:jawdrop: you are an adult lady, you do not need to sit and watch shows with an 11 year old... I never even did it with my own bio, why the hell should I with a skid... sorry but if he wants to do it, he can, I will not.

Now we all know that life revolves around the poor kids who's parents got divorced and that their parents feel so sorry for them and stop parenting, because they are very special snow flakes...

You have a life Hon, it does not involve kids (hugs to you for not having your own, but it's over rated IMO - you can always have mine ) I will suggest, get your self a companion, a little dog or a cat or what ever animal you want..
I would go with a dog.... cause when skid watches TV, I can take my dog to the park, and enjoy a skid free hour or 3 with my dog.

If you are not into animals or can't keep an animal at your place, get hobbies, things you can do in your own time when skid visits... your partner can entertain the kid and you can have ME time doing what you love.. never feel guilty about it.... you just simply tell DH - not my kid and not my responsibility if you and BM wants to coddle a 11 year old.. go ahead, I don't have to, kid is old enough to entertain them self

It does not get any better as they age if they have a severe case of dadeeeee paranoia. Like Acratopotes stated, you will have to become very skillful at staying away from these indulgent displays of attention; and honestly, if you are not around, you might be surprised to learn how much less cuddling takes place. Most of the ridiculous behavior is because YOU are there, believe it or not (and, it works both ways),...it is crazy, but it is what it is.

I am so happy to have found this thread. I am dating an older man, we are not married, but have been together for 5 years. His daughter is 8 and she is the bane of my existence. I have 2 kids (16 and 13), but they are older and my son does not live with us full time. When we first started dating, I was fine with her. But then we tried living together, it did not work out (house was too small, no privacy), so my kids and I moved out and lived with a roommate for about a year. We are now on round 2 of living together as one big family and while it is not terrible, I can definitely relate to what some of you are going through. I can't stand it when she is around. My boyfriend claims that I am "cold and distant" and doesn't know why. I admit that it is very hard for me to communicate that "I don't like your daughter." But I have tried to relay that information to him. I just know that if the tables were turned, and he couldn't stand my children, I would be so hurt and completely devastated. I definitely sympathize with the guilty-feelings that you all are having, as I am consumed by guilt. The reason why it's especially difficult is that the girl is a good kid! She is polite, has nothing but love for me, is as quiet as a mouse and doesn't ever display any bad behavior. So I know it's me! I know part of it is jealousy and my own insecurities. He constantly brags about how smart she is and wonderful and I just don't want to have anything to do with her. She is a constant reminder of his ex. And we are not married - no plans to get married - so I am particularly sensitive to the fact that his ex had something with him that I will never have. His ex is even nice! Some of the advice I get is to try to develop a bond with her that doesn't involve him...but I just don't want to! I have no interest in anything she does. I am jealous of the time and attention that she gets. I hate when she crawls into bed with us. I try to go out with friends or do my own thing on the weekends that she is with us. But sometimes even that is not enough. I get a small break from her every week, but I am finding that it is just not enough. I secretly hope that she eventually goes to live with her mother full time. It is the only thing that stands between me & my boyfriend's otherwise blissful relationship. It would be helpful to hear some coping strategies...what do you all do when it gets to be too much?

How often does he get the skid? I used to feel ignored also when SS was around. But really…IMHO…(and yes people are about to freak out), That is the way it is supposed to be if he only gets the kid 4 days a month.

It sounds like he does not get him often so how about you take control and find other things to do on those weekends? It did not take me long (maybe a few weekends) to figure out that I was acting and feeling like a jealous, attention seeking, child when DH had SS. So if we ALL had to be around each other, I was pretty good at letting DH dote on SS. But I was not around SS too much because I let DH do his thing with SS while I did my thing.

Can you find other things to do when he has SS? And you texting DH when he has SS sounds like you are trying to make him feel guilty for hanging with SS and not you. Stop doing things like that hun. Good luck.