SD's first period
Hey! I haven't used the forum for a while, but I thought I'd jump on and share this lovely treat! My stepdaughter arrived at 7pm yesterday for the weekend. My husband was just finishing up at the grocery store. When her BM dropped her off, she told me that SD had gotten her first period two days ago. I'd been in contact with her between two days ago and now and BM mentioned nothing to me about this. So, the three of us exchanged words over this news then BM left. SD and I talked a little bit about it and I asked her if she brought maxi pads with her. She said no, she didn't bring any. Not one. I asked her how long ago she had changed it and she said that morning before school. The odour was certainly an indication of that. Ick.
I know that we should've had some in the house to be prepared but I'm irked that she didn't bring any and that BM didn't give a heads-up on the subject a couple of days ago. So, my husband got home 2 minutes later. I texted BM about brand etc. because SD didn't know. Then I had to walk to the store to buy some. She's a total tomboy and has issues with cleanliness. I've been dreading this day! Hahah
Needed to vent! Thanks!
She's 11 and not really that
She's 11 and not really that independent. Going didn't really bother me too much, I was frustrated and wanted an excuse to get out of the house for 30 minutes. He's mentioned before that period stuff is "my territory" when it happens to her, which isn't fair but I can tell that she feels more comfortable talking to me about it. He did say "why didn't you text me? I was just at the supermarket." But he literally got home while I was texting BM about brand/type. She just had a shower and flushed the toilet after her shower 5 times. A little curious about this. hah
It's your territory? It's
It's your territory? It's not your kid! That makes this and all other discussions not your territory. That is his daughter so that is his territory.
She probably flushed her pad. I hope you don't have a septic system.
I'm all about helping a fellow female out with this kind of thing. But for him to just dump this on you is reprehensible. Better nip that in the bud.
I remember when my SD started
I remember when my SD started her period. When DH went to pick her up, she jumped in the car and said, "Hey Dad, I started my period and I need pads."
Her mother would not let her bring any, said that DH should buy her some. Not that he minded (at all) but what kind of mother does not let her daughter take pads with her? SD was more embarrassed about her mother, than talking about her period with her dad.
We had no issues with hygiene or her improperly disposing of her pads, other than her mother had not told her to wrap them in toilet paper before throwing them in the trash.
I have read horror stories on this site, though, so good luck!
I have read some really
I have read some really disgusting stories on here about period issues and I am forever grateful that DH and I only have two boys to deal with when it comes to that. My advice to you is to stay on the brim of the issue. Keep her midol stocked up and some tampons, pads and panty liners in her bathroom for when she is over. I wound't suggest she take a midol when she's cranky because she might take it personally so just have a general discussion about all of it. Like a five-minute run down: Hey SD, let me know if you have a change in preference of tampon/pad/liner and I will try to get them for you also I am keeping some cramp medicine in the cabinet in case you are feeling bad. Just so you don't overflow the toilet, make sure you wrap them up and put them in bathroom.
She's only 11. I don't think
She's only 11. I don't think she's ready for tampons yet. Not my place anyway. She's been told how to properly dispose of them, her mother explained it to her.
She seems to be doing ok with consistent pad changing while here with me. Though I have just noticed that she hasn't put any underwear in the dirty laundry hamper and she's been here since Friday. She may have had an overflow accident and is embarrassed. Going to talk to DH about that one. I know he feels a little uncomfortable discussing period stuff with her, but so do I. I know it's ultimately his job. He grew up with all boys. I mentioned to him that she was rather stinky on Friday night due to not changing her pad and he said: "periods have a smell?" I feel like he's completely lost on this topic.
I feel like a bit of a jerk if I don't help them through this. She's with us every other weekend, so maybe BM will nip some of these issues.
Thanks for the support!
I know and I understand that
I know and I understand that but my husband is not a very good parent, unfortunately. When DH and BM shared custody, I'm sure he was. BM and SD moved an hour away 3 years ago and now he's gradually checked out on parenting. I feel like I'm nagging SD or nagging him to parent her. If I disengage, then she is a dirty, neglected child in our house and that might result in BM calling him on it, but then I'll get tied into it. Then I'll feel guilty because I just sat back and watched it happen. It's difficult because in the beginning of our relationship I was very involved and wanted to be but then over the years, I felt taken advantage of and started to disengage which has caused some problems between DH and myself.
I just told him about the underwear and his response was " that's not really a 'Dad' conversation." I said it's not my conversation either. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I'm comfortable talking/nagging her about this. He said I don't have to talk to her but he's not going to either. He's just gonna make sure she brings new underwear into the shower this morning.
I just notice so many things that she does/doesn't do and he doesn't notice ANYTHING. It's frustrating.
I you give your husband pure
I you give your husband pure hell each and every time he slacks off, he will stop. Right now he knows he doesn't have to parent because you will.
Thanks child is not your responsibility. BM calling him out on not taking care of their daughter is a good thing. You stepping in and doing his job is not.
urg - I got involved with
urg - I got involved with this issue.... At that stage Aergia was a good kid lol, I noticed she did not do the things correctly, one day while we where driving to school I asked her....
I find it interesting how ladies deals with this, just to check if I do it the same, what did BM teach you, Aergia explained everything to me, how to treat over flow, how to dispose of her things etc. I knew fine BM did her job and I left it at that..... but still Aergia did not do as she was told to do, now 5 years later she still does not do as she was told to do....
SO once asked me to talk to Aergia about hygiene, I laughed and said, do not worry, i already did and BM told her everything and in the right way, guess you have to enforce it cause she's ignoring it all.... now SO is simply ignoring it as well...
I guess I'm lucky with this
I guess I'm lucky with this one since I'm the first one my SD came to when she got her period.
She knows the ins and outs about it as she's talked to her mom about it, but turns to me to really chat about it, regarding cramps, etc.
We have a really good relationship, so she's not afraid to ask me to get her "bread sticks" (what we call tampons.lol) when she needs them. Pads don't work well for her as she told me she feels like she's wearing a diaper..HA!!
I've known her since she was 8 and nothing was ever out of the ordinary for us, as I've taught her not to be ashamed. While buying myself feminine products, I just toss them in the cart like it's no big deal. Same thing with bras..as she was so ashamed to look at them at first. I told her that it was just like buying a swim suit top..grab one off the rack and throw it in the cart to try on. If it doesn't fit right, just hang it on the rack where all the other people hang their clothes after trying them on in the fitting room.
There is nothing to be ashamed about regarding feminine products or girly underthings..it's a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of.
Wow, BM is just a waste of
Wow, BM is just a waste of skin and reproductive capacity isn't she?
smh
Oh this sounds like my
Oh this sounds like my experience. Sent stepdaughter over on the first day of her first period with nothing. Told her to sleep on a towel...(she ruined my towel). Since my skids are obnoxious and rude and ignore me until they need something she slept on a towel and then tells her dad in the morning she needs pads. I was already at work...he calls in a panic and I say. Had someone asked me last night I would have shown her where I keep the 10,000 ( I'm a couponer..so it probably is a couple thousand) pads I have at home...I will not be coming home. They don't want to speak to me ...she can wait. Why would her mom not send anything or notify anyone about this????