It cost us (yes, my money was involved) about $7000. We kept track of packages sent, letters sent, cards etc plus attempts at contact on a spreadsheet. This meant that the lawyer DH hired didn't have to do footwork. DH tried very hard to be a real dad from a distance....the BM in this story sounds like my SD's momma....13 years without a peep.

Not cheap by any means but as for "typical" cost, I have no idea.

For us the total costs of the legal fees we paid protecting my Skid from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool and looking out for his best interests was in the low 5 figures. Though the Sperm Clan did attempt to gain custody that was primarily only an attempt to intimidate my then single teen mom college student bride into giving up custody we never had an actual protracted custody battle. When she took out supplemental education loans and got an attorney to fight them the amended their effort to gain joint custody.

Over time and after we married and the financial hammer shifted irrevocably in our favor they proceeded to amend their filing to try to get us to settle. We did not. The final offer from them the night before court was they wanted 15wks of visitation per year. We offered 9 weeks. They refused, we spent the entire next day in court and the judge awarded them 7wks per year.

When we walked out of court after that first court experience in our blended family life we were in to our lawyer for ~$7,000.00. Over the next 16+ years of blended family life our legal fees to keep the toxic Sperm Idiot clan in check was another ~$3,000. Last month finished up any cost I would expect related to blended family stuff. My son (SS-22) asked me to adopt him. So we reengaged our killer awesome shark attorney to do a fast track adult adoption which was completed in 4 business days.

Our total cost of blended family, custody, visitation, CS, and adoption efforts .... ~$13,000.00 over 20 years. Add another ~$2,000.00-~$3,000.00 or so for pre-marriage costs that my bride spent in the early paternity establishment, custody, and CS efforts.

So, for us $15,000.00 to $16,000.00 in total over 21+ years is what we spent protecting our family from the toxic opposition.

They still owe us ~$8,000.00 in principal, penalties, and interest on unreimbursed medical bills for the kid from age 2-18. We send them a nasty-gram and a revised account statement a couple of times per year just to keep the option of suing their idiot asses on the table. I will sue them at some point when I am need of some entertainment. }:)

I won't be content until that gene pool is destitute and living under the local highway overpass in old cardboard refrigerator boxes after the crap they put my kid through and caused my family over the years.