking about SD further education..... again, no answers, just criticism about all we do wrong. Then we stopped. No more. She can't ever answer any questions straight.... or even indirectly.
There is hope... if you and
There is hope... if you and your SO are true equity life partners, equity parents to any children in your home, and .... work as a team to keep the blended family opposition under control.
If you do all of these things effectively your Skid may even gain clarity on the toxic and shallow half of their gene pool and write them off entirely.
My skid did.
This sounds like a complete
This sounds like a complete mess. Definitely should tell DH to drop a set. Remind him she is the ex and you are not. He can choose to make one of you happy and if that's the ex tell him he needs to go be with her. Happy wife (not ex-wife) happy life. Sounds like your SD is playing two sides against the middle. It happens all the time...through the history of divorce and if she is 17 and still doing this I'm afraid you're just going to have to hang on for the ride. Maybe you two should sit her down and talk to her about boundaries. YOUR family. And what happens within it is no business of the BM and tell her in no uncertain terms that this is the rule...no sharing what happEns in your house. As it is a matter of privacy and respect. A life skill she obviously nEnds to learn. Also, stand you r ground with DH in front of SD and tell both that BM interferencE is not acceptable and there will be no responses to her comments. If SD continues cut hre off at the knees next time she brings BM into the conversation and say we are not going to play your game or her game. You are 17, grow up and act like a young adult. I'm guessing none of this will work but it's worth a try. You are most likely going to have to suck it up until she is 18 and out of the house. Also tell DH that once she is out there will be NO moving back in. A visit is one thing but no coming back home to live rent and expense free. She sounds like a spoiled manipulative brat. You'll get yours when the cold hard world slaps her in the face. I know that is what I am looking forwarD to with my 16 you SD who thinks the world and w owe her. She is a spoiled, lazy, dirty entitled piece of trash who refuses to listen to the truth, she makes up her own reality just like her mother. Good luck. I wouldn't wish skids on my worst enemy.
It is a mess. Have tried to
It is a mess. Have tried to sit her down. Well that was a complete disaster. HCBM will just say we are stressing SD out and make up some crap about been abusive then cut their contact with SD's and DH. It's really quite shocking and completely manipulated. SD's are 13 and 16.... still a long road ahead.