Only applies to us?!
I'm new here and need to vent lol and get advice.
I am a Stepmom to a 9 yr old boy. We have a high conflict bio mom to deal with. She has custody and we have visitation.
So the court orders in the divorce papers and parenting plan say to notify each other when going out of town with stepson. We agree fully. But the papers have a part about out of state and then another part sounds out of town. We've had past issues with bio mom as to what "out of town" means. We've handled it and decided it would be any day trip that we go 4+ hours away or if we are staying the night anywhere no matter how far away. We've talked about this several times with her and it started because she wanted to know where we were camping in case there was an emergency.....totally understandable. We've always told her.
So here's my vent! When it comes to her going camping or going anywhere she never tells us!! She always has some lame excuse or denies it! why should it only apply to us and not her?!?!
This has been driving us nuts. This type of stuff keeps coming up. She has an issue with us so we agree to change and all agree but then she doesn't follow it and acts like it doesn't apply to her..
Anyone experience this????
Yeah, our BM does this exact
Yeah, our BM does this exact crap.
The last time we heard that she went away for 3 nights (heard from her brother, so she couldn't deny it) SO sent her a text saying "As per CO it states we have to notify each other if we take SD out of town for more then 12 hours. [Brother] mentioned that you spent 3 nights [outta town]. I was not notified. Do you now feel that this clause is no longer needed? I feel that I can trust you as SDs parent, and would be happy to forgo this clause"
We have since been outta town, we did not notify BM. If she has a problem with it, she can take it to court, and have to answer for why she does not follow the CO nor responded to SO's attempt to discuss it. And that's all that would happen, they'll have a round table meeting with GAL where BM will be TOLD to follow it, or it will be scraped from CO.
that's true I guess if she
that's true I guess if she has a problem with us showing her the same respect she shows us she can take us back to court and explain herself too. She's done it numerous times. It's just funny when we asked her about it she said oh I didn't understand that we had to tell each other. But she was the one who had the problem in the first place! Bah!
I'm sure we will always tell
I'm sure we will always tell her if we go. Out of respect and for the sake of protecting ourselves because she does cause a lot of drama.
It's hard when we have specific orders for going out of state but not for "out of town" cause that could mean so many things. We tried to get on the same page as to what "out of town" should mean but obviously it didn't work.
This stepmom stuff is HARD
We all deal with it. You are
We all deal with it. You are definitely not alone.
You're not alone. No need to
You're not alone. No need to stress out and wonder why her, why me because it's not worth it. Just follow exactly whatever in the court order/divorce agreement and document date/time/reason BM ignore/refuses to notify you and let BM does whatever she wants because eventually it will blow up in her face big time. She will call, cry and beg for help. Until then tell your DH to make sure she signs whatever he needs her to sign before agrees to help her and if you have to go to court and fight it by then you have document showing she's been doing it for so long so she will get no chance. It happened before and will happen again.
Take a deep breath and let it go because Redblanket. It will be a long fight. For now just put your feet up and watch BM doing her crazy dance. }:)
A.