Firstly feeling jealous when someone else manages to get pregnant and you have fertility issues always causes jealously resentment and sadness. These are debilitating emotions so we focus on our anger at situation. Let yourself express these feelings
Second meet a therapist and discuss reasons for a baby. You seem concerned by this so handle it before you are pregnant as then it will be too late
Third you can still have a lot of fun with sd when you do get preg. BM baby is not the be all and end all
Fourth please ensure you are prepared should you get preg even now despite fertility issues- many women start folic acid too late and you need to start this before preg
Fifth get the fertility issue sorted and start trying actively for a child

I wish you luck

I was upset when BM got pregnant before me...she "didn't even want any more" which I'm not sure I believe but whatever. I had to wait for DH to get a vasectomy reversal and for us to move to a bigger house etc. So it was frustrating. It's natural to feel jealousy when someone get's something that you've been wanting, even more so because you were looking forward to getting to tell SD that she'll be a big sister!

But I realized it was actually better to have the second sibling! First my skids didn't want a younger sibling, and I think they were much more okay with it when I had my DD than when BM had hers because they already got used to it. Also, as is in my situation, your SD lives with y'all primarily, so she will have more interaction and will probably be closer to any child you have vs. the one BM will have! So don't stress, BM's baby will not diminish the wonderfulness of yours and SD will still be a big sister to yours too

I agree with ksmom14; BM had Spawn2 exactly a year before I had BS1 and it turned out to be a relief. I didn't have to shelter my newborn from him because he knew he was fragile. He didn't constantly complain to the crying because he was already used to it. He was young enough to keep all the "my mommy said to do this with baby" crap to himself but he still knew that I would have to hold the baby a bit more and give him more attention. I think for now you should let her enjoy being the only child in your household since she's about to lose that at her BMs. It is a difficult change for some kids to become siblings so use this as an opportunity to help her adjust, talk about the baby but also let her escape back into "single-childness" when she needs that attention.

It's normal to feel jealous when you're struggling with infertility.

I'm lucky that BM is 20 years older than me, so I never had to deal with her being pregnant. On the other hand, after I finally did get pregnant, DH had already experienced it all, so he wasn't as into the new experiences. That bothered me a bit, although I already dealt with that when it came to the wedding.

We battled infertility for 4 years, and they were awful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I will never forget the feelings even though I have children now. I still want another baby, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen, and aside from a couple cycles with Clomid, I'm not willing to go through that again. Definitely go see a doctor and start the tests. The younger you are, the better your chances if there is anything wrong. It also make take years to work. I honestly think going through IVF the first time flipped some sort of switch on my body and suddenly I was able to get pregnant.

I never knew how badly I wanted a baby until DH said to me, "We'll make some good looking kids." Suddenly I realized I wanted children with him. It doesn't matter why you want them. If you do, you do. For me, SD became less significant in my life once I had my baby. If anything, I like SD more because I had a reason to try to include her in our family, and not just try to fit into "her" family.

I hate hearing about pregnant people, I think I'd die if BM were pregnant after the BS I put up with, but I had a miscarriage a little over a year ago & a stillbirth for Xmas/New Year. I can't stand to be around pregnant people or babies, still. A friend (not a best friend or anything) was pregnant same time as me, we were due 2 weeks apart, I still can't see her & that baby, it pains me deeply Bc all I can think about is what I lost. I hate the fact that DH has a child with someone else & I can't, so I fully get that. I now have ashermans from placenta being left behind with my stillborn son & I'm now 100% sterile, haven't had a single period, worried I'm developing endometriosis, it's a disaster.

We are looking into if surgery can correct things, I go in late July, but as of now I'm 100% sterile & never going to have a baby. It's a very bitter pill to swallow, that after so much loss I'll never have a happy ending with a child of my own, & that I am raising another persons kid when I can't have one & have lost 2, that a bloody dr error made me sterile. Yeah I get it & it's normal.

Counseling helps, gives you a place to vent. There are support groups for infertility & for losing a baby, but I don't find them helpful on the emotional aspect of raising someone else's child through it. I think it's just taking it one step at a time & 1 day at a time & talking to like minded people, so you feel understood.

You want a baby. That is all of the why you need to consider. End of discussion.

Quit second guessing yourself. It is certainly possible that you are stressing yourself over this to the point it is impacting your ability to conceive.

Take the steps you need to have the baby and screw BM or anyone else and their irrelevant motives.

You and DH are the only ones that matter in this topic.

Good luck.

I seem to have some unexplained infertility going on and I have major pregnancy jealousy. I also sort of "go back and forth" about whether or not I truly want a baby right now as the feeling is much stronger when the skids are gone. When they are around I actually question if I could handle a baby. I find spending time with kids to be very mind numbing after awhile.

I also feel extreme envy that BM falls pregnant at the drop of a hat. It just isn't easy to be around another woman's kids when you are struggling to have your own. It is extremely emotionally draining and I am lucky DH is sensitive to the situation and stays positive and optimistic because I have had some dark days.

Try to focus on your family and ignore the rest; easier said than done, I know! Good luck.

I suppose as a man I don't get it. I care not that the SpermIdiot shoots a baby every time his giggle berries discharge. He is a useless POS and the best part of him I raised as my own, SS asked me to adopt him, he took my family name, and he has left the fertilIdiot and the three younger also out of wedlock spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas along with the rest of the spermclan far behind him. There is nothing special about the body doing what it does. I have no biospawn and feel that I have missed not a thing.

I have friends and family who tell me that since I have not spawned that I could not possibly know what it feels like to be a REAL parent. This is just stupidly rediculous to me. Having a kid takes about as much performance as taking a dump. What you do to raise a kid is what is important.

Do not cheapen your opinon of yourself because some woman who had no business spawning in the first place made yet another stupid decision. Her choices have nothing to do with your sitution. You will have your baby and you will be a quality mother unlike BM.

Relax, it will happen.

Stress and emotion play hell with conception. Deep breaths.