We blended families three months ago. My kids have been doing some form of chores for a long time...even as toddlers they learned to put their dirty clothes at the end of the day in the laundry hamper and they are up to the point as teenagers that they can do a fair bit...up to and including making basic family meals. They do the trash and recycling, empty and load the dishwasher, make their own school lunches, tidy their rooms, set the table, sort laundry...they're pretty good but I know kids of this age who do way more. 90% of the time they do it without any incident, but of course from time to time I might hear some (usually hormonal, lol) whining about it. Typical stuff.

SKIDS have never really had chores and the few they have have been at DF's (fiance's) house. At BM's not only have they not had chores, but they get the royal treatment. As in, not even helping to clear the dinner table after meals. DF and I are on the same page in that we both believe that when you live in a family (blended or otherwise) you do what you can to help each other out, just because it's the right thing to do. I also strongly believe that it is our duty as parents to teach kids basic life skills (especially since where we live kids are no longer learning things like home ec in school).

We both work full-time and life is busy. DF came up with a chart/schedule (he's a teacher so this is 2nd nature to him) of chores for all four of them so that it is clear and spelled out. One of the areas in which we differ is now chores are tied to money. He gives the SKIDS allowance based on what they have done - if they haven't done their chores for the week or have been really difficult in doing them (whining, requiring tons of prompts) then they get less. I've never done this. My kids just get a small (like half of what DF gives) but I just expect my kids to do these basic things because it is the right thing to do. They also both do some babysitting and DD is an artist so she will sell her work from time to time online so they get their money on their own.

Anyhow I know they are all different and there is no one right or wrong way - but the entitled attitudes (especially from SS14) are driving me nuts. The deep sighs when asked to get off the sofa and take out the trash, or the "i've had a rough day, I'm tired" protests. It takes every ounce of my energy to not respond when I get home from work with a bitchy/sarcastic "you have NO idea what tired means, sunshine!". I don't because I know that will not help. But DF gets home later than us and he does pipe up, but it drives me nuts to have to cook in a dirty kitchen (and I love to cook so I do most of it). I do pipe up and say, "SS14, I think it's your turn to load up the dishwasher, so can you do it now please?" I watch my tone as best as I can. He will then get up and do it, but will be checking his phone constantly or turning to the tv (we have a 'great room' layout) and will literally take an hour to do this, all the while in my way.

Mostly this is a vent - in particular because entitlement is something that really drives me nuts, probably more than most people. For awhile I thought I'd just make it a clear and open rule that if I'm going to be cooking and others are responsible for most of the cleaning, then I'm not going to do my job until they've done theirs...but I don't want to eat at 8 pm every night! ARGH!