I, like most in these situations, hate having to share/split holidays. It sucks, but such is life. We've been doing this for six years. It's a bummer to not spend every holiday together, but it's the norm for our family. DH and I have accepted that.....BM has not. I'm pretty sure she makes it her mission to try to ruin every single holiday we have SS. No matter what the holiday is. When SS6 was younger DH would be more open to holidays and let BM take SS if she had plans with her family and DH didn't have anything planned. But he learned the hard way, give an inch she'll take a mile. So he stopped doing three years ago. We have an every-other-year schedule. 100% fair and in the CO, but EVERY SINGLE TIME BM asks if she can have SS and when DH says no, she throws an absolute fit and spews in SS's ear about how DH doesn't want SS to love her and blah blah blah. Thankfully now that SS is getting older, he understand and handles it better. But it still starts off our holiday's with a dark cloud hanging over us, the evil people. She will call and leave nasty messages on his phone and just be annoying. DH just puts his phone on silent and ignores it, but I can tell it bothers him. For once I would just like a drama free holiday!!! (don't we all )

What bothers me even more, is that when it is her holiday, she will promise him they are going to spend all this time together and do all these cool things, and then she drops him off with her parents and doesn't spend anytime with him. Like on Memorial weekend...he told me he was so excited they were all going camping and they were going to have so much fun. He was so thrilled!! When they returned I asked him how it was and instantly I could see he was sad. She dropped him off with her parents and did her own thing. He said he didn't see her all weekend. Now don't get me wrong, BM's parents are wonderful people (how BM turned out so nasty blows my mind) because they are so so nice. And I think it's great for him to spend time with his grandparents...but all he really wanted was time with him mom...it's breaks my heart!

On to the next topic.......

BM has been particularly horrible to DH lately and super nice to me. She even sent me a message one day, saying how grateful she was that SS has a SM like me and so on. It was so nice that I almost fell into her trap, because about and hour after that message she asked me to babysit her other two kids that are not DH's....

Now I've always been cordial with BM, I only share my opinions with DH, I never interfere with stuff between the two of them and SS. I used to keep my distance from her altogether, but a year ago we moved to the town she lived, to be closer to SS since he was starting school all day every day. So now we see much more of each other at school and sporting events. If/when she shows up, we are typically sitting next to each other so I will make light conversation, keeping it focused on SS. Apparently by being nice, I've opened some door making her think I want to hang out with her outside of SS's activities...

She's inviting me to Girls nights and asking if I will be her gym buddy so she will be motivated to go to the gym, etc. I always say no or find some way out of it, because I really have no desire to be her friend. Is that wrong of me??? Part of me is unsure if it's even sincere or if she has some other motivation behind it. Maybe I'm being crazy and she's genuine, but I just don't know. BM's older son's SM and her hang out a lot and have a great time together, but when they fight, it's epic fighting and goes on for months. I don't want to be involved in that stuff. I do not have the time or patience to deal with that kind of drama. However, I feel like if I keep saying no, she's going to start saying bad things about me to SS...it's a no win situation....

AND to top it off!!! She recently started bitching to ME about my DH!!!! I've told her several times that I'm not the person to talk to about this and make it very clear that if forced to choose a side, I'm going to choose HIS! But she just keeps going. Granted there are times I think DH could have handled something better, but I'm not going to tell BM that!!! I just don't understand why she would think I would take her side in these disputes.....

I'm really glad we moved to be closer to SS. It's so nice to not have to spend an hour in the car to pick him up and then an hour back....but at the same time I feel like I'm being sucked into this vortex of BM's odd lifestyle....