In-Laws
My In-laws treat the my bs (who is there bio grandson) different then they treat my SS. My SS gets spoiled from them like a ton of presents and they take him on special trips just for him and them. But bs didn't even get a card for his birthday. I am pissed and DH keeps trying to talk to them about it but they are avoiding it. My MIL would flip shit if I "forgot" to send a card. When DH talked to them the only excuse is that bs is a baby and doesn't know. As of right now bs doesn't know them at all and is close with my parents. I refuse to put in effort to help them have a relationship. I am just hurt how can they do that to my son. I know they worry about SS cause his mom's family is not normal. I guess my big question is what would y'all do? Call them out causing huge family issues for DH? Avoid them and ignore them? Or pretend everything is fine?
I understand you are pissed
I understand you are pissed and hurt for your child, that is totally understandable. I would say something. If it was me, I would nicely bring up that you hope ds will grow to be as close to them as SS is. See if they get the message. Let them know you are thinking of a night off and ask if they would like to watch DS for you? Some people are jerks, some are totally clueless. If they are jerks, ignore and avoid them, is what I would do.
They live in a different
They live in a different state.
Both boys are their Bio
Both boys are their Bio Grandchildren
They don't like BM. They
They don't like BM. They have always been nice to me and supportive of mine and DH relationship. They are 100% aware of why there was a divorce and what went on before the divorce.
DH needs to speak to his
DH needs to speak to his parents again. He needs to tell them that their behavior is unacceptable. It is unacceptable to give one of his sons gifts and not the other, no matter what the age of the child.
Your BS, his younger son, may be young and not know, but their son, your DH, does know and needs to tell them in no uncertain words that this is unacceptable. He needs to tell them that their behavior towards his youngest son hurts him also.
Bare their idiot assess each
Bare their idiot assess each and every time they pull this bullshit. Stick to the facts. They are neither good nor bad but they are great for barring the asses if toxic assholes like your ILs.
My grandparents did this to
My grandparents did this to me and my cousin. They spoiled her rotten to make up for the fact that her parents were divorced. They bought her everything she desired. She even was in my grandparents will to have 25% share, her mom has 25% and my dad has 50%. My dad had my grandfather rewrite his will and take my cousin out of it because it wasn't fair to my brother or I. And it was just because they felt bad for my cousin because my aunt is a piece of shit person too.
Anyways, In my case my grandparents felt guilty and sorry for my cousin. Could this be the same case for you?
Focus on what you can
Focus on what you can control. You cannot control your in laws so do not focus on them. Once in a while mention that you would like your bs to have a closer relationship with them. Then leave it at that.
Other than that you should focus on giving your son a good up bringing and don't let him grow bitter towards his relatives. He will be closer to your side of the family. My kids are also much closer to my side of the family. DH's family is more focused on compensating SS for the loss of his mother. They will probably be doing that forever and I have made peace with that.
OK so new issue came up last
OK so new issue came up last night. My in-laws live 5 minutes from my ill grandparents. I would like to visit my grandparents with my Son. I don't like traveling with SS because BM makes life hell. Well last time I visited my grandparents my in-laws invited my son and I over once. If I am visiting my grandparents should I go visit my in-laws or avoid them. Right now my plan is to tell them I am coming with my son and tell them to let me know if they want to see us and when. I am hoping they go out of town the same time as I am there. (they normally do that time of year)