In my DH custody agreement there is no CP or NCP. SS is at each house 50% of the time. It also says that BM and DH have to agree on everything. Does anyone else have this? Any information about what that means legally?
It means that they have joint legal and joint physical custody.
It also means that any major decisions must be agreed upon by both parents. For example, let's say dad wants to move kid to a new school. If mom does not agree, it does not happen. If dad wants to put kid in counseling and mom does not agree, it does not happen.
If the relationship is a decent, this situation can work. If the relationship is contentious, your husband is going to be in a world of hurt
Yep agreed. BM has primary custody SO has eowe but joint decision making. Here in Australia that means there must be both consultation and a real effort to come to a joint decision.
That has literally never happened in his case. She makes all major decisions, intentionally leaves him out of the process ( gives wrong dates for medical appts) etc. she has SF sign papers as the dad, denies SOs role as father except of course when she needs something- usually either SO to take SD to give BMs household a " break" from SD or to ask for money.
The only way to assert this if the other parent isn't willing to follow is to take them to court each and every time. But really who can afford it. Recipe for disaster in my view.
Yeah this is the custody order that is really and truely a "non-judgement". Basically if both (aka BM) don't agree then whatever is up for discussion doesn't happen. No one has more "power" than the other but this usually boils down to anything BM doesn't like (everything DH does differently) doesn't happen. Expect a whole lot of "if you do this, then I'll agree to that" or him doing a whole lot of ass kissing to get the smallest iota of an agreement.
I know someone that has this too and in addition to the decisions they have to agree to split 50/50 any expenses for the child...clothes, shoes, activities, etc. It is working for them.
This is a lot like DHs. So far we have been really lucky. BM liked the school we wanted SS to go to also, we tend to say yes to any sports and clubs he wants to do. However, BM says no to anything we brings so we request a discounted rate to let SS do it every other week.
The odds of this working for very long are slim and none. Eventually one side or the other will want something that the other refuses and the shit will hit the fan.
Sounds similar to my arrangements with exH. I've discovered when you take $ out of the equation there's minimal conflict. 4 years divorced and there's never been an issue that we've disagreed over the kids. On the other hand DH and BM have CS and SS to be reviewed yearly, she's entitled and he's resentful (especially since she was never a SAHM and his career took off years after they divorced) so there's always conflict.
It means that they have joint
It means that they have joint legal and joint physical custody.
It also means that any major decisions must be agreed upon by both parents. For example, let's say dad wants to move kid to a new school. If mom does not agree, it does not happen. If dad wants to put kid in counseling and mom does not agree, it does not happen.
If the relationship is a decent, this situation can work. If the relationship is contentious, your husband is going to be in a world of hurt
Yep agreed. BM has primary
Yep agreed. BM has primary custody SO has eowe but joint decision making. Here in Australia that means there must be both consultation and a real effort to come to a joint decision.
That has literally never happened in his case. She makes all major decisions, intentionally leaves him out of the process ( gives wrong dates for medical appts) etc. she has SF sign papers as the dad, denies SOs role as father except of course when she needs something- usually either SO to take SD to give BMs household a " break" from SD or to ask for money.
The only way to assert this if the other parent isn't willing to follow is to take them to court each and every time. But really who can afford it. Recipe for disaster in my view.
Yeah this is the custody
Yeah this is the custody order that is really and truely a "non-judgement". Basically if both (aka BM) don't agree then whatever is up for discussion doesn't happen. No one has more "power" than the other but this usually boils down to anything BM doesn't like (everything DH does differently) doesn't happen. Expect a whole lot of "if you do this, then I'll agree to that" or him doing a whole lot of ass kissing to get the smallest iota of an agreement.
I know someone that has this
I know someone that has this too and in addition to the decisions they have to agree to split 50/50 any expenses for the child...clothes, shoes, activities, etc. It is working for them.
This is a lot like DHs. So
This is a lot like DHs. So far we have been really lucky. BM liked the school we wanted SS to go to also, we tend to say yes to any sports and clubs he wants to do. However, BM says no to anything we brings so we request a discounted rate to let SS do it every other week.
The odds of this working for
The odds of this working for very long are slim and none. Eventually one side or the other will want something that the other refuses and the shit will hit the fan.
I hope it works, plan that won't.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
It sure does - lol!!
It sure does - lol!!
Sounds similar to my
Sounds similar to my arrangements with exH. I've discovered when you take $ out of the equation there's minimal conflict. 4 years divorced and there's never been an issue that we've disagreed over the kids. On the other hand DH and BM have CS and SS to be reviewed yearly, she's entitled and he's resentful (especially since she was never a SAHM and his career took off years after they divorced) so there's always conflict.