Should I start drama?!?!
I don't know if im working myself up for nothing but maybe talking about it to others in somewhat in my situation i can ease outta this. So here goes my drama - with who else but BM -.- its like she cant move on from my husbands family maybe i should understand that she was/is in their lives for a long time. But there relationship was very rocky from what he says from what ive heard. On and off for years never stable. But i kinda get a bad vibe from her. At the kids school functions she never ever comes close to us but if i cant make it, i find out she has asked husband to take pictures or whatever and kinda makes a point of letting everyone know about it. She gets mad at the kids for talking about me they even told me they arent allowed to say my name or their lil sisters' name at their house. I cant go to games cuz BM will get mad. I dont care for her at all she wasnt in the picture at all or even close to when me and husband started dating 4 yrs ago and we got married a yr ago. I dont understand her problem tho. So back to the main problem lol i saw a post on fb (of course) she was wished a happy bday by sis-in-law (lives in another state) and BM response was "let me know when you come down, i really want to see you, i was at my X-mom-in-laws hahahaha and we were talking about doing a cookout with you and your sister"
Sis in law response was "yes X-sis in law we'll see when i go so we can do that and laugh and think of old times"
I feel weird about that little convo. Am i being crazy or should i just let it go? Cuz im not jealous of her i don't know her at all but i feel like she wants to get to me. Why cant she just like move on. I told my mom about it and how i seriously think his family is stupid for going along with her crap cuz im sure that as soon as she gets a bf she will completely stop talking to them, and before that happens i probably will stop talking to them too. I cant even imagine the awkward situation where we get to my inlaws and shes there. Why put anyone even the kids in that kind of situation. Cuz im more than sure they know she doesn't like me.
Oh btw im preggo so yeah im probably alil crazy
That's one way to look at it.
That's one way to look at it. Or, the other way is to realize that other people are adults, and they are welcome to be friends or friendly with whomever they wish.
Maybe the OP's DH and BM were on and off and rocky for years. Maybe not. Maybe they were both nice people, but awful together. Maybe MIL and SIL actually LIKE BM, and it's none of the OP's business if they share a meal with her once in a blue moon?
Honestly, OP sounds a little immature and as if she's digging for reasons to hate BM. She stays away from you at events. THAT'S A BONUS.
How about get off her facebook and stop worrying about what other people are doing that doesn't involve you?
all i can say is this is
all i can say is this is bullshit. there is no way a bm, dh and step parent and family can all live happily ever after unless they are all legitimately friends, including sm and bm.
Exactly my thoughts, furkids,
Exactly my thoughts, furkids, thanks for saving me the time!
Things are rarely so black
Things are rarely so black and white. I like my ex-SIL much, much more than I do my brother. Always have, as my bro has always been a "bit" of an a$$. More so as we all get older. I have no problem getting together with her for dinner or drinks. Does he have a problem with that? No clue. Nor do I care. I stopped caring about his wee wittle fee-fees long ago.
My question is why is OP looking at ex's FB?
I am nice to my ex inlaws
I am nice to my ex inlaws because they are the mother of my cousins or other relations,not because I love them.
With that being said, they nor anyone else can dictate how I choose to interact with them. You can certainly start "drama", but that will reflect badly on you, as well it should. You are married to your husband,and you married into his family. They can pick and choose who they want to be "nice" to.
Respect yourself enough to stay off of their FB. It is just going to make you miserable, and a little cray cray. No one can tell another adult who they are going to interact with. So short of making your feelings known to your husband, the family has let you know that they are OK with her, so only he may care what you think.
She gets mad because you go to the kids games? Who told you that? Your husband? So what if she gets mad? You go to school functions and the world is still turning. She has not attacked you has she? Has she been malicious with you, stalked you, called you and threatened you?You going to stop talking to his family? How is that going to work out for you? You and him have a child together, God forbid it doesn't work out, do you want to be seen or treated as public enemy #2? Because guess what, that child is just as much their family as they are yours and you would want them to be nice to you at least. Some ladies on here have found out that when their relationships don't work out and they are in a situation where they have to be mature as a BM, that it is not as easy as it seems once they are those shoes.
The thing is that we are not little girls. We can choose to be confident,intelligent women who recognize that the act of loving someone does not include them becoming our father or protector against humanity and our hurt fee fees. Families fight, they fall out and they forgive, that is the nature of family relations.It is how families stay together and related. You (we) have to set our own boundaries and limitations and recognize that we are only the bosses of ourselves. You cannot call shots with anyone, beyond your husband, without looking foolish and immature. Please just vent here and block them off of your FB, so you don't get emotional,and thus cause any problems for yourself for the future. And remember, success is the best revenge.
True thats what i was
True thats what i was thinking too. I cant make anyome stop talking to her its just that gut feeling that she just does it to get to me and i havent shown it but its there :/ and since we have so many mutual friends in common i get alot of her on my end she makes it a point to add everyone thats related to him. I also have ex-inlaws and we were very close but i dont do that kind of stuff. If i talk to them i talk to them and thats it i dont make it a point to let everyone know i did like its some kind of awesome thing. But thanks ladies i guess reading it from someone elses point of view helps
Understandable and I
Understandable and I empathize. Block her ass, and you won't see her no matter who's timeline, post or whatever she is on,you can still see the relevant family, just not her stuff. For your own sanity. If she does it just to get to you, she has succeeded, and who wants that?For your own sake, not for her,block her! If you aren't blocking her because that would take away your ability to see what she is up to, that is a separate issue. Every time you catch yourself thinking of her, immediately find something positive to do, it's endless on the the interweb.
Please do yourself the favor and one click yourself out of this mess...
Unfortunately, you cannot do
Unfortunately, you cannot do anything about your DH's family regarding his ex. Only THEY can control their actions and if it's disrespectful to you, it's up to your DH to address it.
My SO has disowned his family from his dad's side. This is because his first cousin is best mates with his ex and still is today. Thanks to this cousin, BM turns up to all family gatherings, BBQ's, functions etc and said cousin refuses to acknowledge that she is disrespecting SO. This cousin also sees herself as the matriarch of that side of the family, who dictates/controls everyone. Due to this, SO no longer contacts any of them and has lost cousin's that he used to be super close to, because they are too scared of their sis to talk to her about boundaries.
As they have proven to be judgemental and disloyal to him - he no longer has anything to do with them. It hurt at first, but time heals and he's much better now. His ex-wife came out as a lesbian, abandoned him and the kids for 5 years, and they continue to accept her and her new partner, as she is the best friend of his cousin.
SO has realised that they are not loyal to him, don't respect him and therefore, he has absolutely nothing to do with them any more. He is loyal to me, his Mom and her side of the family and we have become his family.
Leave it to your DH to deal with it.
Unfortunately I have this
Unfortunately I have this problem too, so don't feel alone. One time I broke down with my father in law about her and we both cried together LOL and he assured me that I am his only DIL in this scenario, to sum it up. But things returned to normal. I question my BIL if he secretly is a BM advocate, since he follows her on instagram. I just don't want my two worlds to blend I guess. BM and I hate each other though - She thinks I am mean to the girls because sometimes they manipulate and don't tell the whole truth. And I think she is fucking crazy. Our family is super close, so when i see them connecting with BM, i just pull away. There's really nothing I can do. It sucks because I don't have much of a family of my own to lean on, just DH's. If I had more family to lean on I might not care as much honestly, because I wouldn't feel like she was taking control of my whole life or infesting it like a disease.
I wouldn't do anything. I have done this with BM over and over again and it doesn't solve anything. It just lingers,forever. She never forgets it and it makes you seem jealous. Act like it doesn't bother you and go about your life. Go to the games despite if you are allowed or not. She can't control your life and don't let her.
Good luck and try not to let her get to you, I feel for ya