do i deserve to be told "happy mothers day"??
No bio kids, been in step kids lives (live-in) for 1 year; I never have asked to be called a mom, nor did I ever say I was their mom...but DH wanted to give me a mother's day gift etc.. i appreciated it and I absolutely love and adore my step kids.. plus for the last 6 months DH has worked a weird schedule and I have done everything for the kids while he's at work..& my mother's day was a very lovely day.....but my "best friend" made it a point to send me a 'Happy dog-mom' card thing for 'mothers day' instead of a "real" mothers day one & it hurt my feelings a little.. and I'm trying to figure out if I am justified in being hurt. I'm not mad at her, she has every right to her opinion...but she's supposed to be my best friend...in fact come to think of it none of my "friends" said happy mothers day to me....i feel dumb for hurting but I try so hard to make the boys feel loved and treat them like my own...I guess its not good enough to them though...feeling like I'm "not a real mom ..this sucks 
I don't think you (or anyone
I don't think you (or anyone that I know for that matter) deserves to be called a "dog-mom".
WTF is a dog-mom anyways!?!?
(wondering now if my best friend is going to send me a cat-dad card for Father's Day)
Like a furbaby mom? I think
Like a furbaby mom? I think it was a nice gesture.. maybe your friend didn't know if you wanted a regular MD card or not?
It was a card that said "my
It was a card that said "my kids have paws, happy mothers day to all the pet mom's out there" & she text it to me at the end of the day, right after I had posted about thanking people for making my first Mother's day special...& hadn't heard anything from her all day...even though I had said happy mothers day to her personally earlier, & her response was "thank you"...instead of what I would've thought to be "you too"...idk maybe I'm being petty.
I do have a dog that I have raised since she was a puppy,& she's 9. But still...seems like she was almost making it a point to let me know that I wasn't a real mom...i might just be being sensitive about it, but its not the first time she's been back-handed about 'compliments'
To be honest, I know how my
To be honest, I know how my DH and my skids feel about me and treat me on every other day...this one day and her opinion don't really matter to me. It just would've been nice to hear from a best friend.
>>>The woman's friend goes
>>>The woman's friend goes out of her way to send her a card and she takes offense because it's not the right kind of card.<<<
THIS EXACTLY!
Half of my family doesn't remember I didn't take DH's last name when we married. If I get all hurt every time I get cards addressed to me with his last name, I'd never get anything done. I'm just happy I received a card!
I have no bios and have been
I have no bios and have been engaged to my SO for a bit over a year. I didn't expect to be told HMD from him, the skids or anyone else bc at the end of the day I am not their mother. The things I do for the skids aren't really for them, the things I do that are skid related are only to help my SO when I feel like helping him. I did get a text from one skid saying "HMD" and I quickly nipped that in the bud by saying "I hope you did something great for your mother today and always remember girls like foot and back rubs just in case you didn't get out to get her something. Thank you for thinking of me today, it is hard to be a fur baby momma of 3, lol." I did this so that if BM read the text she would know that I know that I am not their mother nor do I want to be recognized for it.
I understand the feelings you have about the things you do but really at the end of the day you are not a mother. I stopped doing things for the kids about 4 months ago because things I did were never noticed or no one seemed to care that I went out of my way. Back then the letdown of never being noticed was huge but now I only do things that are asked of me of my SO and I only do whatever it is IF it works for me. Camp is a good example of me helping, he won’t be able to drop them off because of his work schedule, hell ya I will drop them off but that is so they aren’t home all day in my hair. So if it works for me to help then yes I will but it is usually only with things that work in my favor or if it benefits SO but I am by no means a mother. Making this change has made a huge impact on my feelings, I feel like I am in control of my feelings more than when I was hurrying up to wait for someone to notice what I have done to help the skids.
Like I said if I say happy
Like I said if I say happy mothers day to her, then why is it so hard to say "you too"???
I may not have given birth to them; but their mom abandoned them and I stepped in like nothing & made their transition without her less painful...i'm not saying I want a pat on the back or some sort of gift or grand gesture...but how is it wrong for me to ask my best friend, who's seen the things that we've all been through, to simply say "you too" or to say nothing at all would've been better.
Thank you for being kind♡
Thank you for being kind♡
My own adult daughter said
My own adult daughter said the equivalent of "happy dog-mom day" to me. But we are both crazy dog people and it was funny.
It's nice that your family gave you a nice day. I doubt your friend meant to hurt your feelings. But next time you are out with her you can tell her how much you appreciated how your DH and skids treated you, and it was nice to celebrate mothers day.
I'd be thrilled if someone
I'd be thrilled if someone sent me a happy doggie caretaker/mom/besottedfool message on Mother's Day. I love my doggies intensely and caring for them, controlling their entire worlds, was a stunning privilege. I am their person in a way I will never be for my skids. Just because they're mine. Even though they're gone now, they're mine mine mine. I'd love a card like that on Mother's Day.
Friend probably feels the way I do about dogs and thought she was doing you a great honor. I'd just say thank you.
YES! you deserved a Happy
YES! you deserved a Happy Mother's Day
I have bios, I'm also a BM and a SM.
My skids gave me gifts and a card, the skids wrote Happy Mother's day in my card, my bios signed it too.
I have 50/50 with both my bios and my skids.
I reminded my bios yesterday to make sure they said Happy Mother's Day to their SM.
Again, I have 50/50, so ExH and SM also have 50/50.
My bio's SM takes care of them JUST AS MUCH as I do, she IS their MOTHER just a much.
That's my opinion.
Being a Mom or Dad has very
Being a Mom or Dad has very little to do with biology and everthing to do with action. You are mom to your Skids when they are in your home.
Happy Mother's Day!!!
End of story.
Your BFF many have been trying to be funny and just missed the mark. Don't scalp her yet. Guage her behaviors for a while then tell her that her card got you to thinking and share your feelings about your Skids and your role in their lives.
My guess is that she will still have your back.
Take care of you.
So I am in a very similar
So I am in a very similar situation, I do A LOT for my SS even when his dad isn't busy. To stick up for your best friend... My mom and boyfriend told me Happy Mother's Day but even though I AM a mom it is almost like I don't want it to be a real "Happy Mother's Day". I feel like I want my first mothers day to be because of my biological children and not because of my step son. I know it is weird because I am a mom, we have SS 50% of the time if not more and I pay for things and spend lots of time with him. So maybe your best friend was just trying to be sensitive about the situation. To be honest, the first MDay I spent with my SS and boyfriend.. I had to tell my boyfriend that I expected a card because I deserved it. I hope you still had a great Mother's Day!