Should I remember SDs son on birthday?
Background: I have disengaged from the step drama. 36 year old is actively trying to get pregnant, already has one child and she never went after biodad for support. It was us who supported her. Her new boyfriend has no job, JUST had a new baby 3 months ago by ANOTHER woman and he has a toddler by yet another woman--of course, doesn't support either one.
Older SD ignores us except when she wants to come on vacation with us. She recently ignored my son's birthday, and NEVER sends a card for Christmas, Father's Day or my husband's birthday. He doesn't even get a phone call.
Today is one of the older SDs son's birthdays. I'm usually the one who reminds my husband. She, of course, posted on Facebook that it's his birthday.She never responds to any of my posts---however, since I've disengaged, she is now "liking" some posts. Too late.
Should I post a happy birthday to him? I'm a very compassionate person, so this part of disengaging is difficult. I want to disengage totally.I've seen this SD's kid--maybe three times in his life and he's a teenager.
Why engage now and open
Why engage now and open yourself up to what you know will happen.
We did send a card and gift.
We did send a card and gift. My question is: should I respond on FB? Two wrongs don't make a right. She ignored my son's birthday (every year for 20 years). Or, am I being petty?
Why are you fb friends with
Why are you fb friends with her was my first thought.
DH and you have already acknowledged the SGS's birthday directly to the teen (gift/card). That's really who the acknowledgement should be towards. As BM is posting on her fb you need not respond. If the teen SGS has his own fb you could send him a direct message in private messages to wish him a great day or on his actual page if you're 'friends'. You have already acknowledged, so even that is optional.
Keep the relationship IRL (In
Keep the relationship IRL (In Real LIfe) with the kid, virtual clicks and comments mean next to nothing.
No, you should not respond to
No, you should not respond to her FB post.
Agree with Echo.say and do
Agree with Echo.say and do nothing. I went through this with stepgrand kids too and it was hard. But if I am disengaged from her this unfortunately includes her offspring.