How to deal with jealous 5 year old step daughter?
Ok i am a 30 year old male. I have been dating her mom for 2 years now. I met her daughter when she was 3. My problem is everytime her mom and i kiss or hold hands her daughter gets upset and acts out. She seems to have some kind of hatred towards me. Sometimes she ll do things like grab her moms hand away from me in attempt to make me upset "but it doesnt" just her intention of attempting to make me upset is alittle disturbing. If her mom grabs my hand again she ll throw some kind of tantrum like her mom dont love her. This is only a ONE example. We have explained that just because we love each ither it doesn t mean that her mom doesn t love her but it doesn t seem to register. I also have 2 children of my own and when my gf shows any affection towards them my step daughter also gets upset then pouts or acts out. After 2 years i would have thought she would be over it but she s not.I tried to show the little girl that i care by trying to show some affection like giving her a hug but she just doesn't want me to touch her half the time she gets mad if i even look at her. Any advice on whats going on or what to do? Its becoming over welming.
I forgot to mention even when
I forgot to mention even when im driving in the car and holding hands with my gf her daughter will get upset and acts like her mom should stop holding my hand and reach in the back and rub her leg instead. Things like that..This is all constant jealous type stuff and its been 2 years.
Attention seeking. Not at
Attention seeking. Not at first though. At three she would have perhaps been a bit confused and not wanting to share her mommy. Yes, jealous of sharing her little world and the people in it.
Two years later and temper tantrums to the point she gets 'mad' you even look at the kid? Now it's called playing you but especially her mother. She's learned it works for her. What better way to be the center of attention if not act the obnoxious brat?
It works too, right? Mom is going to have to handle this. It's not something you can do... well, at least not without coming out the evil horse's a**.
It's very hard for them at
It's very hard for them at that age to still express themselevs. Has her mom sat with her and asked her why does she behave like that? If so what has she said?
I have to ask as well where is her dad in all this ? I get jealousy but after two years it's a bit much. Is he in or out of picture?
If you can't get an answer to the bad behaviour you may have to ignore it or discipline it ' we don't grab/ we don't throw tantrum when we don't get out way' it's okay to be sad it's not okay to be a brat and make everyone miserable
If you still are interested in bonding with her;
Could you find an activity to try that is just the two of you- so say mom goes out for an hour and you and sd do a puzzle, bake some Rice Krispies what ever. Start the activity before mom leaves for a calm start and continue it on after. Maybe that may lead to some bonding
If non of the above works, well you may have to have a long think about leaving- I know you love your partner but this is only the start of your misery- you are still very young with chances to find someone else and you will understand their perspective because you have been on step parent side.
Thanks for the feedback. The
Thanks for the feedback. The Dad is still around but only takes her every other weekend sometimes but rarely more.
And her mom has asked her.
And her mom has asked her. Her answer seems to be she only wants her mom to love her nobody else. Sometimes it causes us to argue.