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I'm a new parent to begin with, my BD is only 3 and I'm still learning how to be a good mom to her. Out of my fiance's 4 kids (SD12, SD9, SS7, and SD4), SD9 is the one that neither of us can get a handle on. She was great when the relationship started, she was pretty quiet and calm. After we found out we were pregnant (it's a boy), and the final divorce hearing where I was finally awarded sole custody of my BD (BF isn't involved in her life), a switch flipped. I've been kicked, screamed at, slapped... It doesn't matter what he's said or what I say, it just keeps getting worse. Now she's starting to turn on the younger kids. Help?

She has been telling her

She has been telling her teacher at school that we've been abusing her, and telling her dad that I don't love her, I don't want her, and I don't care what happens to her. She's had CPS called on him twice, before we met. I'm at a loss... And we can't afford therapy right now. She's an Angel to her teacher and his parents, but a devil in the house.

He's at the end of his rope,

He's at the end of his rope, and I'm having complications with my pregnancy. We are fighting to keep the apartment, have state assistance for good, and she complains that because we don't spend money on her he doesn't love her. Her pattern is get in trouble, and go to someone who will feel sorry for her when she cries her story. Then they come after us. Because she's such a good actress, we get nailed for her subbing her toe on a corner.

for food stubbing her toe

*for food
*stubbing her toe

If she has medicaid, they

If she has medicaid, they will pay for therapy for her. Also, does your fiancé have sole custody of his children?

Yes he does. As for the

Yes he does.

As for the therapy, we'll find the book that says what is or isn't covered. That is a good point, and easy to forget with everything else that's going on.

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(doing too many things at

(doing too many things at once and got posters confused... my sincerest apologies)

where is her mother????

If you're referring to SD9,

If you're referring to SD9, she up and left when SD4 was 8 months old. She calls about once every 3 weeks. If that. She pays no child support, has no rights to the kids, and didn't start calling SD12 until she heard he and I were together for two months.

Yes, that's who I was talking

Yes, that's who I was talking about. If fiancé can he needs to go after their mother CS. Next, I respect that you are in love but move out with their your daughter. CPS is nothing to play with. You need to protect your child and unborn child.

Pepper spray and zip

Pepper spray and zip ties!

Keep a micro recorder on you at all times to record her crap. Set it to auto record any time it picks up voices. If necessary go with webcams in your home to protect you and everyone else if she gets violent and drastic physical action is taken to protect others from her crap. Recordings don't lie and will expose her lies when she tries to call CPS or manipulate. If she so much as gets lippy shut her down immediately and if she gets physical mace her ass and hog tie her with the zip ties like the feral animal that she chooses to behave as and call 911. Each and every time.

I don't give a flying rats butt that she is only 9. She gets the full physical consequences of any violent behavior she chooses to take. If she so much as touches any of her sibs, either older or younger, she is fricking gone immediately never to return. No kid takes precidence over the health and safety of the family. Ever.

Let the little shit stew in the pepper spray until the police show up to haul her ass off to juvi.

I would.

If this kind of behavior was met with a paddle to the ass rather than a talking too it would end immediately.

As Echo indicated the consequences for her chosen behaviors should not only be a stinging butt, a pepper sprayed stinging face, zip tie constraints, and being hauled off to spend a few nice with some truly tough juvi cases. The consequences should also include a life of minimalist deprivation and abject misery until she earns it back slowly and incrementally with perfect behavior.

Zero tolerance, bring the pain.

In closing, where is her father in all of this? That he tolerates his spawn assaulting his wife and his other children without immediate devastating consequences tells me that he needs to put his hand between his legs, grab a big handful of man sack and step up.

All IMHO of course.

I was raised with spankings.

I was raised with spankings. I'm completely against abuse, which is the improper use of it. I'm not saying go out and grab a switch off the tree. Regardless, I do like your idea. She popped her air mattress last night and demanded a new one. I had already spoke to him about making her sleep on the floor with her blankets and pillows. Can't take care of your own bed? No mattress. Can't take care of an electronic device without breaking it? Don't need one. Can't take care of your toys? Don't need them.

Sorry Echo. In my rant I did

Sorry Echo. In my rant I did not make it clear that your recommendation should be added to mine.

There is a big difference between corporal punishment and hitting. A spanking is not abuse nor is it hitting.

Hitting is hitting, slapping is slapping, spanking is spanking. Blending definitions does not give clarity.

I haven't tried the

I haven't tried the recording. Thank you for that suggestion.

He has spanked her. Every time. That's why I ask for advice. Because we have tried taking things away and tried spanking. We've even tried the new age "redirection." His other 3 kids even get after her, especially SD12. He quit going to school to stay home to make sure she doesn't cross the line again. She hasn't hit me since November, and she tried this month but he caught her and spanked her good (in my honest opinion.) I respect your honest opinion, and I thank you for it.

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Good grief. Why are you

Good grief. Why are you making more children when you can't afford the ones you have? Just because you have a uterus, doesn't mean you should use it all the damn time. You have a brain and your husband has a brain use it to get a job and pay for your own children yourself. Not us taxpayers paying for you guys.

But your stepdaughter is smarter than all of you put together and she sees what a messed up household she is living in and she is pissed off. She's angry that she was born to such freaking losers. I don't blame her being pissed off. An air mattress on the floor? He quit school to try to take care of her And continually beats her?!?!?!?!!!!!?????

She knows in her heart that this is a messed up situation she's born into. I don't blame her one bit for being angry.

And stop making babies, go get a job and your husband needs to go get a job. Good freaking grief.

She has been telling her

He's at the end of his rope,

for food stubbing her toe

If she has medicaid, they

Yes he does. As for the

*

(doing too many things at

where is her mother????

If you're referring to SD9,

Yes, that's who I was talking

Pepper spray and zip

I was raised with spankings.

Sorry Echo. In my rant I did

I haven't tried the

*

Good grief. Why are you

Yeah,I agree, why is this man

And another thing, do you do

The BM is a LOSER as well!!!!

She already has a kid she

How many towels do you have?

too fast

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