When do you hit the I give up point?
SD9 & 12 are coming down tonight for the summer. Yay. I went to wash their sheets and clean up their room. Found 3 sets of clothes crusted with dried pee that sd9 has been hiding for the time she has been down here in the last 3 months. And also 7 pair of crusted pee underwear. I thought she was over this and that DH would be checking up on her. Nope, I don't ant to think how much pee is all over my car, furniture bed etc. And what is more disturbing is that this kid is sleeping in these clothes and wearing them all day. She was seen by a urologist that said it's nothing more than her being lazy and not wanting to stop what she's doing to pee.
I am tired of their room reeking like pee. I flipped last night and DH wouldn't get off his video game to do anything about it. I told him she needs to be checked 3x a day and grounded for every pair of underwear we find. His response... I'm sick of talking about it, I don't have time to check her 3 times a day. BS, he works like 20 hours a week if that and does nothing around the house. Today he is apologetic. No thanks DH. Why should I care if you don't? Let her live in her pee bed and wet her pants till she's 20. My question is when should I stop carting and give up? BM claims it never happens at her house. We know she's lying because they bring laundry down and there's always 20 pair of pee underwear.
I am afraid that something horrible will happen to this kid's kidneys soon because she gets constant UTIs from sitting in pee pants all the time.
I think you need to give up.
I think you need to give up. You can't care more than the bios. It only bites you in the ass.
Put a waterproof cover on the bed. No sheets. Put them in damn pull ups while they are there. Then your DH can be the lazy father he wants to be.
That's disgusting. It's never
That's disgusting. It's never gone that far here. One skid didn't seem to know how to use toilet paper. DH was at least on board with the skid washing his own uw in the tub by hand (after I suggested that DH do it as I wasn't gonna touch it).
If you want to try one more thing see if having them hand wash their own soiled clothing does the trick. Maybe a wash basin in the garage and drying outside.
If DH has a problem with it, hand him the bag of stuff and tell him to do it. And get plastic covers for everything.
Yes, if make them each their
Yes, if make them each their own pee clothes. Perhaps the embarrassment will make her think twice about being lazy.
I would set a timer on my
I would set a timer on my phone and every hour I would march that kid to the bathroom no matter what she's doing. She will learn to accept interruptions for this necessary life function. At some point she will come to notice the difference between fresh clean undies and putrid icky ones. She will notice she prefers the former. Right now she can't even tell the difference. The going to the bathroom will become a habit. Right now the habit is "ignore this aspect of my life and periodically get yelled at it for it and hate on SM." Change that damn habit right now.
The UTIS will get worse. Take a look at her future: http://www.steptalk.org/node/214821
Personally, I couldn't watch a 9 year old be like this on my watch. If DH tried to clip my wings on it, I'd probably have to be gone forever.
You did good with your kid.
You did good with your kid. Warms my heart to hear a parent step up so brilliantly for a difficult child. And to KNOW their child is difficult to begin with! Brava!
1. Not your kid, I get it. But I would do it because I could not abide living like that.
2. My biggest issue with SD15 was her beating on and tormenting her little brother. He's autistic. Yeah, she's a peach. About 9 or 10 months into marriage, I no longer cared what DH thought about it, I was going to stop it myself and I did. This can work. Not for everyone but it did for us.
3. On the issue with your other skid, yeah, we had some of that. Same thing. I went crazed banshee on my dh and made it stop. I was so maniacal and forceful he actually started laughing at one point. He took care of the situation. Then one day I was in their bathroom for some ungodly reason (NEVER go in there) and saw the plastic strip that protects the adhesive on the floor.
Again, I went nuts. We decided SD's new chore would be to sweep the bathroom floor and change the trash in there. She figured out what's what when she was finding her own disgusting crap in dustpan. So she became more self aware about it.
Do what you want at your house but I simply could not live like that for very long without coming up with a plan and acting on it. Or going batshit banshee. Both methods have worked for me.
Not my circus, not my
Not my circus, not my monkeys. Why were you washing their sheets anyway?
Yep, can't care more than the
Yep, can't care more than the bio parents.
I was at the breakup point with my SO a few years back. I told him, I'm not the parent, I can't fix this, but I also sure as hell am not going to watch this trainwreck unfold before my eyes. Silence does NOT mean consent. And good luck finding someone else that will watch this slow motion disaster unfold.
To my surprise, SO stepped it up. I like to think he did it for the kids' welfare, but I'm sure part of it was because he realized I was serious and I would be GONE.
This would be a hill to die on for me. This is borderline medical neglect.
The younger one. The older
The younger one. The older one has fun habit of hiding piles of bloody period underwear under her bed.
"When do you hit the I give
"When do you hit the I give up point?"
Pretty much now.
Unfortunately, you yourself
Unfortunately, you yourself cannot physically enforce the pull-ups issue. Your DH has to do that. We have been "discussing" PigPen12 wearing Incontinence Pants for awhile now. DH wants it to be PigPen's choice and not force him to wear them. Especially after the little shi'thead stole BioHo's car the other week. Poor wittle pwecious is too stressed. This past weekend, PigPen was SURE he could hold it. HA! Wet the bed both nights. And left all of the p!ssy bedding on the facking bed Sunday. I STUPIDLY stripped the bedding (the bed has the zip on, waterproof cover) to get washed. And that was the last bloody time. Next time P!ssboy leaves p!ssy bedding on the bed, I'm leaving it there.
For those who say my DH should be washing these - our washer is broken. He is working 12 hour shifts, 6-7 days a week. Otherwise he would be. We're a team and I'm doing more because he's working more. But I've reached my limit...
Pee pants and period
Pee pants and period pants.
Well we have established nick names
9 years old and urinating on herself consistently?
Wow!
I would wonder one of two things: 1) cognitive delay OR 2) medical issue
I would start with a second opinion medically to see if her bladder is malformed and if you find out that a 9 year old is normal, BUT is too lazy to stop and urinate.
Then I would start to analyze the cognitive/mental functioning of a child that urinates on itself at that age, just out of being lazy.
But that just my opinion, my SD is 9 also and if she was still urinating on herself I would be wondering what her full mental capacity is if she was still urinating on herself.
" She was seen by a urologist
" She was seen by a urologist that said it's nothing more than her being lazy and not wanting to stop what she's doing to pee." see there, a medical dr said her ass was lazy. This is what I'd do. Embarrest her ass In front of everyone. Bring the situation up I front of them around strangers or whoever. Be conniving! Open h Xbox open and pull a couple of wires loose, disable his game system and lie..fuck it! They do not care about your feelings enough to respect your house hold. Yes, put plastic over everything even the couch. I myself make my step kids change clothes and shower before sitting on my beautiful couch. Leave notes tacked up saying " please soak pissed up panties emediately to prevent bacteria that can put entire family at risk of illness " it's your house too.
Also, make them stop drinking
Also, make them stop drinking liquids 1 hour before bed time.
She clearly gets her laziness
She clearly gets her laziness from her father. Since he doesn't have time to parent, I would love to know who he believes should have that responsibility. This needs to become his problem. Right away.