I am probably over reacting, so I would like to see if I am or not. I have been with my wonderful husband for 9 years. He has 4 kids, 3 boys 18, 21 & 23, 1 daughter 28. I have a 27 year old son. It is a normal split family, the boys mother tainted the boys relationship with their father for years by replacing him within weeks of the divorce. His daughter on the other hand is like his mini twin, they are so alike even though she was introduced to him 8 years into her life. They are best friends, I never tried to come between them and took my time inserting myself into all their lives. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. I am also Asian and my Hubz is American, not that it matters, but anyways, I am also a older sister to my (half) sister.

Now I am not going to tell you that I am a saint, cause I am not, I have snapped and reacted to the boys when they disrespected their father, I announced that we were no longer going out to eat because they order the most expensive dish on the menu and eat a few bites. I put my foot down on making different dinners for picky eaters. I did refuse to do laundry because I couldn't see their floor and their room was a pig pen most of the time. But at the same time, I did that to my own son, he had discipline and love, I don't know if I was a Great Mom, but I defiantly did my best with what I had, I was a single Mom from when he was 3 months old.

So my problem, as a normal step parent who treats all her kids as if they are hers. Doesn't use the "step" or "half" term in regards to siblings or children. My daughter is getting married in August, although we have contributed alot of $$ towards this Wedding, we have not been included in the planning of anything. Since the other side is considered wealthy, they have pretty much taken over all the planning, I maybe a bit bitter, however I am aware of the issue and deal with it very loudly in my car by myself. She stated months ago that her brothers were going to be ushers and she would let us know who was invited to the rehearsal dinner when we got to the closer date. Well we are here now, she came to pick her Father/Daughter song and let me know who was invited. She said, you, Dad, my brothers, her Grandmother (Hubz Mom) and Hubz sisters. I said okay, what is the dress code? Because (my son) would like to know, she turned and looked at my husband and said "I can't invite the world" and "don't make me cry" he said to her "Well is (my son) going to usher?" she said "No, my brother's are". I immediately walked out of the kitchen, I was so upset. I had always assumed that she considered him one of her brothers. I haven't talked to her since, however my husband has, he asked her why was (my son) was not ushering? She said because I want my brothers to....uhhh not really an solid answer to me, but okay and now she is telling him "I invited him to the Wedding isn't that good enough"? Not to mention all her "half" and "step" siblings are all in the Wedding. So, am I over reacting? I know it is her day, but I am feeling a bit left out for my son, who by the way is gay and I thought they have a Great relationship. Help!?