You are here

BREAK OUT THE POPCORN AND ORDER A BIG GULP!

sammigirl's picture

My SD56 never stops! It is amazing!

Long story short, after I band SD56 and SGD31 from my home and threatened a Restraining Order (<1 yr.), I have not seen or heard from them, until today. They text, call, honk, wave, every trick in the basket, to DH all the time, and I just ignore it. I don't ask or care. DH and I never, and I mean NEVER, discuss these two women.

SD56 and SGD31 (mother/daughter) had a big blow up with our SGS37, (SD's son/SGD's brother) about five months ago. It was over $$$ for SGS37's kids, that was saved for them for graduation; SD56 would not give them $$$ we all had been saving for them. I was not involved in this family dispute, even though SD56 tried to involve me in a text, which I have a copy. Bottom line: SGS37 told his mother, SD56, and his sister SGD31 to stay away from his family and never come to their home again. This feud has been brewing for several years, because SD56 can not keep her nose out of their life, just as she couldn't keep her nose out of DH and my life. So now SD56 is band from SGS's home and family, as well as our home, when I am home. SD56 has a long history of enemies (especially former employers), because she can not keep to her own life and mind her own business; thus she talks, gossips, too much.

Today, DH and I were out in front yard working; SD56's vehicle pulls into the driveway. Out jumps SGGS18 (SGS37's son) to visit with us. He is here visiting SD56 (his grandmother) for a few days. SD56 jumps out of the passenger side and runs over and begins visiting with DH, in our front yard. I ignored her. SD was using our SGGS18 to stop by and show that she is in control of visiting this GS.

Long story, she has decided she is going to take SGGS18 under her wing, because he has no job and no place to live and his Dad has set some rules in their house; SGGS18 has to grow up and keep a job. SD56 has taken him under her wing to show her son that she knows best. SD also thinks I will tell SGS37 that his son was here visiting and it will make SGS mad, because he told SD to stay away from his family.

Little does SD56 know that her son has told his 18 year old son that "he is on his own, because he won't follow the house rules; thus he doesn't care if he sees his grandmother (SD56); his choice, he is now an adult and chooses not to live at home, so he makes his own decisions".

Also, little does SD56 know, I will never mention to SGS37 that his son was in town, nor will I EVER get involved in this mess. SD56 is laughing, babbling to DH, and about 3 ft. off the ground, today, with "I'm in control"; so I'm loving this show. This will all backfire. Why? SGGS18 is a con artist. I love him dearly and he is as sweet as chocolate and very polite; but he is a con artist, and does not stick to the plan. He always is saying how he is going to go to college and blah, blah, blah. He was kicked out of his rental, lost his job, and his GF booted him; why I don't know. The kicker: SD56 is control and is going to fix it all; she is the expert on being a parent and knowing everything. Lol...

I just can't wait for this blow up and I'm just a spectator. I am so, so glad I'm totally disengaged. SGS37 knows I am disengaged and why; same reason he and his family are disengaged.

Bring on the Popcorn and a big gulp! }:) Not a word from me, just observation. Dirol

sammigirl's picture

P.S. I know SIL hates this circus too; even makes it more entertaining. $$$$ goes out of SIL's pocket and it doesn't set well. This SGGS18 is a Step-grandson to SIL; so it might get real entertaining

SIL is Law Enforcement and knows the game.

sammigirl's picture

wickedsm123: I am having fun with this one. It is just a matter of time and SD56 will get burned on this.

SD tried to drag me into the savings account drama with SGS37; didn't work, I ignored it. DH got dragged into their drama and I didn't even ask, just popped the corn and poured a glass of wine. SD got burned on the $$$$ drama, because it actually looks as if she has spent the $$$ saved and DH knows it, but will never admit that SD would do such a thing.

I do believe DH now understands, I may not be so much to blame for my disengagement.

I do appreciate you reminding me to stay away from the drama. Thank you!

sammigirl's picture

Thank you; it did take all the strength I had in me. I told SD56 to stay away from me; she purposely used SGGS18 to present herself.

All I could think of was throwing her off our property; but I ignored her and gave our SGGS18 a big hug and chatted with him, with my back to SD.

Oh, it will take some time, because SGGS18 will milk his grandmother (SD56) for everything he can get and she wants to be in control and let her son know she is in charge. Using SGGS18 as a puppet to play the game. SGGS18 is a good boy and has stayed out of serious trouble. He is just trying to get it together and knows how to use people to get him by.

But I will witness the fallout and she will be crying to dadeeeeeee......when SGGS18 goes his way and doesn't give her the time of day. That's the way this kid works; even though we love him, we know his game too.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

That is rich! What an entertaining cow SD is. And how healthy that you can watch the debacle without feeling one way or the other about it.

GIRL CRUSH!

sammigirl's picture

My SD56 has shown her colors so much in the past 2 years, since DH and I have put it back together, much to her dislike.

It is a joke to me now and the quieter I am and the more I disengage, the more colors she shows. She had a melt down in a two page email a year ago. I expect her to have another melt down before this last drama is over.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

What a hateful, win-at-all-cost b!/chi she is. Pure narcissism.

Acratopotes's picture

sammi - took me the whole day to stock up on popcorn, and ice for the cooler - we can not sit and enjoy hot wine Wink

sammigirl's picture

Oh yes, four generations right now. BM, SD, SGD, and SGGD8. They are the most devious women I've ever known. I often wonder how they can get by with it????

The KARMA visits and most of the time I know, because SD56 has whined to Dadeeeee.....

sandye21's picture

Good for you Sammi! Yes, I'm getting the popcorn and wine ready for the story as it progresses. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the sh#t storm occurs. Please keep us posted of the ply-by-play. LOL

I have a nephew like this. Years ago my Sister sent him to me so he could get his life together. He had the same M.O. - charmer, manipulator, loser. To this day I am to blame for his failure to become a responsible adult. I could care less.

sammigirl's picture

I also wish I could witness it; but I will hear about it eventually. The mood changes usually tells me when Karma has visited. Lol...

I will post here when it gets interesting.

SD went with SGGS18 for a job interview today; like he can't do it on his own; he is 18 years old and has been on his own since graduating last Spring. SD is so, so controlling! Wow! SGGS18 sent me a FB message telling me he has a job interview today. He stays in touch with DH and I often. This young man is very smart and knows how to do anything he wants to accomplish; we certainly are not concerned about his welfare. He also comes from good parenting.

When SGGS18 gets tired of the control, he will drive away for sure and then the melt down will begin.

Then out comes the celebration wine. Thanks for joining my party. Lol..

sammigirl's picture

I've tried and tried and tried; don't waste your time.

I'm happier just letting KARMA take over. Blum 3

jam's picture

Good for you Sammigirl. Don't get sucked in no matter how often sd56 forces her presence in your space.

sammigirl's picture

jam: Thank you for your encouragement; I need it.

I have to put every bit of strength I have in ignoring SD when she presents herself on our property. SD56 has been told to stay away from me and she is just attempting to get her self a trip to jail with "pass go and go straight to jail with no get out of jail card".

I'm serious, she's pushing it and DH and SD both know I'm very capable. So I'm keeping it cool. The door will open and I will step through it and nail SD. I will let Karma assist me and stay "on the right side of the law"; the wheels of Justice turn slow.

sammigirl's picture

I am strong because of all of you here on Stalk. I might be strong, but without you here, it would never have surfaced.

Thank you.

sammigirl's picture

UPDATE: I receive a FB message from SGS37 yesterday saying; "Thinking of you and love you". He hardly ever FB's me.

This tells me SD56 and SGD31 have let SGS37 know that they are involved in helping his son (SGGS18). They cannot mind their own business and leave SGS37 alone; SD56 is trying to stir it again with myself and SGS37. SD56 is visiting SGD31, with SGGS18 this week, in the neighboring State. SGS31 also lives in the same city.

My ONLY response to SGS37's message: "We love you guys too. Everything here is well. Have a nice evening."

No way am I EVER going to get involved in this mess or SD56 again. I may have to set her straight again about coming here, while I'm home. I've documented her stop and if it happens again, I will have a "cease and desist" served on her.

She never stops!

sandye21's picture

Sammi, I've had experience with self-righteous relatives who know SO much more than I do. SGS37 was telling you how much he appreciates the fact you are not taking part in this betrayal - and that is what it is. Your response to him was perfect. Please be speedy with the popcorn - the action is going to start very soon. Also agree with holding your ground about her coming around when you are home. This was not an emergency and did not warrant it.

sammigirl's picture

I plan to move forward with my boundaries and goals. SD will not deter me now or ever. I do not want her around me.

We have always tried to set an example for our kids and grandkids. It has paid off where our GS37 is concerned. He is the oldest of our three grandchildren. We lost our youngest GS30 1 1/2 years ago to Leukemia; therefore we now have two living grandchildren (brother/sister-SD56's kids).

When DH and I met, SD was too busy to care for GS37 (he was 18 months at the time). We had him with us 24/7 until he went to school at age 5. With that said GS37 is like our son and has always been very close to me, even though I am a SGM. GS37 has always called me "Grandma" and still does.

He has a beautiful family, holds a good job, and has had only one other employer in 19 years. He furthered his education and makes good $$$ and is raising three children, two who just graduated from HS last Spring.

We are proud of all of our (3) grandchildren (5 GGKids now).

GD31 has decided to join her mother (SD56) and be the joint family Alpha Female; another story. GD31 is not allowed at our home, when I am home, along with SD56. So they have earned the right to move forward without me.

CANYOUHELP's picture

HI SammI..

You know I think you have incredible spirit and determination, you have proven it and shown many of us the way. She is just being the bully she is and wants to put the blame on you, again, of course. Karma is working, I would say. She would be wise to leave you alone, but she is wayyyy toooo much of a controller to use her brain. She is so dysfunctional with everybody; glad you saw through her actions and continue to make the changes to increase YOUR happiness.

Love popcorn with anything....

sammigirl's picture

Thank you CANYOUHELP. Your support is very helpful and I enjoy reading your posts here.

Dirol

sammigirl's picture

SD is amped up!!!!! Pop more corn!

She has now taken it upon herself to buy a car for GS18. He just got his drivers license last week, no experience driving.

Two weeks ago, SD and SIL traveled to neighboring State (3 hours) to get GS18 a place to live; which he could not move in to, until he obtained employment. Last week, GS18 interviewed for a job and obtained a night job stocking shelves and a day job waiting tables. So at least GS18 is putting an effort; he has two jobs; if he will stick with them. Now tomorrow SD & SIL are again traveling to the neighboring State to purchase this car.

DH reports that GS18 is moving into an apartment and the jobs are way across town from each other, therefore, he will have to have a car; which I understand, nor is it any of my business, therefore, no comment to DH.

Remember GS18 WAS living with his parents, rent free, and they wanted him to go on to college; but he wanted to move out and go on his own (normal). His Father (SD's son) stepped back and wanted him to learn how difficult it is, without furthering his education (no financial assistance). SD56 decided DF was not being fair and she is now interfering; which his father could care less, as long as he's not breaking house rules at Dad's house.

So the show has began; (1) SD & SIL will probably put their name on the car as well and pay for it and pay the auto insurance (no driving experience), because (2) GS18 has rent, groceries, utilities, and of course he'll have to have fun money. (3) GS18 lives in a city, heavy traffic. (4) SD56 is doing all of this to be in control of GS18's life and go against GS18's father.

I think she is terribly bored. This should be good.

Now during all of this, in the past week, SD has been texting DH and inquiring how the sale of our house is going. We will be locating to the same neighboring State, if we sell our home. It is very busy showing and we have had a great deal of activity on it. It has been on the market 17 days and has shown 7 times, on repeat customer yesterday.

Remember I am totally disengaged (7 years) from SD56; I have blocked her from all social media, and told her to leave me alone and she is not welcome in our home, when I am home. Ugly!

I get 5 emails from SD56 yesterday evening, with 5 different listings for homes in the neighboring State, we are attempting to relocate to. What????? She stated "I think you need to look at these properties". They are not even in the area we want to move to????? I again blocked SD from my email and deleted them without reading them. The addresses to each property were in the subject line; I know the area well, because it is where I was raised, therefore I immediately knew they were within 5 minutes from SGD31, which I am also disengaged from (7 years).

I am traveling to the neighboring State tomorrow to visit my 100 yr. young Father; I also have an appointment to look at four homes; they are 10 miles from SD's email addresses. I refuse to be any closer, because I'm sure SD and SIL will move there also, when SIL retires.

This women is a control freak and will never stop. I will NEVER respond to her emails or reengage with her EVER! She is wasting her time.

sandye21's picture

She's ramping up alright! And it appears she wants you to move to a location where GS18 will have a place to go if he fails to launch or gets in a wreck. Every time they hint for you to take GS in, have your Dad stay with you for a while. Once GS realizes he is not going to be able to mooch off of you he will move back to grace SD with his presence - with his hand out.

SD would drive me crazy with her controlling behavior - orchestrating everyone's life as if she is directing a play. I know you will be restating your boundaries eventually but have faith in you to do it. Never-the-less, this is a real challenge right now. It is stressful enough selling a house. You do not need all of this B.S. added to it.

sammigirl's picture

GS18 nor anyone else is evading our home; we are too old.

She is beside herself, because we are moving and she lives just up the street and can't monitor us every minute, if we move.

She is a control freak!

SugarSpice's picture

isnt is great to be disengaged? all you can do is let everyone sleep in the beds they have made for themselves.

sammigirl's picture

I love KARMA and SD56 is about to receive yet another dose of it; she never learns, because being in control is her life goal.

She is pitiful at her age.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Agree with SugarSpice, we pave our own path in life and if we are wise, we only share it with people only worthy of our time.