cheap and very stingy
i have already looked into the legal aspects of separation from dh. i find it hard to always see myself as the last on his list of priorities. i felt just better knowing how i stand legally.
well dh told me he wants to do our anniversary on the frugal side because he just had to open his wallet for his piss poor parents who spent everything they had on expensive vacations when they were younger. now they have nothing and always ask for expensive handouts from the only child of theirs who made anything of themselves. dh is always having to fork out money for healthcare and expenses. they cant even pay their medical co pays.
well dh just gave hundreds of dollars to one child who is going for a business licence. then he gave hundreds of dollars to another skid who wanted some sports equipment. and dh he says he is poor and wants to be frugal on our anniversary?
i am just waiting to see how cheap he will be with me. pathetic.
Are his parents on Medicare
Are his parents on Medicare yet? There are programs in most states (Medicare Advantage plans) that have little to no premium and tiny copays if any.
I pay zero premium per month, my co-pay for PCP is 0 and my copay for specialists is $25. Plus I have dental and vision included - and a health club (nicest one in town).
Back to your anniversary. Frugal does not have to mean thoughtless. But it sounds like he really doesn't give a shit about making you happy with money or with kindness and consideration.
I'd have moved out while he
I'd have moved out while he was at work and never spoken to the MF asshole ever again.
When someone shows you who they are and that they don't give a shit about you - believe them.
dh spent almost $500 on
dh spent almost $500 on sports equipment for a skid. and this is after he said he wanted to save money on anniversary gifts.
If I ever have to make a
If I ever have to make a choice between helping my parents and splurging on my spouse, my parents would win.
Why do you want to celebrate a marriage that is ending?
we did agree on how much to
we did agree on how much to spend, a small amount, then he spends a lot for sporting goods for a skid. i think that changed things.
thx for the answers. i do not
thx for the answers.
i do not ever intend to let dh know i am filing. that would be giving away an advantage, allowing him to transfer all sorts of money to his parents and skids. foolish. i want to have my ducks in a row. i am not in a hurry to leave.
its also not about helping family. he is spending tons of money on skids and wants to be frugal with me. that is the issue here.
He's cheap. I have also had
He's cheap. I have also had a problem with a boyfriend I had giving his adult daughter money and signing on a business loan for her when her credit was completely ruined already. She even had a full-time job and she was paying to rent a house, yet she had her hand out for more money from him. When she was a teenager he gave her endless money to go on a million vacations. He was an enabler. I also watched him give her a cigarette once "because she was stressed out."
If you want to leave him, I can understand why, and you definitely have my support. You deserve better and I hope in the future you will find someone who doesn't have a bunch of kids.
THIS Neither one if you plan
THIS
Neither one if you plan to stay in this marriage. Expecting anything from him at this point is kind of strange
evidently dh threatens me
evidently dh threatens me with divorce whenever he gets ticked off with me. its an abusive tactic.
he has not filed yet now had me served, but at least i know where i stand. there is a lot happening right now in my life that a divorce would complicate. a smart woman does not simply file for divorce just as a general does not just attack at any time. this will take some planning.
here is how cheap he was: he
here is how cheap he was: he spend less than 100 dollars on me. a key chain and a cheap silver necklace. i bought him an accessory that was hundreds of dollars. when i said how disappointed i was, oh the irony, he said i cheapened the gift he got for me. looks like time for me to blow some of my own money to buy something nice for myself.
get this: he is still angry
get this: he is still angry over how *i* insulted him. a man who can spend that kind of money on a skid can afford more than trinkets for his wife. he is a cheap self absorbed man ruled by guilt and obsessed with his kids. every time he gets mad at me, i say "here come the divorce threats." this is emotional abuse in and of itself.
i am now made to understand that i got appliances and household items for an anniversary gift. he went on and on about how it house gifts were for "us." and that crap about his parents was just a lie to get cheap with me. he is a disgrace as a husband.
thank you for the reply. it
thank you for the reply. it sounds like your so is much nicer than my dh. in this case, dh had more than enough money to get me something nice. i bought him something way out of my budget because i knew he would like it once i found out skid was getting almost five hundred dollars in sports equipment. the "thought" counting becomes worthless once you find out others were gifted more handsomely. skids could have received a new cover for a cell phone.
each situation is different.
each situation is different. in my case i cant agree with you on your comment. a man puts his money where his mouth is. in comparison with what the sd got, i was short changed. period.
everyone i talk to agrees with me because they know dh and how he is with the skids.
and then dh showed up with a
and then dh showed up with a bouquet of flowers. and when i could not tolerate them being sensitive to carnations, i put them out on the patio until i could remove the carantions and rearrange the bouquet. dh knows i cant tolerate carnations! imagine dh leaving angrily for work the next day, but not before dumping the entire bouquet in the trash. i guess i did not remove the carnations fast enough for him. he said i should have done it before going to bed. what? and make all the noise to wake him up with water splashing just feet away from the bedroom?hell after all i put the damn bouquet in a vase with water.
dh then happily told me just
dh then happily told me just how happy skid was with her sports equipment and how she went out with a group on an outing.
am i really supposed to care about this in light of how cheap he was?