Thinking of contacting the ex wife of BM New boyfriend
So my SD 11's BM is now on her third attempt at marriage. She met my husband at 19, married him within six months, had SD 11 with him then cheated on him (SD was two) and they divorced. She married the guy she cheated on my DH with, had a baby with him, cheated on him and they just recently divorced and is now living with/engaged to some other naive male. She is a sociopath/narcissist and a terrible mother. I'm not just bitter because of my eight years of dealing with her crap....She lures men in with her huge Boobs and bleached platinum hair, takes all of their money and self esteem and when they are about to leave, she magically gets pregnant.
She is moving in on marriage/entrapment number 3 and this guy has three children from his first marriage. I don't know anything about the guy at all, and I don't care what she does with her life, but she has messed my SD 11 up by leaving a trail of broken homes, constant stream of men in her wake.(More than just the ones she married....boyfriends, one night stands, etc) I feel like I need to warn his ex about what her kids are about to enter into, but I don't want to cause drama. BM is selfish, mean and only about money and what others can do for her. She is irresponsible, is an alcoholic and mentally and emotionally abusive.
Do I connect with his ex to warn her, and also get some info about him for my SD 11's sake (make sure he isn't a sex offender, etc) or do I let it go?
I was thinking that. I feel
I was thinking that. I feel bad for the kids, but I guess they will find out soon enough on their own. Thanks for the reality check!!
I definitely get what
I definitely get what everyone is tell you. Its good advice. But I'm just going to say, I would write her a quick note or email giving her your name and number if she ever needs someone to commiserate with you are available for coffee.
This may sound weird, but my ex husband was married to his first wife at 18. They never had kids. He cheated on her and broke her heart. I met him a good 12 years or more later. When their dog that they had together died, she tried to find him on social media just to let him know and she ended up contacting me. I was now divorced from him. We kinda have an ex wives club, she and I. we are friends on facebook and we email each other occassionally. For some reason, she gets me. She gets what I went through in my marriage because it happened to her too. Just ten years earlier. No one understands our weird friendship but she understands me perfectly because of our shared experience.
You and this woman are about to have a shared horror experience of bleached blonde big boobed BM. I say give your number. Just in case. No need to be gossipy and drama filled but you never know. You could be that woman's shoulder to cry on.
Well, except for your SD's
Well, except for your SD's age I'd think we had the same BM! Our BM married DH at 18, they had 3 kids, she cheated on him and then married the guy she was cheating with (H2). Then she cheated on H2 and married the new guy (H3). Last year she told H3 she wanted a divorce because she was going to marry her boyfriend, but then her boyfriend refused to leave his wife so she took H3 back. (You cannot make this shit up.)
Unlike you though, I'm just WILDLY amused by it. I wait for the SDs to tell me the latest installment like it's a soap opera episode.
I would be... put off, let's say, if any of the ex-wives of these guys ever got in touch with ME though. Nor would I consider getting in touch with any of them for a red-hot second. Soap operas are for watching, not participating in. 
No...not interested in her at
No...not interested in her at all. Just for my SD's sake. I love kids (I'm a teacher with three kids of my own + SD 11) and I hate what she has done to her children because of her instability. I'm great friends with her ex#2 and his girlfriend, and we swap stories about the kids and what all they are going through. We are trying to get SD 11 into therapy, and they are doing the same for her little brother. I just hate to see three more innocent kids pulled into her abusive orbit.
I agree...it is a soap opera
I agree...it is a soap opera I want ZERO part in. We don't communicate with BM at all except for occasional text. She isn't on facebook or anything so I don't have to deal with all that. You guys are awesome! So glad I joined. I just about jumped off a cliff, I think. We will focus on SD 11 and keep a good example for her at our home to counteract what she sees at BMs. If his ex contacts me, I'll be glad to chat with her, but I agree it's best to not get involved. There are other things to worry about.
FWIW, I would want to know ,
FWIW, I would want to know , if I were the ex with 3 kids, about the Tsunami/Trainwreck that was about to be unleashed on my kids.
I would send maybe a short
I would send maybe a short note with your info and an offer to talk.
Wow, I wish I would have the opportunity to possibly commiserate with BM's boyfriends ex. But alas will never be able to because noone will commit to a bitter crazy woman.
This is so not a good idea.
This is so not a good idea.
"The road to hell is paved
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
No doubt you're trying to do the right thing but stay out of it.
Early on in stephell when I
Early on in stephell when I was just a young idiot, I was contacted by BM's new fling's wife (He was married) and for months I ignored her requests to speak to me until BM really pissed me off one day. Then I called her. We ended up knowing many of the same people and not realizing that our social circles overlapped. We became friends.
She ended up being crazier than BM and it was havoc for me and DH to get away from the situation.
I ended up at her funeral with BM's new husband there as well. (BM ended up marrying the guy after a messy divorce and the woman died 3 months later). It was a sad situation but honestly - it's only going to bring you drama. There's nothing you can do to change anything. People are going to do whatever people want to do. I still regret getting involved to this day.
What the hell. In for a
What the hell. In for a penny, in for a pound. Call the BM's STBDH's X and load her up with the facts. At least give her forewarning on what her own children are about to be exposed to.