A little background on me:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 1/2 years now, moved in together after a year of dating. I have 2 children from my first marriage a boy (14) and girl (11). I've been divorced from their father for over 7 years. My current has 3 living children girl (12) boy (9) girl (4) and one that passed away who would be girl (7). When we moved in together we lived about 3 1/2 hours from his kids and their mother. My children have always resided with me and have holiday visitation with their father who lives in another state.

Prior to us living together I had not met his children though he had met mine. I met his in March 2015 when they started coming to stay with us on the weekends. We lived on a ranch in the country with my children, horses, cattle and dogs. The kids loved coming to our home and we always had a really good time together. Im fairly strict when it comes to manners and respect, so that was something new for his children, but we've worked through it and they're behavior towards adults has improved greatly. They were really a joy to be around and I especially enjoyed his oldest daughter. Her and I became very close.

In February 2016 everything changed! My BF really missed his children, and their mother was starting to withhold visits, so together we made the decision to move to the town where his kids live. He owns the home she lives in and another two blocks away, so we moved to the other home and fought for 50/50 custody, which we were granted. So the kids stay with us one week Sunday thru Sunday then their mother one week the same.

Since moving here and getting the custody arrangement amended we've seen a drastic change in his children. To the point that they're not even enjoyable. Im trying very hard to be supportive but it's unreal and almost impossible to bite my tongue with them. They've become very rude and disrespectful, constant talking back, and even won't speak to me or my children in public if they are with their mother. I can handle it, but now they're starting to treat their father that way. I know that a lot of things are said at their mothers home because the 4 year old repeats them here often. And even though it makes me crawl out of my skin, I continue to bite my tongue. But it is causing serious discord in our home. My children's father is remarried and has 3 other children and my kids don't care for their stepmother much, but they know they have to respect her.

In our home, I feel like they don't respect either of us and feel there are no repercussions because their mother doesn't enforce respect and manners. Even down to table manners. I feel crazy saying all this, but it's EVERYTHING. I know the children need counseling desperately but I'm not their mother and I can't make that happen. A lot of their conversations revolve around the sister that passed, even by the youngest who didn't know her or the two oldest who couldn't possibly remember any of the comments they make. (She passed at 14 months)

I'm at my breaking point. I feel like no matter how much I give or go to make them feel comfortable they just hate our house. Help me!!! Any guidance to keep me from losing my mind would be helpful. I don't want to drive my BF from his kids but I can't have constant disarray in our home.