Selfish Grown-up Step Daughter
I have 5 step kids. All grown up. I have 2 boys of my own, 21 and 23. The 21 year old lives with us and pays rent. The 23 year old lives on his own. He has 5 kids, 4 boys all grown up and married, one daughter 24 who lives with us. She doesn't have to pay rent. Is suppose to be getting out of debt and has been living free, coming and going as she pleases for 6 months. She NEVER lifts a finger around the house, she doesn't cook, help with yard work. She is absolutely the most spoiled, self centered disgusting young lady. Her bedroom is beyond gross. She wont' stay home for us to even go away for a weekend, so we have to get my older son to come over. She pays no rent because she is suppose to be getting out of debt, so after living off us for 6 months she just booked a 2 week trip with a girlfriend to Belize. I think this is horrible. My husband says nothing, just shakes his head. She is basically going on our dime, as she pays for nothing at home. I want to kick the little tramp out...but it's his "little girl"... barf!! How can I get my point across without ruining my marriage. I'm ready to leave... I HATE that she lives in my home, disrespects it as she uses her bedrooms as a dumping ground. OMG!! A young 24 year old woman... who lives like a pig. GAG!! Help me!! Someone!! 
yes, I kind of messed up
yes, I kind of messed up there.. we have 3 dogs, all rescues and we need someone to look after them. She won't stay home to do that for us, so we get in my son.
She's just so selfish and she seems to come first... her wants and needs... grrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm so sick of it. All her brother are sick of it too..she gets way more than anyone else..always has!! I hate it...
So two options here You go to
So two options here
You go to dh and say wonderful as sd has booked trip she must be celebrating being out of debt. If she is to stay longer she needs to abide by same rules my son has in the house and pay xxx amount. She also needs to do xxx around the house as she won't have to work so hard now that she has fixed up her finances
Or
You leave or kick husband and his daughter out.
Decide what will work best for you long term. The thing I find is that many of the men who take second partners don't care enough about them - they want someone to do the heavy lifting and have sex with.
This girl is lazy spoilt and entitled - remove her from your life effective immediately and if that means dad needs go to for allowing it then that should happen too. But draw your line in the sand and stick to it
It's terrible how you have to
It's terrible how you have to tread lightly when it comes to the Skids!
With my own I can just tell them like it is. I have a 22 year old that is home from college. Her full time summer job fell through so she is only working a couple of hours a week. I told her that if she wasn't making any money to contribute then she would be "helping" me in other ways so I make her a laundry list of household chores that need to be accomplished before I come home from work. So far so good.
Adult SS is another story. We are paying his bills while he is doing who knows what with his money. He does not live with us but we are paying all of his bills because BM threatens to take us back to court for child support if we stop and in our state it would go in her favor. It just kills me that we are paying these bills and he has money to get tats, rent a condo at the beach, and go on casino trips and who knows what else.
With your SD maybe if the timing was right you could say to her that since she is living with you and not paying rent that she will need to help out around the house and give her a list of chores. You will need your husband to back you up.
I then think that you should come up with a time line on how long she will be living there. Tell her that you want to help her with her bills and ask her to get them all together and sit down with her and come up with a payment plan. Once you see where she is financially you will get a better picture. Then check out apartments and find out how much the rent is and ballpark the utility bills. She will probably need to save three months rent plus one months utilities and food. At this point you will have a plan on when she should be able to move out. Good luck!
When your SD returns from her
When your SD returns from her trip, announce a "surprise" family meeting. YOU tell her what you expect, with your DH sitting at the round table. Don't involve DH, just talk to your SD with DH present.
Set boundaries and set a rent amount; stating that you feel she is ready to begin standing on her own two feet. State; "obviously you have your debts caught up, so...." Be prepared to stand your ground and state you wishes very clearly with no further discussion. Stay calm and civil and straight forward and honest. Don't allow any argument; just say this is the way it is going to be. Do not make threats, just tell it the way it will be, and it will begin immediately, no time lines.
Keep us posted
Good Luck, you can do this, I did it with my SS!
Take it from someone who now
Take it from someone who now has a 36 year old lazy, selfish SD----it will NEVER change. I threatened divorce and got into counseling. Told DH if he gave her ONE more dime, I am GONE. I know, this sounds harsh, but many of us here know the reality.
oops, sorry--I hit send
oops, sorry--I hit send twice!
UGH...there's NO WAY I'd put
UGH...there's NO WAY I'd put up with this. This is why I live in MY house with MY name only on the deed. If my boyfriend EVER wanted Princess to move in here, I'd forbid it. They could go get a place of their own. Such b.s. If she has money for Belize she has money to pay rent with a roommate. Your DH should be embarrassed.
Move her crap out while she's
Move her crap out while she's gone. Put a lock on her door, send her to her mother.