I can not warm up to sd. I just can't. I feel like possibly the worst step parent, but this ain't happening. The air is always thick.
Am I the only one?
I can't stand my SS. He's 20, and loud, and unambitious, and obnoxious. DH is a little sad that I'm not bonding as a parent with the kids, but he's accepted that I'm not going to be another parent to them. (We saw a counselor last year and she also confirmed to him that I would be more of a role model to them than a parent, which he's come to accept).
One of my friends told me that it's too bad to come into their lives at the horrible teenage stage...you don't have the "cute" years to look back to to remember when they are being teenage jerks.
Thanks all. My sd is almost 9... I been around since she just turned 7... and I just can't bond with her. I don't know how I will survive a decade (plus) of this. I need a hobby/friends. Lol
Find a wine you really, really like. And an online book club. Get a Kindle. Put a chair in your bedroom, with a reading light over it. with a small table just large enough for the bottle of wine and your wine glass.
Stay there as long as your SD is with you guys, only emerging for a fresh chilled bottle, or meals. Even then, a lot of places deliver as little as one meal.
You'll emerge from the next decade cultured and refined.
I also approve of good IPAs or Hard Ciders in place of the wine.
I dislike the way my skids treat DH. What I have figured out is that I don't have to bond with them. I just try to be a positive role model and a great wife to DH.
Oh dw and I have great open dialogue about it all. It's just I can't bond with sd. She just isn't a kid I can bond with. She is loud, obnoxious, has horrid table manners, and is obsessed with video games. I just never wanted that sort of kid and would have raised a bio of my own totally different.
Everything but the obsession is a parenting fail. Can't expect others to accommodate you with their personal interests, but volume, appropriate behaviour, and good manners are for a parent to instil. Or not.
I can't stand mine either but I have come to the conclusion that most of the blame lies with DH. He never has taught skid21 how to be accountable/ responsible, never calls him on anything, lets him get away with everything. Skid is entitled but he was raised that way. The other thing I can't stand is the way DH behaves around skid, it's like he has his nose up his ass.
Yes. I know where the blame really lies. Right now my wife is in sd room because she is crying that we adults are going to bed at 9... wife goes to work at 5 am and I have a habit of going to bed and waking with her. This is not fair to sd (eight) who thinks 9 is far too early. She has been with her bio dad who is one of those all night gamers.
It's always the worst when she comes back from a long stay... but it's never easy.
I hear you. I am close to the skids but there is ALWAYS that underlying awkwardness - especially with cuddles, hugs, stuff like that. It makes me sad. They are my "family" in DH's eyes, but deep down they are house guests and definitely not my kids. My dog is my kid. My dog is loved unconditionally. The skids are loved in a detached way... tolerated...
I can't stand my SS. He's
I can't stand my SS. He's 20, and loud, and unambitious, and obnoxious. DH is a little sad that I'm not bonding as a parent with the kids, but he's accepted that I'm not going to be another parent to them. (We saw a counselor last year and she also confirmed to him that I would be more of a role model to them than a parent, which he's come to accept).
One of my friends told me that it's too bad to come into their lives at the horrible teenage stage...you don't have the "cute" years to look back to to remember when they are being teenage jerks.
Thanks all. My sd is almost
Thanks all. My sd is almost 9... I been around since she just turned 7... and I just can't bond with her. I don't know how I will survive a decade (plus) of this. I need a hobby/friends. Lol
Find a wine you really,
Find a wine you really, really like. And an online book club. Get a Kindle. Put a chair in your bedroom, with a reading light over it. with a small table just large enough for the bottle of wine and your wine glass.
Stay there as long as your SD is with you guys, only emerging for a fresh chilled bottle, or meals. Even then, a lot of places deliver as little as one meal.
You'll emerge from the next decade cultured and refined.
I also approve of good IPAs or Hard Ciders in place of the wine.
YES! To the wine suggestion.
YES! To the wine suggestion. My skids know step mommy loves her wine. I have a glass in hand the majority of the time they are with us (EOW).
I dislike the way my skids
I dislike the way my skids treat DH. What I have figured out is that I don't have to bond with them. I just try to be a positive role model and a great wife to DH.
Great idea, really. I love
Great idea, really. I love when sd is gone to her bio dad's .... normal newlywed things can happen and no set bedtime! Lol
Oh dw and I have great open
Oh dw and I have great open dialogue about it all. It's just I can't bond with sd. She just isn't a kid I can bond with. She is loud, obnoxious, has horrid table manners, and is obsessed with video games. I just never wanted that sort of kid and would have raised a bio of my own totally different.
Everything but the obsession
Everything but the obsession is a parenting fail. Can't expect others to accommodate you with their personal interests, but volume, appropriate behaviour, and good manners are for a parent to instil. Or not.
I can't stand mine either but
I can't stand mine either but I have come to the conclusion that most of the blame lies with DH. He never has taught skid21 how to be accountable/ responsible, never calls him on anything, lets him get away with everything. Skid is entitled but he was raised that way. The other thing I can't stand is the way DH behaves around skid, it's like he has his nose up his ass.
At least he no longer lives with us.
Yes. I know where the blame
Yes. I know where the blame really lies. Right now my wife is in sd room because she is crying that we adults are going to bed at 9... wife goes to work at 5 am and I have a habit of going to bed and waking with her. This is not fair to sd (eight) who thinks 9 is far too early. She has been with her bio dad who is one of those all night gamers.
It's always the worst when she comes back from a long stay... but it's never easy.
I hear you. I am close to
I hear you. I am close to the skids but there is ALWAYS that underlying awkwardness - especially with cuddles, hugs, stuff like that. It makes me sad. They are my "family" in DH's eyes, but deep down they are house guests and definitely not my kids. My dog is my kid. My dog is loved unconditionally. The skids are loved in a detached way... tolerated...